Breaking Apprehension
by Nicole Blaire
Summary: AU/OOC The great musician, Anderson Johan is heart broken. Of course instead of showing his pain, he hides it by pretending to be the "bad boy". But what happens when Yuki Judai falls for this bad boy? Will Johan be able to let go of his past? Language...
1. Pain

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've written a GX fic but I'm glad to be back!**

**I made this plot literally using all music. So I thought I could do chapter songs as some people do. I can't promise that I'll do a song every chapter but I'll try the best I can.**

**Anyway, here's the first chapter. I hope you like it!**

**Song:**

**My Love by Sia**

**Johan's POV**

I lay back against the headboard and tiredly closed my eyes. The effects of being alone was really taking its toll on me.

My eyes burned with the tears I told myself I wouldn't shed. He wouldn't want me to cry. He's literally living vicariously through me. And I _knew_ he wouldn't cry if he were in the situation.

But, _gosh_, Yusei, I miss you so much.

A warm lump formed in my throat then as I tried to choke back a sob.

_Why did you have to go?_ I thought as I squeezed my eyes closed, hoping it would make the tears go away. And when they didn't, I wrapped my arms around myself to hold myself together.

I quickly snatched my phone off of the nightstand and scrolled down to the name I wanted to talk to and pressed call.

"Why, 'ello, mate," he greeted, allowing his Australian drawl take over slightly. "Didn't we just talk a couple hours ago?"

I ignored his teasing went right to it. "Jim," my voice cracked horribly and I knew it was completely obvious I was crying. "Talk to me. I need a distraction. _Please_."

"Johan?" he asked in his regular voice. "Are you ok? What happened?"

A tear escaped from my eye and I couldn't help but scream, "_Kuso!_"

"Johan? You're really starting to freak me out. What's going on?"

I wiped the tear away and said shakily, "The album, Jim."

I heard him sigh on the other side. "I'm sorry, Johan."

"You're not helping!"

"Ok, sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I said firmly. "I want to forget it."

"Ok. Should I come over and bring a movie or something?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I flipped."

"Johan, stop apologizing. This is hard for you, I understand, mate. Can you hang in there 'till I get there?"

I nodded before I realized he couldn't see me. "Yes. Just…hurry."

"I will. Hang in there my little protégé," he said before he hung up.

I snapped my phone shut and continued rocking back and forth. I just had to hold on until he got here.

I kept taking deep breaths and after what seemed like an eternity, I heard him.

The door slammed closed and Jim's almost inhumanly fast footsteps came up the stairs and burst into my room.

He was leaning in the doorway, gasping for air. After taking a good look at my current state and the photo album I had chucked across the room, he instantly came to my side and wrapped me in his arms.

Jim's been my best friend since elementary school. We first met in third grade. If I wasn't in so much pain at the moment, I would've smiled at the memory of how we met.

We were in recess and the two of us were playing by ourselves. And for whatever reason, I saw him sitting across from me about maybe twelve feet away. So I took a pile of mud and threw it at him.

He glared at me and threw it back.

Atlas, an everlasting friendship started.

Then in fourth grade, we met Yusei.

I winced at the thought of his name which caused Jim to tighten his grip on me.

Everyone was making fun of him because he had a scar on his face. So Jim and I stepped in and defended him. After that, Yusei fit right into our group.

And then in middle school, we met Asuka and her two cousins Ryo and Sho. Ryo took a little getting used to (well, actually we're _still_ trying to get used to him) but Asuka says under all his douchebaggery, he's a nice guy.

Jim finally let go and held me at arm's length. "You ok?"

I nodded. "What movie did you bring?"

He smiled and held up _The Night at the Museum._ He knew that was my favorite movie.

"I have the second one. Wanna watch that one afterwards?" I asked.

"Really? I've been meaning to see that one."

I grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the den where the DVD player was.

Jim placed the disk into the doo-hickey and then plopped back on the couch next to me as I began fast forwarding through the previews.

I pressed play when the opening credits came on and was soon sucked into the movie just like every other time I watched it.

During the second movie, we decided we were hungry. So we got up and walked into the kitchen.

We ended up just making popcorn since it was easy and quick.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

After finishing both movies, it was a little after ten. Jim and I were leaning on each other still chuckling at bits and pieces of the movie.

"Johan?" Jim said seriously.

I looked up at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

I cocked a brow suspiciously. "It depends. What about?"

He swallowed. "Um…Yusei." He said it slowly as of not to startle me.

I cleared my throat multiple times before I found my voice. "O-ok," I stuttered.

"I was thinking about visiting him tomorrow. Do you want to come with me or should we go separately like we usually do."

I glanced at my sunburst acoustic guitar as I thought. I had been writing a song for Yusei and it would be awkward to play while Jim was there.

"Um, maybe next time. I just-"

"I understand, mate," he said with his Australian drawl. That's what I loved most about him. It's just something about his accent…it made me feel calm.

"Thanks, Jim."

"You know I'm always here for you." He sighed. "I should probably get going."

"Ok."

I walked him to what I called "The Safari Car" that he owned and waved as he pulled away.

I got back inside and grabbed my guitar and brought it with me to my room so I could work on finishing the song for Yusei.

When I was sure it was finished, I closed the book that had all the chords and lyrics written in it and decided it was time for bed.

Placing my guitar in its rightful place, I went back to my bed and went to sleep with dreams of _him_.

**Yep that's it for now. I know it was a bit short but it's the best I can come up with. I hope you all enjoyed it! Review plz!**

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	2. Moving In

**Hello people on computers! Lol I hope you're all ready for the second chapter! I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Song:**

**September by Daughtry**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh GX or this song.**

**Johan's POV**

I woke up panting and sweating as I always did when I dreamed of him. And it was always the same one.

I was walking on the street, trying to squeeze through all of the news reporters and police officers, following his voice.

_Johan…_

I picked up my pace.

_Johan, I need you…_

Finally I made it through and I saw him lying there, lifeless and motionless.

_I love you, Johan._

And then I'd wake up.

I wiped the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand and then got up to take a shower.

Once it was set to a tolerable temperature, I jumped in and let the water run over top of my head and down the rest of my body.

When I was sure that I no longer smelled of perspiration, I turned the water off and dried myself off with a towel.

I picked out a plain white T-shirt and jeans with a light purple vest.

I quickly ate breakfast and brushed my teeth before grabbing my guitar and got onto Yusei's old motorcycle. The one that I had gotten fixed after the crash.

I swallowed hard and pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind as I tightened the strap of my guitar case tighter against me so I was sure it wouldn't fall.

Then I pressed down on the clutch like he had taught me and started the gas. Then I slowly released the clutch from my grip and I was off.

I watched buildings and trees whip past me as I went faster.

Quickly glancing at the time, I saw it was a little after noon. I still had plenty of time before Jim would come. He liked to visit in the late afternoon.

When the big black gates came into view, I slowed down and then pulled in, driving slowly around the circle until I reached the area, Yusei was in.

I turned off the bike and let it stand on the kickstand.

Taking a deep breath, I started slowly down the aisle of grass until I found his name.

I sat down on my knees and tried to hold back my tears.

"Hey, Yusei," I said hoarsely. "I'm sorry it's been a while since I last visited you." A few tears had escaped then so I stopped to wipe them away.

"Um, I wrote a song for you. I mean, I just thought it'd be easier to get all my feelings out this way so…here goes nothing."

I took out my guitar and made sure it was still in tune, which it was. Then I started to play the first few chords.

"_How the time passed away, all the trouble that we gave_

"_And all those days we spent out by the lake…"_

Our first kiss was at the lake that was in the middle of woods that were behind my parents' house.

"_Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made_

"_One by one they vanish just the same."_

He promised me he'd never leave me at the night of the high school dance…but in the end, he did leave me. But I knew perfectly well that it wasn't his fault.

"_Of all the things I still remember, summer's never looked the same._

"_The years go by and time just seems to fly, but the memories remain_

"_In the middle of September, we'd still play out in the rain,_

"_Nothing to lose but everything to gain. Reflecting now on how things could've been_

"_It was worth it in the end."_

I continued like that until I reached the last chord and let it hang in the air.

"I miss you, Yusei," I said lightly. Then I began packing my stuff and drove home all blurry eyed which probably wasn't the safest thing to do but I made it home just fine.

I noticed that the red handle on my mailbox was pointing up, signaling that I had mail.

When the bike was put safely in the garage, I opened the mailbox and pulled out all of the envelopes.

As I flipped through them, I murmured to myself, "Bill, bill, bill, junk," and I stopped when I saw a letter from the college I was going to, Duel Academia.

I opened it up and read all six pages of them (cue eye roll here). And to pretty much sum it up, they wanted me to attend the orientation they were holding in the auditorium.

Well, if I was going, I'd be sure I had someone to talk to because I was sure that it'd get boring.

I called Jim.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Asuka," I greeted. Asuka and Jim have been joined at the hip since they met in middle school. It surprised me that they weren't together yet. "Is Jim nearby?"

"Um, yeah, he's just watching TV. Did you want to talk to him about something?"

I smiled. I knew what she was talking about but she kept it very subtle. "No, nothing important. I was just wondering if you got a letter from DA."

"I did and I think I saw it here at Jim's too. Why, are you thinking about going?"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna go alone 'cause I have a feeling it'll get excruciatingly boring."

She laughed. "Yes, Johan, we're going. Actually, we're about to leave now."

"_We're going where?"_ I heard in the background.

"To the orientation," Asuka answered. "Anyway, do you need a ride or are you gonna scare the hell out of everyone by arriving on your big bad motorcycle?"

I smirked. "I think I'll go with the second option."

She sighed. "Yo-Yo, you should really think about quitting the whole bad boy act."

I had been acting like the "bad boy" as Asuka so kindly put it, since Yusei died and I didn't really see a reason to stop. Fortunately, they understood why I did and saw right past it.

I rolled my eyes. "I've thought about it several times and every time I tell myself no. And don't call me Yo-Yo."

She giggled. "Whatever you say, _Yo-Yo._" And then she hung up before I could come up with a retort.

I shook my head and chuckled as I tucked my phone back in my pocket.

It was only four and the orientation was at seven. And since I was living all the way in Hiroshima, there was no way I'd make it to Domino City if I didn't leave now.

So I went back into the garage and hopped back on my motorcycle and started driving.

After about an hour, I saw "The Safari Car."

I smiled and sped up until I was driving right behind Jim and Asuka.

Asuka saw me and laughed as she waved.

I nodded my head, not wanted to take my hands off of the handlebars.

The sunroof opened and up stood Asuka with her blonde hair blowing everywhere.

"Where's you helmet?" she called to me.

"Not here," I called back.

"You're such a smartass!"

"And how long have you known me?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm gonna sit down before we get pulled over by the cops."

"Wuss!" I called as she sat down. And threw the window I saw her give me the finger.

At five to seven, we finally arrived at DA. The people that were just getting out of their cars stared as I pulled in my motorcycle.

I straightened out my clothes and walked in with Jim and Asuka.

Inside, we saw Ryo and Sho already sitting so we headed in their direction to sit with them.

"Hey guys," Sho greeted.

"Hey," we all said.

"'Sup, Johan," Ryo said facing me.

"What up, Ryo," I responded.

Because of my relatively new reputation, Ryo and I have been getting along better.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Asuka roll her eyes.

"Welcome students. I hope you all enjoyed your summer."

An echo of groans sounded but the man who was standing there acted as if he didn't hear it and continued speaking.

"Now I know some of you have noticed the buildings behind the school. Well, those are your dorms. Don't fret, they're completely optional. You can stay in the home you're currently living in or you can move into your dorm. Either way it's perfectly fine."

This was a perfect opportunity to get a fresh start. A new place, a new school, new people. Perfect.

"Now before I move on, are there any questions?" he asked.

Some hands shot up right away and twinkled their fingers like they were in kindergarten.

I scoffed silently and raised my hand the proper way.

"Uh, the young man with the unnatural blue hair," he said looking at me.

Excuse me? Unnatural blue hair? It is _not_ blue! It's teal!

I shook my head and forced myself not to say those words. "Are we allowed to move into our dorms now?"

"Yes. But everyone is assigned a room and dorm. The lists behind me are in alphabetical order. You may take a look at them after we're done here."

The rest of the questions were questions that he had already answered in his small speech which annoyed the shit out of me because he had to repeat everything at least ten times.

About half way through, I fell asleep. Now, usually I'm good at paying attention and keeping my grades up but good God! That was a long ass speech!

When I woke up, people were beginning to walk up to the lists. I looked over and was surprised to see Goody-Goody-Asuka sleeping on Jim's shoulder.

I looked over at Sho. "Do you know what's going on?" I asked.

"People are looking at their assigned rooms and then we're walking around the school so we can get a feel of where everything is."

I nodded and then woke Jim and Asuka up. "C'mon, guys get up."

As we walked down the aisle, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked for my name.

Anderson, Johan: Obelisk Blue Dorm, Room: 106

"What dorm are you guys in?" I asked.

"Blue," said Alexis.

"Blue," repeated Jim.

"What they said," Ryo said gesturing to Alexis and Jim.

I looked at Sho.

"Red," he said glumly.

We all laughed.

"Well that's okay, we'll still see you at breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"No, for anyone who _wasn't_ sleeping, the eating periods are assigned for each dorm."

"Oh. Well, then we'll sneak in with you, right guys?" I said hoping I had backup.

"Count me in," said Ryo. "I'm always up for a challenge."

"Me too, mate," Jim said as he ruffled Sho's hair.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess I'm outvoted, huh?"

I smiled smugly as I crossed my arms and waited for her answer.

"Ugh! Fine."

I clapped my hands together. "Alright then. Now how 'bout we take a look at our dorms?"

Once everyone agreed, I led the way to the Obelisk Blue dorm. It was _huge_. Almost like a mini hotel. There was even a kitchen! A freaking kitchen!

"I have a feeling I'm gonna like it here," Ryo said with a satisfied smile.

"Why couldn't I get Obelisk Blue?" Sho asked more to himself than anyone else.

I patted his back. "You'll make it, kid."

He looked up at me with a smirk. "Last time I checked, I was three months older than you, _kid_."

I glared at him as everyone laughed. "Shut up, Slifer-Slacker."

He kicked me in the shin. Hard.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"Don't mess with short people," was all he said.

I glared harder at him and Jim put an arm around my shoulder.

"It's alright, mate. It was an unfair fight since he's picking on the weaker man."

I elbowed him in the ribs forcefully. "Shut up, Aussi." I knew he hated it when I called him that which was exactly why I did it.

"Remind me why I'm your friend?" he said playfully.

I smiled. "Because I'm your little protégé."

He smiled apologetically and patted my shoulder comfortingly.

Soon, we left our dorm and went to see Sho's dorm. The minute we saw it, we were frozen in place.

It wasn't even a dorm. It was a…_trailer_.

"I don't even _want_ to know what it looks like inside," Sho said miserably.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

After we got a full on tour of the building, everyone was leaving to either get their things to move into their dorms or to just go home.

I was getting my things so I could move in. Of course it took three hours to get there, get my stuff and then another three hours to get back plus unpacking. So it was almost three in the morning by the time I finished.

The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light. But of course I still dreamed. There was nothing I could do to keep him out of my dreams. Absolutely nothing.

Man, this was gonna be _long_ ride.

**Well, that's the second chapter. I hoped you all enjoyed it! Review if you want Johan to sing and play to you! lol**

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	3. Party Time!

**WOOT! We're already here at the third chapter! Awesome! Anyways, let's begin, shall we?**

**Songs:**

**Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy**

**End Of The Summer by Theory of a Deadman**

**Awake and Alive by Skillet (Johan's song)**

**Johan's POV**

The sound of my phone ringing woke me up the next day.

I groaned in protest and smacked my phone hoping it would shut it up.

It didn't.

I picked up the phone and looked without looking at the caller id.

"What insane person calls me this early in the morning?" I growled.

"Well, it looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, eh?"

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want, Jim?"

"Well, for starters, it's not morning. It's afternoon."

Looking at the clock I saw it was 12:18.

I sighed. "Ok, I stand corrected. Now what do you want, Aussi?"

I heard him grumble incoherent obscenities which caused me to snicker.

"Well, Yo-Yo, I wanted to invite you to my party that I'm holding tonight," he finally said.

"What?" I was completely shocked. "Jim, how the hell did you start a party that fast? Who's gonna be there?"

"Everyone that's attending DA."

"Where are you gonna have it," I asked. Now, I wasn't one to turn down a party but seriously? I don't even know any of these people and neither does Jim. It just doesn't make sense.

"Will you stop worrying and just go with it? And it'll be here in the dorm."

"How are you gonna fit over 500 people into your room?" I practically screamed.

"Are you that stupid?" he asked.

"I'm tired! Give me a break!"

He sighed. "I never said in my _room_. I said in the _dorm_, dumbass."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yep."

I scoffed. "Fine."

"Cool. Oh, and bring your guitar."

I hadn't played in front of anyone besides Yusei and the group. "What for?"

"Asuka gave me the idea of having a karaoke thing and I thought that if we had an actual musician play it would be awesome."

"No."

"What about for fifty bucks?" he bribed. I hate to say it but I think I might've been falling for it.

I was saving up for a new guitar that I saw a couple months ago. It just like my sunburst one except the color was the same dark blue as Yusei's eyes. I knew I had to get it. I knew that that fifty bucks would bring me to the exact amount of money, I needed to buy it.

"Deal," I said immediately.

"Yes! Thanks, Johan. I'll see you tonight at six, ok?"

I sighed. "Alright."

So for the next five hours, I plucked at my guitar. Songs were usually easy to write. I used to be able to write one in under a half hour. But now…it seemed like it took an eternity just to get the intro.

I sighed rubbed my face irately and looked at the time.

5:45

Shit! Where did all the time go? Five seconds ago, it said 12:30!

WHAT. THE. CRAP.

I jumped off the bed and then jumped into the shower…literally. Which was a bad idea because I ended up slipping and almost cracked my head open. And I still had my clothes on.

_Gosh, Johan, what happened to the smooth European boy?_ I thought to myself as I got rid of my now soaked clothes.

After I showered, (properly, I might add) I shoved my wet clothes into the dryer and got a new set of clothes.

While I dressed, I heard the music blasting downstairs.

I left my guitar in the room since I would only be going downstairs. Once Jim needed me, I'd come back and get it. Only problem was, I wasn't sure if I wanted my electric guitar or my acoustic.

I shrugged. I'd figure it out later.

There were already tons of people there. I still didn't understand how he got this many people.

I shook my head incredulously and continued down the steps.

I said hello to the people I knew (mainly the group).

The minute Dance, Dance came on, everyone was on their feet jumping and dancing to the beat.

I was dancing along side Jim while Asuka was dancing with her cousins.

"Having fun, eh?" said Jim.

I laughed. "I have to admit, you _do_ know how to throw a good party."

About half way through the song, I noticed Asuka standing alone, lightly tapping her foot to the beat. So I bumped my hip to Jim's a little harder than normal which caused him to stumble over to Asuka.

I winked at him and the two of them started dancing together.

Smiling at the two of them, I walked to the punch bowl and poured myself a glass.

A few more songs played until Asuka stopped the music.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said loudly so everyone could hear her. "But someone wants to try the karaoke machine. This kid's got guts to go first," she laughed. "Anyway, here's Yuki Judai singing End Of The Summer by Theory of a Deadman."

The boy stood up to the mic and the minute I saw his eyes, I was done.

They were big chocolate brown eyes with disheveled hair that was mixed with orange and brown.

And when he opened his mouth and sang the first few words…_holy shit!_ I almost had a musical orgasm!

And for the rest of the song, I just ogled his good looks.

At some point, his eyes glanced at me and I felt the corner of my mouth twitch into a small smaller.

Something flickered in his eyes but I could tell what it was. But I pushed the thought away and continued to listen to his incredible voice.

People started clapping their hands to the beat and for some strange reason, I did too.

He finally reached the last note and everyone clapped and cheered.

I stuck two fingers in my mouth and whistled.

Everyone turned toward me and I glared at all of them, giving them by best, "Fuck With Me And See What Happens" face.

And just like that, they returned their attention to Judai-kun whose face was slightly flushed as if he were embarrassed. But I honestly had no idea why because that was _amazing!_

When he left the stage, I ran to my room to get my guitar. Remember when I said that I've been having trouble writing songs? Well now I had inspiration. And that inspiration was yours truly, Yuki Judai.

I decided on my electric guitar and decided to tune it while some other songs played. Then I plucked out some chords that I thought sounded good with what I was feeling right now.

I didn't worry about the in betweens or the lyrics. I figured I'd just wing it.

After trotting back down the steps, I walked up to Jim.

He saw the guitar in my hand and nodded in approval. He walked with me to the stage and again stopped the music.

"Well guys, I'd like you all to meet my friend, Johan. He agreed to play a few songs for us. So, let's raise the roof!" he said lamely.

I laughed and put my hand on his shoulder. "Jim, I think you should stop talking now."

"Right."

I shook my head and plugged in my guitar to the amp and started playing.

I was probably staring at Judai the entire time but I couldn't help it. He was so attractive! And me made me feel…_good_. At least better than I've been feeling for the past year and a half.

"_I'm at world with the world and they try to pull me into the dark,"_

"_I struggle to find my faith, as I'm slipping from your arms."_

I was surprised to find Asuka stand in front of me and sing along with me.

"_It's getting harder to stay awake. And my strength is fading fast!"_

"_You breathe into me at last."_

And I took over from there with Asuka in the background. I still had no idea how Asuka always knew what I was thinking when it came to songs. It was like she was a mind reader or some shit.

"_I'm awake, I'm alive! Now I know what I believe inside."_

"_Now, it's my time. I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life!"_

Again, Asuka came in.

"_Right here, right now! Stand my ground and never back down!"_

And then together we sang:

"_I know what I believe inside, I'm awake and I'm alive!"_

My fingers ran across the strings as more words spilled from my mouth.

And then finally I finished the song with one last stroke of the chord.

And I noticed with amazement that Judai was the one who started the applause as he smiled brightly.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The party didn't end until midnight. Whilst, I had a great time, I knew that I'd be tired in the morning. Since tomorrow was our official first day of college.

I sighed heavily and tucked myself under the blankets and went to sleep.

**Ok, that's it for now! I hoped you all enjoyed the song choices. Next chapter will be in Judai's POV EEEEEP! Lol **

**Review plz!**

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	4. Sparks Fly

**WOOOT! I'm super excited for this chapter! Now this is where most of the OOC comes in. Our little Judai-kun is a little more mature in this fic lol**

**Well, it's not really OOC if I say I'm using season 4 Judai haha**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Song:**

**Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift**

**Judai's POV**

The night of the orientation was pure torture. Why did my parents force me to go?

And shut up. Yes, I still lived with my parents. But I'm only seventeen. I'm not old enough to move out yet.

So, how did I end up in college? Well, I skipped eighth grade so I've always been a year younger than everyone else.

Most people thought I was lazy, but I'm not.

…

Ok, so maybe I am. I'm smart, very smart actually. I just so happen to dislike homework.

Anyway, back to the subject.

My parents, Serenity Wheeler and Seto Kaiba, forced me to go to that orientation which, I repeat, was pure torture. There was a super long speech and I couldn't help but fall asleep.

When I woke up, people were up and walking everywhere so I followed their league. I think the worst part of that night was finding out that my dorm was a trailer. I mean, really? A trailer? Why? The other two were like mansions and I got a damn trailer. Now what's up with that? You can afford a big ass college like this plus those two dorms. Why not a third one?

They're racist, I know it.

But while I was walking around in the actual building, a really short kid with blue hair and glasses came up to me.

"There's a party in the Blue Dorm tomorrow," he said and then went to the next person and said the same thing.

A party, huh? Well, who was I to turn down a party?

After the orientation, I went home and told my parents I'd be moving into my dorm.

And after an hour of tears and hugs and cheek pinching, I was finally out of there and on my way back to DA.

And when I returned to the Slifer Red Dorm, I learned that the boy that told there was a party, was also my roommate.

"Hey," I greeted.

"Hi," he said gloomily.

"What's the matter," I asked sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I can't believe that I got a _trailer_ as my dorm. I can't believe _we_ got a trailer as a dorm."

I laughed. "Well, you can't be like that. So what, we got a smaller and more raggedy dorm but guess what?"

"What?" he said.

"We won't have to worry about anyone annoying us for being too loud because we're the only two here!"

He sighed. "I guess your right."

I smiled and patted his back comfortingly. "I'm Judai by the way."

The boy sat up. "I'm Sho. Nice to meet you."

"Same to you."

"You're going to the party tomorrow, right?"

I nodded. "Are you?"

"Yeah. It'd be upsetting if we didn't celebrate the last day of summer."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

On the day of the party, I didn't see a lot of Sho. He was at the Blue Dorm helping set up the stuff. So there wasn't much to do except to unpack.

I had arrived late last night and told myself I'd unpack the next day so that's exactly what I did.

I put pictures of me and my parents around, my first place dueling trophy on my night stand and a bunch of other stuff I felt I couldn't leave at home.

A couple hours later, I was finally finished. And sweaty. Gross.

So I hopped into the shower and then got dressed.

It wasn't long afterwards when Sho walked in.

"Aniki!"

I looked over with a smile. "Hey, Marufuji."

"Come on, Judai-kun! The party's about to start and I want you to meet my friends!"

"Ok, let's go," I said as I followed him to the Blue Dorm.

When we walked in, there were three people standing there.

The tallest and most intimidating was the one with dark teal hair and gray eyes. Now that I think about it, he looked like an older version of Sho!

"The big scary one's my brother, Ryo," Sho said.

Well, that explains it.

"And the one with hat is Jim. He's from Australia. And the girl is my cousin, Asuka."

I nodded my head.

"Hey guys," Sho greeted. "This is my roommate, Yuki Judai. Aniki, these are my friends."

"Nice to meet ya, mate," Jim said as he shook my hand. "I see you've got a good relationship with my buddy here, eh _Aniki?_"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"It's nice to meet you, Judai," Asuka said with a warm smile.

When Ryo didn't say anything, Asuka jabbed him in the ribs. He only rolled his eyes and kept quiet.

"Excuse my cousin," Asuka said.

"Yeah, he's just got PMS problems," Jim said, his accent less thick as before.

Ryo smacked the back of his head, causing his hat to tilt slightly.

"Hey! Watch the hat, mate," he warned.

I stifled my laughter.

And then people started to pile in.

"Alright, whattaya say, we get the music started?" Asuka said, interrupting the stare down that was going on between Jim and Ryo.

That seemed to distract them for the time being and the three of them left to pick out the music.

"Sorry, 'bout him. He's just-"

"Don't worry about it, Sho," I interrupted. "Now let's party!"

We were only about an hour into the party when Asuka beckoned us all over.

"What's up?" Jim asked.

I saw the way she smiled at Jim before she started speaking. "Well, since no one was using the karaoke machine, I was wondering if anyone would do for a Hershey's chocolate bar?" she said waving the chocolate in the air.

"I'll do it!" I said instantly. "I love me some chocolate!"

She grinned. "Alright, we've got a taker!" She led me to the stage and stopped the music.

She apologized for interrupting and told everyone what I was about to do and then left the rest to me.

"Hey, Judai!" she whisper yelled.

I looked down at her questioningly.

"What song?"

I looked at the pile of CD's and pointed to the one I wanted.

She nodded and then put it into the player.

As I began singing the first few words, I saw a boy with teal hair and bright green eyes. He was gorgeous.

And he moved as if he owned the damn place. It was intimidating yet sexy. I knew that if I ran I wouldn't get very far.

It was like all the blood flowing in my head went straight down to my…never mind.

I closed my eyes and shook my head a little to clear my thoughts.

When I reopened them, he was smiling at me. I swear, I felt sparks surge through me and I heard my voice grow louder also. More confident. I knew that if I kept staring into those green eyes, I'd be stuck there forever but I just couldn't get myself to leave them.

_Gosh_, how I wanted to kiss him.

Finally, the song ended and I got a big round of applause and a loud whistle Mr. Hottie which caused me to blush.

I left the stage and snatched the chocolate out of Asuka's hands which caused her to laugh.

"You did really well, Judai," she complimented. "I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Yeah, me neither," I said distractedly. I was too busy nibbling on my chocolate while I stared at the boy, pretending it was…oh my gosh, when did I turn into such a pervert?

To my disappointment, the bluenette went running up the steps and into what I assumed was his room. But it was only a few minutes, he returned.

He started walking toward us and I hid in the midst of the crowd, feeling shy for an unknown reason.

He had an electric guitar at hand and I crossed my fingers, hoping that he'd play. I was fairly curious if his voice was as stimulating as I imagined it would be.

At last, Jim took him to the stage and stopped the music again.

"Well guys, I'd like you all to meet my friend, Johan. He agreed to play a few songs for us. So, let's raise the roof!" he said which gained a good laugh out of everyone.

Johan finally shoved the Australian off of the stage and plugged in his guitar into the amp.

While Johan started playing the chords, Asuka was heading toward the stage.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm gonna sing with him," she said.

"You know what he's singing?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Then how-"

"It's called winging it, Judai-kun."

I shook my head incredulously as she hopped up on stage and stood in front of the mic waiting for her turn.

In the meantime, I fell in love with Johan's beautiful voice. And his guitar playing. He was a pro. I'd be seriously peeved if he didn't take a major in music.

And then Asuka came in and sang a verse which clearly surprised Johan. And then she did the background while Johan did the rest.

The way their voices blended was just…outstanding. I all but had a musical orgasm.

When the song ended, I made sure I was the first one to clap. And I didn't miss the way he smiled at me when I did so.

I spent the rest of the party ogling and mentally undressing Johan from afar. And _boy_ was he fine.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The party ended at midnight since the first day of college officially started tomorrow. I for one, would be tired as shit. But what person actually learns something on the first day? I mean really?

Sho and I tiredly walked back to the Red Dorm.

"So," he paused to yawn, "did you like the party?"

I yawned too. I couldn't help it. It was contagious. "Yeah, it was really fun."

"I would've introduced you to Johan but I never got a chance to catch him."

I smiled lightly. "No worries. I'll meet him eventually." _Hopefully_, I corrected mentally.

Once we made it to the dorm, I climbed into my bed and bid Sho goodnight.

"Goodnight, Aniki," he said right before he drifted off.

I smiled and had peaceful dreams of a certain bluenette that I couldn't keep my eyes off all night.

Do you have a guess yet? Well, if you guessed Johan, then you're correct.

**Well, I hoped you all enjoyed Judai's POV. You'll be seeing a lot of him haha Next chapter I'll unfortunately have to hand it back to Johan but don't worry! I assure you, our little Judai **_**will**_** come back.**

**Lol review plz!**

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	5. Screw The Rules Cuz I Have Blue Hair

**O M GEISTERS! WE'RE ALREADY AT CHAPTER 5! AAAAAAAAAH lol sorry I just had sugar ahaha**

**Anywaaaaaaaay, let's get started!**

**Song:**

'**Cuz I Can by P!nk**

**Johan's POV**

I had the dream again. Except it was ten times worse.

I was still running through the crowd trying to follow his voice but when I found him, he didn't say what he usually said.

_Johan…why?_

I stood there dumbly, not sure what to say or do.

_Why did you leave me…for _him_? Why, Johan? Why?_

I shot awake then sweating and panting.

Out of instinct, I grabbed the album. The album that was filled with pictures of me and him.

I flipped open to a random picture. It was the one taken on the day he bought his motorcycle.

He was sitting on it with his helmet held in his hand as he smiled at the camera.

My eyes watered as my fingers traced over the picture. "I never left you, Yusei. And I never will."

Officially of today, Yuki Judai would have to be permanently erased from my mind.

I looked at the time and was shocked to see that it was after four in the morning.

I sighed heavily. After that dream, I knew I wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon. So, I made myself a steaming hot cup of coffee, got showered and dressed and went outside to go for a ride. I needed to clear my head a little.

It was still dark outside and it was mildew-y. It still felt like summer. Why did it have to end so soon.

I started the engine and backed out of my parking spot and zoomed off.

I had no idea where I wanted to go but I didn't think about it. I just concentrated on not crashing.

At around five, I noticed that I was getting low on gas so I stopped at the nearest gas station and filled up. Then I made my way back to DA. I was officially a college student. I could only hope it'd be as fun as my parents said it would. If I "majored in something I really enjoyed, I was bound to have a fun time at college."

I rolled my eyes. It's not like it mattered. There was just no point. Whatever I did, I'd never have someone to come home to, and praise me on how well I did at my job or comfort me if I had a really shitty day at work. Or just to kiss me when I came home.

I was gonna be one of those old perverts online pretending to be hormonal teenage girls, luring people to their apartment buildings to rape them.

I shuddered at the thought. Ok, so maybe I'm over exaggerating. But the point is, I'd be alone for the rest of my life.

And I've accepted that. I'm not just saying that in hopes of someone to feel guilty for me or something. But just because I've accepted it, doesn't mean I have to like it. And trust me I didn't. But there was no one else I wanted but him. Yusei.

My damn eyes watered again which made me frustrated and may have forced me to run a few red lights and go a little faster than the actual speed limit.

I pulled in the school parking lot just in time.

Once again everyone stared at me as I rode in on my bike.

As I came closer to the building, I pushed and shoved anyone who got in my way.

My first class was English. Great. When could I get to my music class? I mean, that _is_ what I signed up to be in.

I skimmed down my schedule and saw that my music class wasn't until the very end of the day. Shit. I guess I'd just have to endure it.

After walking in the classroom, I sat down in between Jim and Asuka like usual.

"Hey, Johan," Asuka greeted.

"Hi," was my bitter welcoming.

She giggled lightly. "Someone's a little cranky today."

"Fuck you, Asuka," I said a little more harshly than I meant it.

Jim punched my arm roughly.

"Ow! Jim, what the hell was that for?"

He glared at me. "That was too far, Johan."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"Mr. Anderson," the teacher said, looking straight at me. "Do I need to move you?"

After looking at the faces of my friends, I said, "Yes, you do."

He cocked his head to the side. "Well then, take a seat next to Mr. Yuki here."

I groaned silently. Great. Just great. I told myself I wouldn't think about Judai but here I am, having to sit _right effing next to him_.

Miserably, I plopped down next to him.

After a few moments of listening to the teacher rant, someone started whispering to me.

"Hi, Johan."

I looked out of the corner of my eyes to look at Judai. He was so adorable up close but I knew I couldn't give in. Yusei needed me. But how was I supposed do that when he looked at me like that?

I shook my head.

_No Johan_, I thought. _Don't think like that. Do whatever you need to do to ignore him._

I figured it would be easier to just be mean like I was to everyone else.

So I continued to stare at him, hoping my silence would give him an idea that I didn't like him.

His cheerful brown eyes saddened slightly so I looked away before I could feel guilty. But it wasn't long before he started speaking again.

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that you were great at the party."

I almost said, "Thanks, you too," but I stopped myself. I swallowed hard before I said, "Do me a favor and just stop talking."

His face was so sad then. I wanted to punch myself. Judai was way too kind to be treated this way.

"What's your problem?" he asked angrily.

Yusei's words echoed through my head and I knew I had to stay with him.

Instead of looking at him from the corner of my eye, I physically moved and said firmly, "_You're_ my problem."

He faced forward and glared at the wall and murmured, "Jackass," before he decided not to talk to me all class period.

A few seconds later, something hit the back of my head.

I turned around to see Asuka sitting a few rows behind me, nodding her head to the balled up piece of paper on the floor.

Glancing at the teacher, he was too busy to notice me lean down and pick it up.

_You know, it's one thing to be all cranky with us because of your situation but it's another to be just plain old mean with a boy who's just trying to be a nice person, DIPSHIT!_

I sighed heavily. This was _not_ how I wanted to spend my first day of college.

And all the way up until lunch, I was sitting in class feeling guilty. Asuka was right. I _am_ a dipshit.

When the lunch bell rang, I took my lunch and sat at the one of the empty tables. But once I was about to unwrap my food, Asuka marched up to the table, snatched my lunch and took it to her table. Then she came back and dragged me by my hair with it and sat me down.

"You thought you could escape my wrath?" she asked with a glare.

I didn't get the chance to respond before she bitch-slapped me.

"I deserved that," I said as I rubbed my cheek.

"Damn right, you did!" Jim and Asuka said together.

Asuka sighed irately and sat down next to me said with a less aggravated voice, "Johan, I get it. You're upset and I can appreciate that. I'm used to you saying stuff like that to me because I know the situation you're in." She put her hand on my shoulder and shook her head. "But Judai-kun doesn't. He doesn't know a _thing_. You can't do that, Johan. You just can't."

And here comes more guilt.

"Now, Judai's our friend. And hopefully we can get him to sit here with us. But if you seriously can't stand to be with him then you can sit somewhere else," she said seriously.

And I would have. But then I'd miss another chance to see his beautiful face again.

"No, I'll be fine."

The two of them looked at me for a second longer before they continued to eat.

Soon Judai and Sho walked into the cafeteria and headed for our table. Judai was so distracted with his conversation with Sho that he didn't see me until he stood right in front of me.

I couldn't help but stare at him. He was gorgeous. Those deep chocolate brown eyes trapped me every time.

I swallowed and forced myself to look away.

"Um, maybe I should sit somewhere-"

"No, Judai," Jim interrupted. "Johan will behave. Won't ya, mate?" he asked as he patted my shoulder.

I nodded, not looking up. If I did, I'd just stare at him like a complete idiot. But when Jim pinched my shoulder, I was forced to.

Asuka gave me a pointed look and cleared her throat rather loudly.

I turned to look at Judai. The whole table was silent, waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't. It was his eyes that kept me distracted.

Asuka kicked my shin and just like that, the spell was broken. Well if that's all it took then I'd have to keep her around.

"I'm sorry, Judai," I said to him.

I saw something flicker in his eyes. But before I could even decipher what it was, it disappeared.

Judai finally sat down across from me.

We were all conversing about our opinions on the classes, who was majoring in what and so on. But I was barely talking. I was too busy glancing at the adorable boy sitting across from me.

I noticed that throughout the whole time we were talking, he kept some part of his body, whether it was his fingers, his leg or even his arms.

"You fidget a lot," I said without warning.

The look of desperation and embarrassment on his face had me ready to apologize again but before I could, Asuka was pointing forward to another empty table.

"Go," she ordered.

I sighed and gave Judai one last look before I stalked over to the empty table and finished my lunch silently.

As I looked up, I saw Judai looking at me guiltily. But I couldn't imagine what for. I was the one who messed up. Not him.

Since I finished my lunch early, I decided I'd leave and sit by myself for the remaining fifteen minutes.

I felt everyone's eyes on me as I left the cafeteria, but I was used to it. You know, being the "bad boy" and all.

I walked around the corner and sat myself on staircase and thought about what had happen in the course of three hours.

Hmm, let's see, I smart mouthed Asuka, Jim _and_ Judai, I got slapped by Asuka, I embarrassed Judai and worst of all, I neglected Yusei. _Again_.

I closed my eyes and sighed in frustration.

"Mother fucking shit," I mumbled.

I'm not sure how long I sat there but the longer I did, the feeling of something or someone watching me grew. So finally, I opened my eyes and turned my head only to see the shadow of a figure running away.

I stood up and looked around the corner but no one was there.

Groaning while rolling my eyes, I picked up my stuff and made my way to my next class.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

Music was fun. That was probably the only class I enjoyed out of the whole day. The only class where I didn't have to pretend. The only class where I could let out all of my feelings.

Maybe having music at the end of the day wasn't a bad idea. It gave me something to look forward to. And also, if something happened, I could let it all out in my guitar. Now if I had it any other time, something could happen _after_ music. And then I'd have to wait until I got back to my dorm to release it.

When the day was over, I went and did my homework which took a couple of hours but when it was done, I was able to play around with my guitar for last two hours before I had to go to sleep.

But I was interrupted by my phone ringing.

I set my guitar down and picked up the phone. "What?"

"Don't _what_ me," Asuka snapped.

I pinched the bridge of my nose agitatedly. "Was there something you wanted?"

She was silent.

"Well?"

Finally she spoke. "Well, I just wanted to tell you that Judai stood up for you, even though you clearly didn't deserve it."

"What the hell are you talking about? The kid doesn't even-"

"I dunno, Johan. All I know is that when we made you leave the table at lunch, he freaked out. He said that it was 'completely unnecessary and mean.'"

I smiled. "Well, it was a little mean."

"And it was mean to point out all his flaws!" she backfired.

"I didn't!"

"Yes you did!" she argued. _"You fidget a lot."_

"That was a horrible impression of me. And that isn't pointing out his flaws. It's just an observation."

"Well, obviously he didn't _like_ that observation."

"And from what you're telling me, he didn't like the fact that you made me leave either." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Look. I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you all night. Was there a purpose to this phone call, or did you just feel the need to rant?"

She cleared her throat. "Yes, there was."

"Ok, well what was it?"

It was so silent on the other end that I almost thought she hung up. But then she said quickly, "I'm sorry, ok?"

I threw my head back and laughed. "Wow! Asuka Tenjoin apologizing? That's new. Can I get this in writing?"

"Shut up, Johan! Take or leave it."

Silencing my laughs, I nodded and said, "I'll take it."

"That's what I thought."

"Bye, Asuka."

I continued to pluck the strings of my guitar, still chuckling at the fact that Asuka _freaking_ Tenjoin apologized to me.

Ah man, what a day.

**Yep, that's it. I hoped you all enjoyed it! See ya next chapter!**

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	6. Why Ya Gotta Be So Mean?

**Are you guys ready for Judai? I hope so because that's who you'll be seeing this chapter! YAY! Lol enjoy!**

**Judai's POV**

**Song:**

**Mean by Taylor Swift**

I was so tired the next morning. That damn party kept me up for an extra two hours. Which meant I only got four and a half hours of sleep. So once again, I…am…TIRED.

I was just about to put my head down and go to sleep when I heard my name.

"Well then take a seat next to Mr. Yuki, here."

And then _he_ sat next to me. His very presence sent a surge of energy through me, making my whole body tingle. It was making me crazy. Like, literally crazy. It made me talk to him! If it wasn't for that, I would've never opened my mouth! I mean, c'mon what was I supposed to say?

Oh, I know. Something like, "Hi, Johan." Yeah, stupid.

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and didn't say anything which was a little weird. Was he mad or something?

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that you were great at the party."

"Do me a favor and stop talking to me."

I knew it was no use trying to talk to him. He's on a completely different level than I was on.

Wait…why was I thinking like this? That doesn't matter. It's still rude to say that to someone. C'mon, Judai! Stand up for yourself!

"What's your problem?" I demanded.

He shifted so he could look right at me. "_You're_ my problem."

I was so pissed I swore, there was smoke coming out of my ears. As I huffed angrily, I turned and made sure not to talk to him for the rest of eternity.

But every period my anger would lesson and my sorrow would grow. And by lunch, all my anger had passed and it was just my hurt feelings that were left. Of course when Sho saw me, I tried my best to hide it. And I was doing pretty well until I looked up and saw Johan sitting at the lunch table.

"Maybe I should sit somewhere-"

"No, no, Johan will behave," Jim interrupted with the same Australian accent. "Won'cha, mate?"

Johan nodded and after a long moment of silence, he looked up and said, "I'm sorry, Judai."

The way my name rolled off of his tongue like that was just…_mmmmm…_

Whoa! Stop! You're supposed to be mad at him, remember? But how was supposed to angry at that face? And that apology? It wasn't one of those forced I'm Sorry's, it was like he actually meant it. But I still refused to give in. So I sat down at the table and tried not to stare at his angelic face.

While everyone began talking, I felt like Johan was looking at me. No, I take that back. I was _positive_ he was looking at me, which made me fidget. I couldn't tell if it was because I was uncomfortable or turned on.

Then suddenly, I heard his voice again.

"You fidget a lot."

I looked up at him. It's not like the way he said it upset me. If I wasn't looking at him, or if I was blind I probably would've thought he was just stating an observation. But as I looked up at his face, I couldn't help but feel insecure. He looked at me as if I were a fly under a magnifying glass. Like he had me captured. Now what I needed to figure out was whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Go!"

I looked over at Asuka to see her glaring at the bluenette and pointing her finger to the table across the room.

Disappointment washed over me as I saw him leave. I wanted him there. Not all the way across the room where I couldn't see him. Why was _I _being punished?

"What did you do that for?" I whined.

"What?" Jim asked.

"That was absurd and completely unnecessary!"

"But, Judai," Asuka started, "We thought he hurt your feelings."

"Even if he did, that's _my_ battle to fight, not yours. I mean, I can appreciate you want to protect me but I'm a big boy, I don't need bodyguards."

"Can someone please clue me in on what the hell just happened?" Sho asked desperately.

"Yeah, that wouldn't hurt on my part either," said Ryo.

"Not now," all three of us said simultaneously.

"He did a little but I don't think he meant to," I said, answering Asuka's first question.

As I looked back at him, I saw all the guilt written on his face. He was upset. I wasn't sure if it was because of the scene that just unfolded in front of him or if it was more to it.

"Look," I continued. "Just by looking at him, I can tell there's something hurting him. And if there was something like that happening to me, I'd probably act like an ass too. Just cut him some slack."

It was then I saw him get up and leave so I followed him. I stayed quiet so he wouldn't hear me.

He turned the corner and sat on the staircase. He leaned his head against the railing and sighed. The pain on his face was so strong, I could literally feel it from where I was standing. I just wanted to comfort him. But I couldn't. It was more than just giving the person a hug and saying that everything would be ok.

The longer I stared the more pain I felt. Eventually, I was forced to sit down on the floor. But I never kept my eyes off of him. I felt like that if I left him, he'd shatter into a million pieces. Though, I had a feeling that's already happened.

Then without warning, his eyes snapped open. And before he could turn to look at me, I was off running.

When I was sure that he couldn't see me anymore, I slowed to a walk and sighed in relief when the bell rang. I didn't want to go back to the lunch room and I sure as hell didn't want Johan to see me so I just started walking to my next class.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

As I was walking back to my dorm, I spotted Johan. His shoulders were straight and the spark was back in his green eyes. I'm not sure what happened but whatever it was, I was glad it did. I loved seeing him happy. Just like he was on stage at the party. He deserved to be happy.

I smiled at him even though he wasn't looking at me and continued to my dorm.

Sho was sitting on the bed with his leg bouncing. "Aniki!"

"Sho!" I said imitating his excitement.

"Tell me!"

I cocked a brow. "Tell you what?"

"What happened between you and Johan. I kept asking Jim and Asuka and they said to ask you, so what happened?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing. Why are freaking out over it?"

"Because I _wanna know!_"

I rolled my eyes. "We just got off on the wrong foot is all."

He narrowed his eyes. "Details, Judai, details!"

I huffed. "Ok. So in first period I tried to start a conversation with him. He glared and pretty much told me to fuck off. So I got mad at him but then we sorta, kinda made up at the lunch table but not really."

"That last bit didn't make any sense. You kinda, sorta, not really made up…? What is it? Did you make up or not?"

"Kinda."

"Judai! Yes or no?"

"Both."

"What?"

Again, I rolled my eyes. "Ok, so Johan apologized for what he did. But then he said that I fidgeted a lot and that hurt my feelings a little. So, we kinda sorta made up."

He shook his head. "I'll never understand you."

I laughed and started on my homework…ugh. No. I'd just leave it.

"Aren't you gonna do your homework?" Sho asked.

"Nope," I said popping the 'p'.

He sighed. "I repeat: I'll never understand you."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my Nintendo DS and started playing.

**Sorry, this chapter was a little short. I hoped you all enjoyed it anyways. Review plz!**

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	7. Jealousy

**EEEEP! Chapter 7! Lol I think this is one of my favorite chapters to write. I find it kind of amusing but that's just me. And I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was busy studying for midterms ugh it was horrible. At least it's over now haha ****Well, now that I've bored you to tears with my ridiculous problems, I'll start now**

**Song:**

**Fuck You by Cee Lo Green**

**Johan's POV**

It was Friday and I was sitting in the last period of the day. Music.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely _love_ this class but I seriously could not wait until the weekend.

"Ok guys," the teacher started. "I like to do things a little bit differently on Fridays."

Everyone glanced at each other as they giggled and whispered.

"On Fridays, I like to have thing call Free Music. It's when everyone sits on this stool here," she said as she gestured to the one next to her, "and just plays music. It can be something we learned or it can be something by someone else. It doesn't matter. Just play."

"So, this is kind of like a free period?" someone asked.

"Yep. Begin!"

Everyone went up in twos. One would either be playing the piano or the guitar as the second person sang. And I swear, I heard another Kelly Clarkson song, I'd shoot myself.

Just as one of the couples finished A Moment Like This, Mrs. Shields stood from her desk.

"Well we've got time for one more, who hasn't gone yet?" she asked lightly.

Everyone turned toward me.

"Johan, would you like to go up?"

Who was I to pass that up? I'd show everyone what real music was. It wasn't just Kelly Clarkson, I'll tell you that.

I sat on the stool and readied my acoustic guitar and started playing the lullaby my mother used to play to me when I couldn't sleep. It was the first thing I learned how to play.

The song was a bit repetitive but it was still beautiful.

I could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that they were close to falling asleep which almost made me laugh but I continued to play.

When I finished, everyone's eyes looked swollen from exhaustion.

Mrs. Shields rubbed her hand over her face and pulled her long brown hair into a ponytail. "Nice job, Johan. Alright kids!" she said loudly so everyone was awake. "Have a great weekend."

I had finished packing my guitar and was about to leave when Mrs. Shields called me back in.

"Johan? Stay for a couple of minutes, I'd like to talk to you."

I leaned my guitar against the wall and walked to the desk.

"Grab that stool over there and have a seat."

So I did, though I worried if I was in trouble or not.

"Don't worry, you aren't in trouble," she said as if reading my mind. "I just wanted to tell you that you've got talent."

I smiled. "Thanks, Mrs. Shields."

Her eyes narrowed. "Now you know I hate it when my students call me that. Call me Alice."

"Thanks, Alice," I corrected.

She put her hand on my shoulder. "How long have you been playing, darling?"

I stopped to think. "Um, I think I started with the ukulele at four. So if you count that, fifteen years."

Her eyes widened. "Wow, that's amazing. Can you play any other instruments?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I can play a little piano too."

"You truly are an astounding kid, Johan."

I smiled again.

"Do you write music? I don't think I've ever heard that song before?"

I nodded. "I do but that was actually my mother's. She wrote it for me."

She gasped. "That's so sweet. Can I see some of your writing?"

It was then that I remembered. "Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed.

"What?" she asked.

"I left it out my house, in Hiroshima! Crap!"

"Well that's alright. If you really want to, I'll wait,"

My eyes widened. "Really?"

"Mmhm," she hummed. "I can find something to amuse myself with."

"Thanks, Alice! I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Don't rush, Johan, it's raining!" she called after me. "Drive carefully!"

I laughed. "I will!"

Once I was in the parking lot, I put on my helmet this time and started riding. I figured if I hurried, I could make it back in maybe four hours? But that'd really be pushing it. And that idea was ruined when I arrived at the house and found out it took three hours just to get here.

I huffed and hurried out of the rain and into the house. After sprinting up the stairs, taking two at a time, I reached my room and found the book lying on the bed so I snatched it and got back on my bike.

I was just about to pull out onto the street when a car zipped by me and almost ran me over. So to get my revenge, I went to run in front of him. But is stopped when I saw that in the passenger seat was Judai.

The man who was driving couldn't be any older than me. And the way Judai was smiling at him made my blood boil.

Jealousy and anger flooded through me.

The driver looked over at me and narrowed his eyes and zoomed up so he was only a couple of inches ahead of me. So of course, I did the same. And that started the race.

The rain was getting heavier and I was glad that Yusei's helmet was tinted black so Judai couldn't see me. He'd never go out with me if he figured out I was the maniac who tried to get himself killed.

When the driver went faster, so did I. It didn't take long before we were both going as fast as our vehicles would allow.

As I looked over, I saw that I was winning. But then when I looked back up, my heart literally stopped for a second.

Yusei was standing there and I was only mere seconds away from running him over. So I hit the breaks hard which made me skid along the wet roads until I finally put my foot down and stopped myself from spinning.

I looked back up but he wasn't there anymore. Was I insane? I mean, what the hell was that?

Pushing the thoughts aside, I looked around and noticed that I was right around the corner from DA. I guess my goal of getting back in four hours wasn't so hopeless.

After parking my bike in the lot, I went back inside the building carrying my book with me. I figured playing a few songs with Alice, I'd feel better.

I reentered her room and saw her still there.

"Did you find it?" she asked.

I nodded as a soft smile began to form. Just thinking about music made me feel better.

We only played the songs in the first half of the book because the second half was filled with songs for Yusei and grieving songs. I wasn't ready to open up to anyone yet.

When eleven struck, I bid Alice a good night and then made my way back to my dorm.

I was about to get in bed start at least _part_ of my homework when the phone rang.

I answered it as I went digging for my history textbook. "Hello?"

"Johan, did you just come in?" Asuka asked.

I sat up straight. "What are you, a stalker?"

She paused and I just _knew_ she was rolling her eyes. "No, idiot. I'm staying in Jim's room tonight and I heard your door close. Now will you answer my question."

I sighed. "Fine, nosey. Yes, I just got in. Why does that matter?"

"What were you doing?" she asked.

"Playing music."

"With who?"

"With Alice."

She gasped. "Oh! Who's Alice? Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, Asuka! She's my music teacher."

"You call your music teacher _Alice_?"

"She asked us to."

"Yeah, right. I bet it's your girlfriend."

"Asuka, I'm gay!"

She was silent for a moment. "Oh, yeah."

I rolled my eyes. "Nice."

"Shut up! Well, I'm gonna go now."

"'Kay, have a nice screw," I teased.

"Johan Anderson!" she scolded. I heard her yelling through the receiver as I held the phone away from my ear and shook my head as I laughed silently. Then I hung up.

I had only gotten history and math done when my eyes began to droop. So I put them back into my bag and went to sleep. I had a dreamless dream for once. It was peaceful.

**Ok, sorry. I know it's another short chapter. I hoped you guys enjoyed it anyhow.**

**Review plz!**


	8. Sharing Emotions

…**I'm running out if cool introductions…let's just get on with it…**

**Song:**

**Don't Let The Sun Go Down by Elton John**

**Judai's POV**

The next morning, (which was Friday, thank God) I woke up to the sound of my phone beeping. And considering it was _five whole minutes_ from when I was supposed to wake up, I was a little peeved.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, a little harder than necessary, I snatched my phone off of the nightstand and growled when I saw it was a text from my mother. Of course. She was always the culprit when it came to waking me up way to damn early.

I sighed and read the stupid thing and rolled my eyes when I did.

_Happy birthday!_ it said. _I heart u!_ How lame could you possibly get?

And instead of replying, I pretended to still be asleep.

I had almost forgotten it was my birthday. Usually, I was excited but I just didn't feel it this year. A certain green-eyed beauty was still in my mind.

I groaned and tried to shake the thoughts away. Ever since I saw him sitting at the staircase, I couldn't stop worrying about him. What could have happened to make him so broken (for lack of a better word)?

Was it abuse? Heartbreak? Loss?

_Death?_

I shook my head violently and squeezed my eyes shut. Johan wasn't going to die. He couldn't. You wanna know why? Because I wouldn't allow it. He'd most definitely hear from me once I saw him again.

But I couldn't help but think that if he actually was dying…what exactly would I do to keep him alive? If it was something like cancer, I knew it was inevitable.

"Judai-kun?"

I tiredly moved my head to look at the short boy to see he was lying on his stomach with his feet swinging back and forth in the air.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "You look upset."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just tired, I guess."

"You guess?"

I glared at him so he knew not to push my buttons.

"Ok, ok, I'll back off." He was quiet for a second and I began to drift back off to a nice slumber when he exclaimed, "Oh!"

I jumped back awake and looked at Sho with wide eyes.

"Happy birthday, I almost forgot."

I chuckled at that. I had almost forgotten as well. But of course I wasn't gonna say that out loud. That would just earn me a super long lecture about how I should enjoy the day that I was given birth on, yaddah, yaddah. At least that's what my dad always says when I say something like that to my mom.

I closed my eyes again and figured I could catch those five minutes my lovely mother had nicely ruined for me.

I was literally on the brink of unconsciousness when my alarm decided to go off then.

"Shit!" I yelled angrily which made Sho laugh.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

Over the next few hours, the term, "Happy birthday" and "Sorry, I didn't get you anything" was really starting to irk me.

And now, Sho, Asuka, Ryo and Jim were all in my dorm debating on what game to play.

I had told them that I didn't need a mini party but they refused. But like I said, I wasn't all that into it this year.

I was supposed to be helping choose what game to play but I was absentmindedly sketching into my notebook.

I could faintly hear Asuka's voice in the background, but I was too busy getting every angle straight and precise.

Asuka's voice was a little louder this time but I still wasn't paying attention.

"JUDAI!" she screamed

My eyes snapped up. "WHAT?" I said in the same loud voice.

She only glared at me. "What's up with you today?" she asked. "I mean, it's your birthday!"

Here we go, I thought.

"What could possibly be distracting you other than the fact that it's your birthday?" she asked exasperatedly.

_Johan_ a voice in my head answered. But I only shrugged.

She sighed irately. "Fine. Because you're the birthday boy, I won't question you. I'll cut you some slack."

Everyone gasped dramatically which Asuka just rolled her eyes at.

"But can I ask what you were drawing?" she asked.

"I dunno," I answered truthfully. I looked down at my drawing to give her a better answer and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw what was there.

It was a sketch of Johan.

"What is it, mate?" Jim asked.

My eyes were wide with fear, trying desperately to think of a lie. But when I never answered, the aussi jumped up to look but I had already snapped it shut and sat on it.

Then right out of the blue, a nervous fart squeezed itself out of me and went right on the notebook.

Everyone cringed and made an "ew" sound.

"Never mind," Jim said. "You can keep that."

I blushed in embarrassment.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER**

It was nearly five, and I was already dressed and ready for my parents to come pick me up. We had agreed to celebrate and go out for dinner instead of eating the same old thing here in Duel Academia.

"Judai, is that really what you're going to wear?" Asuka asked while looking at the school uniform. "I mean, you're not gonna dress up or anything?"

I shook my head. "Don't feel like it."

They all looked at me like I was nuts.

"You sure you're alright, mate?" Jim asked. "You seem a little dull considering it's your birthday."

I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter to me."

"You know, the people who say that always mean the exact opposite," Ryo commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, either you're wrong or I'm different because I honestly don't really care about my birthday."

I heard him mumble something but I didn't worry about it. The only thing I was truly thinking about was that special bluenette that couldn't seem to leave my mind.

His face was contorted like he was concentrating on something. And then he'd lay his head back and close his eyes. I just knew it was a cry of desperation. But who was he calling to? I wanted to believe it was me but it just seemed so unrealistic. He barely knew me and I barely knew him.

But then again, we knew so much about each other. I knew that he was in love with music. I knew that music was his way of communicating. I knew that people misunderstood him because he's so intimidating. I knew that deep down, he was sweet and caring.

I barely knew him, yet I knew _all_ of him.

A knock at the door pulled me back to reality.

I sighed and turned to my friends. "That's my parents."

They all smiled and wished me a happy birthday _again_ before I left with my Dad. Mom was still at home deciding on what to wear, of course.

"Happy birthday, son," Dad said as he ruffled my hair.

I tried my best not to growl and faked a smile. "Thanks."

Dad's smile faded a little. "What's the matter?"

I sighed. It seemed everyone could tell there was something on my mind. Was I _that_ transparent?

"Judai?" he asked again.

"I don't know," I said a little more harshly than I meant to. "Everyone keeps asking me that and I'm sorry, but it's really starting to work my nerves."

He furrowed his brow. "Well _is_ there something wrong?" he asked. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

I nodded. "I know that. And there isn't anything wrong, really. I just…" I let my voice trail off, not knowing how to put my feelings into words.

"What is it?" Dad pushed.

"It just…doesn't feel right," I finally said. "Like there's something missing. I mean, it doesn't even feel like my birthday. Just like a regular day and it's a little disappointing."

"Ah," he said. "I know that feeling."

"Well, would you mind explaining it to me?" I asked. I was really tired of guessing. I just wanted to know so I could change it. It'd be so much easier on my friends and myself.

"You're growing up," he said.

I cocked a brow. "I thought growing up was supposed to feel good?"

He smiled sadly. "Hate to break it to ya kid, but it's not."

I sighed. "Well is there any way I can grow _down_?"

He laughed so hard, I prepared myself to take over the wheel in case Dad lost control.

"No, sorry, I don't think so."

I huffed and crossed my arms. "Well that sucks."

He chuckled. "Yes. It does."

We were almost halfway home when a motorcycle pulled up next to us. I couldn't tell what exactly it looked like because it was raining too hard. I guess I was so into my conversation with Dad, I hadn't noticed the rain start.

As my dad looked over, I saw him smirk and the idea of competition light up in his eyes. Now normally, I wouldn't try to stop him. But it was dark and raining. Maybe when it was light and not raining? You know, just taking a wild guess here.

"Dad?" I asked cautiously.

His smile widened as he gripped the wheel tighter. "Don't worry son," he said taking my cautiousness as excitement. "I got him."

I was about to protest, but he had already begun by picking up his speed slightly and then stopping so he was only a few inches ahead of the motorcycle.

The biker zoomed forward as well.

It was then, my dad decided to stomp on the gas.

We were zipping down the street, the bike not too far behind. He eventually caught up to us and we were neck and neck for a good while.

"Dad, we're gonna get in trouble," I said with a shaky voice.

He laughed. "By who? I don't see anyone here?" So he kept driving but I just _knew_ we were going to die.

So we kept racing.

We were going so fast, the rain was pounding on our windshield as if someone were using a hammer to try to break the glass.

"Dad," I said, my voice shaking horribly, "I really think we should stop. What if we crash?"

He didn't answer. He only kept driving.

I looked over to the biker, his face hidden by his helmet. Then suddenly, he stopped but I couldn't even tell what happened because Dad was still speeding.

He disappeared out of my sight immediately and I couldn't tell if he was alright or not.

"Oh yeah!" he cheered. "We won! Judai, we won!" He went on like we had won the Super bowl.

He slowed down much to my pleasure and finally pulled into our driveway.

Mom skipped out then and forced me into the back like always. I mean _come on_. I'm turning eighteen for crying out loud! I'm legally an adult. You'd think I'd be able to sit in the front seat. But _noooooo_. I have to sit in the freaking backseat. If Mom had everything her way, she'd strap me into the baby car seat. But to _hell_ with that. There was no way I was sitting in that damn thing.

"Happy birthday, sweetie!" my mom said.

I rolled my eyes. "You already told me that this morning."

"I know but I wanted to tell you again."

I groaned.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 43VER**

At the restaurant, we barely ate. Mom and Dad were too busy shoving presents in my face.

I had gotten a new duel disk, (and I use the term new very loosely, it was actually out of date by a year and a half.) some new dueling cards that would make my deck unbalanced if anything and a chocolate bar. Well, that one wasn't so bad.

And when they were done giving presents, we skipped dinner and went straight to desert. They ordered a cake for fifty and there were only three of us. I still don't know how we ate it all.

I groaned and leaned back and unbuttoned my jeans. "I'm stuffed."

"Us too."

After looking at the time, I saw it was already nine thirty. It was then I remembered that none of the students weren't allowed to be off campus until ten.

I faked a yawn. "I'm kinda tired. Can we go?"

"Sure, sweetie."

So we got back into the car and Dad drove me back to DA. But of course it was almost midnight by then.

I said goodbye to my parents and tried to close the car door as quietly as possible.

There was no one out so I thought I'd be able to sneak back into my dorm without getting caught.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing here?" someone said with a thick Brooklyn accent.

Damn, I thought wrong.

I turned around to see two guards staring at me.

"Ya know, you can get in serious trouble."

"No, I'm a student here," I tried to explain.

"Don't matter. You comin with us."

They grabbed both of my arms and started dragging me to God knows where until I heard a familiar voice.

"Wait!"

They stopped and turned around. I did the same.

And there was standing Johan, still in his school uniform. "He's with me."

"Yeah, then I guess we better take ya too."

He groaned audibly. "No, I mean I sent him out here to get something for me." He scratched the back of his head nervously before saying, "I uh, lost my keys to my motorcycle and thought they'd still be in the ignition."

The guards were quiet as they thought.

I had counted to 100 before they finally decided to let me go.

"Don't let it happen again."

"It won't," said Johan. "C'mon, Ju-chan."

My breath hitched. He had called me Ju-chan. They way he said it made my whole body tingle.

He led me to his dorm with his hand on the small of my back.

We sat down on his bed and I picked at my clothes, trying to look busy.

"So, what were you actually doing out there?" Johan asked.

I looked up and saw his bright green eyes. I don't think I've ever seen them so close. I was close to slipping into oblivion until I remembered that I still haven't answered his question.

"Um, I went out with my parents."

He smiled. "Oh. What's the occasion?"

"Huh?"

"The occasion. What, you just decided to go out to a fancy restaurant for nothing?"

I laughed nervously. "Uh, no. Um, we went out because it was uh…"

"What?" Johan asked while laughing a little. "Is it really that embarrassing?"

It really wasn't but I still blushed. "It's my birthday."

His eyes widened. "Really?"

I nodded.

He then smiled. "Well, happy birthday, then."

When Johan said it, it didn't annoy me like it did with everyone else. I actually smiled. I didn't have to fake it. The fact of being acknowledged by him made me feel special.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I smiled and went to lean back but instead felt something hard against my hand.

Turning to look, I saw it was Johan's guitar.

"Sorry." He stretched to move it out of my way and kept it in his lap.

"Do you play anything else?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I can play a little bit of piano."

"Really? That's so cool!"

He laughed. "Guess so."

"Will you play for me some time?" I asked.

"How about right now? I mean, I have my keyboard. It won't sound exactly the same but it's close enough."

I gasped. "Please, please, please!" I begged.

He chuckled. "Ok, ok, hold on." He got up and went to grab the keyboard out of the closet.

He sat back down next to me and turned it on.

The intro of an Elton John song came on as he pressed down on the keys.

"_I can't light no more of your darkness"_

"_All my pictures seem to fade to black and white"_

"_I'm growing tired and time stands before me"_

"_Frozen here on the ladder of my life"_

His voice was beautiful. I've heard a couple of Elton John songs since my mom was a big fan so I was familiar with this song. I just couldn't help but think that all the songs I've heard him play have something to do with the way he's feeling. If only I knew the details.

"_Too late to save myself from falling"_

"_I took a chance and changed your way of life"_

"_But you misread my meaning when I met you"_

"_Closed the door and left me blinded by the light"_

Was that what he actually thought? That I was upset with him? Well, I mean I was but I didn't know it'd have such an impact on him. I felt so guilty.

"_Don't let the sun go down on me"_

"_Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see"_

"_I just allow a fragment of you life to wander free"_

"_But losin' everything is like the sun's going down on me"_

You could not only hear, but see the pain written all over his face. I wanted to help, I did. I just didn't know how. I didn't even know what happened. But how do you approach that in a conversation?

"_Oh, um, ya know, just wandering, has anything tragic happened to you at all? Just curious?"_

Yeah, I think not.

Johan continued to play and sing as I mouthed the lyrics that I knew.

When he finished, there were tears in my eyes and I tried hard not to let them show but it was no match for the European.

"What's the matter?" he asked as his brows furrowed together with worry.

I pursed my lips and shook my head.

"C'mon, Judai, you can tell me."

I sighed and wiped my eyes. "Nothing, it's just…it's just a sad song." It wasn't a complete lie. It _was_ a sad song. That's just not the reason I was all teary-eyed.

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is a sad song." It was like he was talking more to himself than me.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Um, I think I should head back to my dorm now." I stood up but Johan grabbed my arm gently which made me stop and turn to him.

"No, you'll get caught by the guards again, I'm sure of it. Just sleep here for the night."

I would love to stay here but what about him? Would it be weird for him?

"A-are you sure?" I asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Of course. You take the bed. I'll take the couch in the living room."

I shook my head. "No. I'm not kicking you out of your own bed."

"You're not, I'm offering."

I narrowed my eyes. "Johan, just take the _effing_ bed."

He lifted a brow. "Do you honestly think you scare me?"

I crossed my arms and huffed. "Why must you always have the last word?"

"Because I'm stubborn and want you to sleep in the bed."

"But I want _you_ to sleep in the bed," I whined.

He sighed, finally realizing that I wasn't budging. "Fine. We'll both sleep in the bed.

I froze. Was this good information or bad?

"Are you sure?" I repeated.

Johan rolled his eyes. "If I wasn't I wouldn't have suggested it."

I tried to hide my smile as I said, "Ok."

"Alright. I'm gonna go change. Do you need an extra pair of pajamas or something? They might be a little big on you though."

As much as I wanted to say yes, I shook my head. "No, that's fine."

He shrugged and walked into his dresser and pulled out some sleepwear. He turned back to me nervously.

"What?" I asked.

"Uh, I can't really um…undress with you…standing there."

My eyes widened. "Oh! Right. Sorry." In my hurry to leave I ran myself into the wall. Shifting slightly to the left, I opened the door and went out into the hallway and into the living room blushing about ten shades of red.

I took off my jacket and shoes and froze when I reached my pants. Would that be too much? But how do you sleep in jeans, I mean really. Let's be realistic here.

"Judai?"

I turned to see him wearing a wife beater and boxers. His pectorals stuck out beautifully as did his abdomen and biceps.

"You ok?" he asked.

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah."

"Ok, just checking. I'll be here when you're ready."

I nodded again, not trusting my voice.

He closed the door again and I quickly took off my pants…wow, never thought I'd hear myself say that.

I made my way back into his room and curled up into the blankets and closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come.

It never did.

I tried my best not to toss and turn for Johan's sake.

After almost fifteen minutes of pure torture, I sighed audibly.

I felt Johan turn. "Judai?"

I shifted myself so I could look at him. "You're still awake?" I asked.

He nodded. "I'm not tired anymore."

I giggled. "Me neither."

"What should we do?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"I play."

I got up and grabbed his guitar and handed it to him. "Then play."

He took the guitar and started playing a tune that I wasn't familiar with. He didn't sing, he only played. Played and played and played until my eyes started to droop.

Johan smiled. "Lie down, Ju-chan."

There was that name again. His little nickname for me. When he called me that, I didn't have a choice but to obey him.

I made myself comfortable on the bed and closed my eyes and listened to the music as it echoed softly through the room.

Slowly, I slipped into unconsciousness and dreamed of none other than Johan Anderson.

**And that's chapter 8! I hoped you all enjoyed it! I had so much fun writing it. Mostly because I got to do and Elton John song. He's so amazing! And I get to go to his concert in March! EEEEEEP! I'm so excited but kinda disappointed that I have to wait a month and a half. Oh well, it'll come eventually.**

**Well, I'm gonna stop ranting now lol review plz!**

**l**

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	9. Surprise!

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated. Sorry about that lol. But I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways!**

**Songs: Ours by The Bravery (Yeah, I know it's off of the Twilight soundtrack, so what?)**

**Something To Believe In by Parachute**

**Johan's POV**

I was in my room playing around with my guitar, trying to write a song. I had the chorus down and now I was working on the intro. My fingers moved without me telling them to, like they knew the notes the wanted to play.

I had opened my mouth, ready to add some lyrics when I heard voices outside.

Looking out the window, I saw a couple of security guards dragging some kid by the arms while the boy tried to convince them to let him go.

His messy brown hair looked familiar. It wasn't until he turned his head, I knew who it was.

Snatching my jacket out of my closet, I literally jumped down the staircase, nearly spraining my ankle in the process and ran outside.

"Wait!" I called.

The three of them turned around to look at me.

I took a moment to catch my breath before I spoke.

"He's with me."

The guards looked at each other and then back at me. One of them said, "Yeah, then I guess we better take ya too."

I rolled my eyes. Really? How idiotic did these guys have to be? I mean, did they not see the uniform Judai was wearing? Honestly. "No, I mean I sent him out here to get something for me." Before I knew it, I was scratching the back of my head, even though it didn't itch. It was a nervous habit of mine. That and biting my nails. "I lost the keys to my motorcycle and thought they'd still be hanging in the ignition." That was good right? Yeah, I think so. Score for Johan.

The guards stared at me, as if they could see the lie which made me nervous. I could feel balls of sweat begin to form around my hair line as I tried my hardest not to twitch or reach to bite my nails. I had to stand confident, like I knew what I was talking about. But oh my gosh! I really think they can tell! Shit! What do I do? CRAAAAAAAAAP.

Finally, they pushed Judai away from them and we both heaved a sigh of relief.

"Don't let it happen again," the guard said.

Again, I rolled my eyes. "It won't. C'mon, Ju-chan." The name had slipped out before I could stop it but he didn't protest so I guessed it was ok.

I lead him to my room and closed my notebook and pushed the guitar away so we could sit.

What now? Oh man, that was awkward.

"So, what were you actually doing out there?" I asked, letting my curiosity get the best of me.

After we passed five minutes of stalling (all on Judai's part of course) I found out it was his birthday.

I wished him a happy birthday and the smile on his face lit his whole face up and made me smile as well. I would do anything to keep that smile on his face.

So, when he asked me if I could play the piano for him sometime, I said yes. I pulled out my keyboard (yes, I know it's not as good as a piano but it was close enough).

And for the first time in a very, very long time, I showed someone what I was feeling. Sure, it wasn't everything but it was a piece. Before, I had to wait at least a year just to play for Jim but with Judai, it was different. Like I didn't have anything to hide from him. I could be honest with him.

Even though I didn't write the song, it was pretty close to how I felt. So I played it. But the songs that I did write were way more depressing than this one. I wasn't sure if I was ready to let Judai see them yet.

When I had finished, I saw the tears in his eyes and I instantly felt guilty. Yeah, Judai was not ready to see my songs yet. If this puny song made him cry then the others would break him.

(A/N: No, I am not calling Elton John's awesomely awesome song puny. It's just a word that helps describe how depressing the other songs were.)

Then I suggested that we call it a night and get some sleep. Of course then we argued over who got the bed. I won. Sort of.

We decided to split the bed in half so we both got to sleep in it. Oh yeah! Another point for Johan Anderson!

Judai had trouble sleeping so I played my guitar until his beautiful eyes fluttered shut and his breathing deepened.

I put my guitar back in its case and picked up my cell phone and dialed Asuka's number, not caring it was almost two in the morning.

"Mm, whaya want Yo-Yo?" she mumbled.

I chuckled. "Why hello, Asuka."

"Don't fuck with me, Yo-Yo," she said a little more clearly.

I scoffed. "Can't a guy get any respect around here?"

"Anderson Johan, if you don't tell me right now why you're calling me at ungodly hours, I'll come over there and personally kick your ass."

"Ok, ok. The reason I called is because I wanted to throw Judai a birthday party."

"Right now?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, dimwit. Tomorrow."

She sighed. "This couldn't wait until the morning."

I glared, perfectly aware that she couldn't see it. "No."

She groaned. "Fine. What should we do?"

"Um, I dunno. Whatever happened at the last party. You know, something to show him that we appreciate him."

"I thought you didn't like him."

Agitated, I tugged at my hair. "I never said that!"

"Uh-huh. But ok, I agree with you this one time. I'll get the rest of the guys to help us out too."

"Great. I'll see you in the morning, Asuka."

"Ok." She yawned and then bid me a goodnight as did I.

I snapped my phone shut and plugged it in on my charger before snuggling in bed next to Judai. With him next to me, my nightmares were nowhere to be found.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The next morning, I woke up before Judai. So I quietly slipped out of bed and grabbed my guitar. After settling myself in the living room, I tried to finish the song I planned on playing at Judai's party.

When I finished, it was almost noon. Peeking back inside my room, Judai was still sleeping. Shaking my head incredulously, I made my way to the kitchen and started brunch (pancakes and eggs, can't go wrong with that).

By the time it was finished, Judai had woken up and wandered into the kitchen.

"It smells good in here," he commented.

I nodded. "I would hope so," I laughed.

Judai ate his food at an incredible speed. I wasn't even half way done before he was finished.

"I'm guessing you were hungry," I laughed.

He blushed. "Yeah, kinda."

I chuckled and continued eating.

When I was finished, I took both of our plates and placed them into the dishwasher after rinsing them off.

Looking at the time, I realized I had to leave soon to help set Judai's party up. "Uh, Judai?"

He looked up.

"I have some errands to run so I um-"

"You need me to leave?" he asked.

Well, that's one way of putting. "Um, kinda. I'm sorry. It's just-"

Again he interrupted me with a laugh. "It's no big deal. Sho must be wondering where I am anyway. Thanks for letting me stay the night."

"Your welcome. I'll see you later," I said as he left.

"See ya."

Waiting until I was sure Judai was back in his dorm, I went out to my motorcycle and was off.

First, I went to get the decorations. They were a bit childish but I knew he'd like them anyway. Then I made my way back to the dorm.

Asuka was in the corner texting while Jim and Sho were hanging up the decorations.

"Um, Asuka, it'd be nice if you pitched in as well," I said, trying not to sound bitchy. Though I failed miserably.

"Shut up, asshole," she retorted. "I'm telling everyone to come to the Blue Dorm for Judai's party."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

I growled at her which only made her smile.

"Can the two of you stop bickering and help us?" Sho asked.

I pulled out the decorations that I bought and grabbed one of the ladders and started hanging stuff up. Then I started blowing up balloons with the helium blower thing-a-ma-jig.

I was in the middle of blowing up the last balloon when people started showing up.

Looking at the time, I realized it was two hours away before the party started. So I told everyone I'd be back with the cake soon and then hopped onto my bike again.

It took me a little over an hour to get there so I knew I'd be a couple minutes late.

Sighing anxiously, I bought the cake and was racing back to DA.

I could already hear the music playing by the time I got there.

Grabbing the cake, I silently walked in and lit the candles quickly and pushed myself through the crowd, singing the birthday song.

Everyone pitched in when they heard me.

When the song finished, Judai blew out the candles after making a wish.

We gave Judai the first piece of course and then everyone else who wanted one got one.

As we all ate cake, songs played, the bass making everything in the room vibrate.

After a few songs played, a few kids went to try out the karaoke. Some were good but most of them…wow. That's all I have to say about that.

Once the fifth worst singer of the world finished the song, Asuka pushed me up to the stage to save everyone before their ears began to bleed.

After hooking up my guitar to the amp and fixing the microphone, I began to play the song that I had written just for Judai.

"_After tonight,"_

"_Who knows where we'll be tomorrow"_

"_What if we're never here again?"_

"_After tonight,"_

"_This will be a lifetime ago"_

"_So let's stay up until the sky bleeds rain!"_

"_And we'll stop, stop, stop the world from moving"_

"_Stop, stop, stop the clocks from turning"_

"_Stop this night from fading away"_

"_This time is ours!"_

"_If I could hold this moment in my hands"_

"_I'd stop the world from moving"_

"_I'd stop the clock from turning"_

"_This time is ours!"_

"_inside a frozen memory of us"_

"_And we are motionless, motionless"_

My eyes were glued to Judai. I didn't care if anyone noticed. I just couldn't look away. And I wanted him to know that this song was for him, no one but him.

When I finished the song, I said, "Does the birthday boy want to try the karaoke machine?"

Everyone looked at him but he didn't respond. It was like he was in a daze.

"Judai, Judai, Judai!" I chanted. Soon everyone was screaming his name. Eventually, he had no choice but to come up.

He told Asuka what song he wanted and then stood up to the mic.

"_You wake up every morning looking for your reason"_

"_You're waiting for your sign"_

"_While Jeremiah is on his way to tell the people"_

"_But you watch him pass you by"_

"_You spend the days alone to hope for a show"_

"_But you don't want to try"_

"_You swear the world has you backed into a corner"_

"_But no one holds your hand to walk into a fight"_

"_You swear the light is going to find you"_

"_But it can't find you if you're waiting all the time"_

"_You say, 'keep my head from going down,'"_

"_Just for a little, just for a little"_

"_Watch my feet float off the ground"_

"_Just for a little, just for a little"_

"_A little love if you can hear this sound"_

"_Oh just give me something"_

"_Something to believe in!"_

By the end of the song, Judai had everyone singing along with him and jumping.

When he finished, everyone clapped as he hopped off the stage a little flustered. I would be too if I was up there jumping and singing for four minutes.

Everyone was on top of him patting his back and complimenting him on how good he was.

When they gave Judai more breathing space, I wrapped him in my arms and squeezed him gently. "Happy belated birthday, Ju-chan."

He smiled. "Thanks. This party is awesome."

"I'm glad you like it."

The party didn't end until a little after midnight. I was beat. I was close to just collapsing on the floor and falling asleep there.

I gave Judai one last smile before he left the dorm.

"I have to admit, this was a great last minute party," Asuka said nodding in approval.

I smirked. "Thanks."

Sho yawned. "Well, enjoyed the party. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, Sho!" we all said.

"Oh, crap."

We all turned to look at Ryou.

"I forgot to ask Judai what it felt like to be legal age."

While everyone groaned in disgust, I laughed.

"You're such a perv!"

He shrugged and made his way to his room.

I sighed and wiped my eyes tiredly. "Well, I'm gonna call it a night. Thanks for helping with the party guys,"

"No problem, mate."

I threw myself onto my bed and smiled when I realized that the right side of the bed still smelled like Judai.

I snuggled up against the pillow that he used and breathed deeply. It was like he was still there.

It was then that I realized that I was in love with Yuki Judai.

Oh man, was I in deep shit.


	10. Confessions

**Hello people on computers. Back for more, I see lol jk I hope you guys are ready for another great chapter, if I do say so myself. Haha enjoy!**

**Song: Enchanted by Taylor Swift**

**Judai's POV**

I didn't wake up the next morning (or maybe afternoon would be more accurate) until 12:30. I turned on to my side to find no one was there on the other half of the bed.

Finally opening my eyes, I found out my hypothesis was correct. Johan was gone. I almost let disappointment take over me when I smelled something so wonderful, my eyes almost rolled back.

I got up and saw Johan placing our breakfast on the table.

"It smells good in here," I said announcing my presence.

"I would hope so," Johan laughed as he looked at me.

I sat down at the table and started eating. I think it tasted better than it smelled. Not even my mom could cook better than this. It was amazing. I hadn't realized how fast I was eating it until I was finished.

"I'm guessing you were hungry," Johan commented which caused me to blush a dark shade of red.

"Yeah, kinda," I said. I tried turning my head slightly to hide my blush but it probably made me look like an idiot. And then I sat there awkwardly, not sure what to do or say while Johan finished his breakfast.

I was relieved when he finished and took our plates to the dishwasher. Jeez, the Blue Dorm had everything.

"Um Judai?" Johan sounded nervous which rubbed off on me as my heartbeat quickened.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I have some errands to run and uh-"

"You need me to leave?" I hadn't meant for it to sound like that but I couldn't help it. I hated being away from him and lately, that seems like all the time with school and stuff…ok so maybe it's not _all_ the time but without Johan next to me, time seems ten times longer than usual.

"Well, kinda. I'm sorry, it's just-"

"It's fine," I said quickly fixing my moment of rudeness. "It's not that big of a deal. I'm sure Sho is wondering where I am anyway," I said remembering I left him all alone in our dorm last night. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"You're welcome." He walked me to the door. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Bye, Johan."

"See ya, Ju-chan."

There was that name again. It did strange things to me.

When I got back to our dorm, Sho was at my throat with questions.

"Where were you last night? What were you doing and why wasn't I informed you would be gone for the whole freaking night?"

I laughed. "Sho, calm down. I was the Blue Dorm last night."

"Why?"

"So, I came back from my birthday thing with my parents late last night and the night guards were about to take me to prison or something and that's when Johan came out and pretty much saved my ass. And instead of taking me to the Red Dorm, he dragged me over to his and let me sleep there."

Sho sat there expressionless as he pieced it all together. "Well that was awfully nice of him. Did you have to bribe him?"

I rolled my eyes. "No. Why is everyone so hung up on Johan lately?" I asked maybe a little _too_ defensively.

"Why are you so protective of him all of a sudden?" he said aiming my question back at me.

I thought about that. It was because I had a thing for him. But I wasn't going to admit that. "I am not required to answer your question," I finally said.

"Neither am I," said Sho with a small smirk, knowing he had won.

I sighed and sat down on the bed. "Fine, don't answer."

I saw something change in Sho's eyes. "Ok, since I already know the answer to my own question, I'll tell you."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean, you 'already know the answer to your own question'?"

He smiled. "I know you have a crush on him. We all do. It's pretty obvious."

"Wha-No, I-I do not!" I stuttered which made Sho laugh.

"Oh my gosh! We weren't born yesterday."

"Do you think he knows?" I asked quietly.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He doesn't have a clue. For some reason your antics are oblivious to him."

I relaxed slightly. "Good."

"I just wish he's careful with you."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Judai, it's clear that Johan has a past."

I nodded.

"And I know he feels something for you too."

"Don't get my hopes up, Sho."

He growled. "I would say something to that but that's a whole other conversation for another time. Anyway, he's still attached to his past. He's not ready. I don't want him to mess this up because he gets scared or something."

"What happened that made him this way?" I asked, not able to hold in my curiosity any longer.

He frowned slightly. "I want to tell you but that's Johan's story to tell. Sorry."

"I understand." But that didn't mean I wasn't still curious. But instead of worrying about it, I decided to start my homework. Sho did the same.

We hadn't even been an hour into it before Sho's cell phone beeped.

"Oh, I've gotta go. Jim and Asuka need me for something," Sho said as he packed his things together.

"Mkay," I said too busy in trying to finish this way too hard math problem to pay attention to him.

After two hours of multiplying fraction by their reciprocals and an hour of Egyptian mythology, I decided to take a break. I mean four hours? That's gotta mean something.

So I turned on the TV and settled on watching a dueling match.

After about an hour, I was practically screaming at the TV. Both of them were making the wrong moves and I just wanted to jump in and take over but the ringing of my phone stopped me.

"Hello?" I answered slightly breathless.

"Hey, Judai," Asuka said.

"Hey, Asuka. What's up?"

"Can you come over to the Blue Dorm? I have something to show you."

"Ok, give me a minute."

"Sure."

I hung up and took a quick shower and changed into something other than our school uniform. Deciding on a black tee that said 'ZONING OUT' and some ripped up jeans, I made my way to the Blue Dorm.

When I opened the doors, it was dark. I couldn't see a thing.

"Hello?" I called.

Then the lights came on and everyone screamed, "Surprise!" so loud, I almost ran back outside and sprinted home to Mom and Dad. Then I figured out that it was a surprise party. For me. Damnit! Didn't I tell them I didn't want a party?

"Happy birthday, mate!" Jim said as he ruffled my hair.

"I thought I told you I didn't want a party," I said as I fixed my hair.

"You told us," Asuka said as she approached us. "But we didn't listen."

I rolled my eyes. "Nice."

"Well, thanks."

I crossed my arms and glared at them.

"Aw, c'mon, mate," Jim with a smile. "You can't say no to a party, can you?"

Actually I can. But I wouldn't say that. Instead of hurting their feelings, I faked a smile and said, "No, I guess I can't."

"Ha! I knew it!" Asuka cheered.

It's not like I didn't like parties. I just didn't like them when I was the center of attention. I felt like I was forced to be happy and cheerful when I actually wasn't.

So there I was forcing laughter and faking smiles, trying to pretend that I _loved_ this party. But in all honesty I hated it. It was nice of them to think of me but I had my reasons when I told them I didn't want a party. This would be one of them.

Songs played and I danced with several people and only letting my smile fade when people weren't looking.

But then I saw his face. His green eyes were bright and filled with happiness. He was carrying something wrapped in a bag and then set it on the table. I couldn't tell what he was doing but he started carrying what it was over towards us.

The music stopped suddenly and another song started to play but not from the speakers. It came from European himself. He was singing Happy Birthday, as he placed the cake on the table again and made a sign with his hand, telling me to come closer.

I stood in front of the table with everyone surrounding me.

"Make a wish," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled at him and thought of a wish. And instead of wishing for me, I wished for him.

_I wish Johan wasn't scared anymore_, I thought. Then I blew out the candles.

The people that wanted one got a piece and the others turned the music back on and continued to dance.

"Happy belated birthday, Judai."

I smiled at him. Suddenly this party didn't seem so unpleasant. "Thank you."

"So, what did I miss?"

I chuckled. "Not much."

"Good."

Johan and I cringed together as people tried out the karaoke machine. Can you say, 'tone deaf'? My god, they sounded horrible.

After the fifth worst singer ever, Johan finally stepped on stage and showed them how it was done.

I guess he sang one of the songs he had written himself since no one had heard it before.

As he sang it, his eyes occasionally came to look at me and he'd smile and I'd smile back.

When he finished, he called me up.

I rolled my eyes and told Asuka I wanted to sing and she put the CD into the player.

Half way through the song, people were singing with me and I jumped up and down on the stage like an idiot. But I couldn't help it, this song was so jumpy.

When the song ended, I the microphone back on its stand and hopped off the stage breathlessly.

People were jumping on my back and complimenting me an patting my shoulders as if we had won the super bowl.

As people began to back off, I saw Johan walking toward me. He wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. "That was really good, Ju-chan."

"Thanks. Did I ever tell you that this party is awesome?"

He laughed. "No, I don't think you've mentioned it."

"Oh, well this party is awesome."

He laughed again. "Well, it's good to know that we did a good job."

I smiled at him. It was then that started to get butterflies in my stomach and my heartbeat was so fast, I thought I would have a heart attack. My eyes watered a little, so I pulled away gently just as Sho called for Johan.

He turned and I used that time to wipe at my eyes and calm myself down. I was hopelessly in love with Johan Anderson.

The party didn't end until a little after midnight. And as I was leaving with the rest of the crowd, Johan smiled at me. I smiled back as I waved. I could've sworn that I was blushing the rest of the way back to my dorm.

Sho was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow but I couldn't get myself to be tired. My mind was echoing Johan's name and I knew it wouldn't stop until I saw him again.

I spent the next hour wondering what it would be like to have my lips against his. What it would be like to run my hands down his chest and over his stomach. What it would be like to have his hands braided into my hair as my tongue mapped out his mouth. I could've gone further but I was interrupted by an obnoxious vibration under my pillow.

I picked up my phone and saw there was a text from Johan.

_Are you awake?_

I smiled as I replied. _**No, I'm sleep texting.**_

_Really? I didn't know that was possible. Do you have an obsession that I'm not aware of?_

_**Shut up, Johan. Why are you texting people at one o'clock in the morning?**_

_I'm not texting people. I'm texting you._

_**Then why are you texting me?**_

_Because I'm lonely. Can you come over?_

My body stiffened with excitement. _**If I get caught by the night guards, I'm blaming you**_.

_That's ok. I'll just deny it._

_**Ass**_.

I quietly got out of bed and snuck out. I tip-toed about halfway there until I saw the guards.

Hiding behind the wall that was attached to the Ra Yellow dorm, I waited for them to turn around before I sprinted over to the other side.

They were still turned around, so I went to the door only to find that it was locked. Of course.

"Psst!"

I looked over and saw Johan climbing down a tree.

Looking at the guards again, I quickly went to where he was.

He turned so his back was facing me. "Hop on," he whispered.

"What?"

"Just do it."

So I got onto his back and he started to climb the tree again.

"Johan, why didn't you just wait by the door so when I got there, you could open it for me?" I asked.

"This way is more fun," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "And more dangerous."

He smiled. "Danger's my middle name." He set me down on a branch. "Wait here."

I nodded as I watched him, walk to the edge and jumped onto the window sill.

"Be careful!" I whisper-yelled as he pulled himself in.

"Ok. Now you try."

My eyes widened. "What if I fall?"

"I'll catch you. I'm right here. I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Judai."

And for some reason, I believed him. So when I jumped, I was confident that he would save me if anything happened.

My hands slapped against the windowsill and then held onto his forearms as he pulled me the rest of the way in.

"You alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm ok."

"Told you."

"Shut up," I said as I blushed.

He laughed.

Over his shoulder, I saw a notebook open along with his guitar. Walking past him and into his room, I sat down on the bed to look. But Johan closed the book before I could.

"Were you writing before I came here?" I asked as he sat next to me.

He cleared his throat oddly. "Um, yeah."

"Do you mind if I look at some of them?" I asked as I took the notebook and opened it back up.

Johan closed it again and took it back. "Actually, I do."

I frowned. "Oh, sorry."

Johan shook his head. "It's nothing personal, it's just um…some of my songs are a little…" his voice trailed off. "Forgive me, but I don't really wanna talk about it."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Johan, what happened to you?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. The spark in his eyes was now gone which made his eyes seem darker and harder.

"Don't do that," I said.

"What?" he snapped.

"Don't push me away."

"I'm not."

"You are. I can see it in your eyes."

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

I placed my hand on his arm. "Johan, you have to know that you can tell me anything. You don't have to tell me now if you don't want but I just need you to know that. I'm sorry if I pushed you."

He smiled a little. "You didn't. You were only asking. It's ok to ask."

I smiled, glad that I hadn't ruined our friendship for good. I was about to start a different conversation when Johan said, "My previous boyfriend, Yusei…he died."

My eyes widened. "Johan, you don't have to-"

"It was after junior prom," he continued. "We were lounging around in his room while his parents were out. We weren't doing much. To be accurate, we weren't doing anything. So Yusei suggested that we go for a ride on his motorcycle."

I wanted to ask him if the bike he rode now was Yusei's but I decided to hold my questions until he was finished.

"It had just started to rain lightly, but the roads were still pretty dry. Yusei said that it was still safe to drive around. Then he gave me his helmet. He only had one and told me to wear it."

He stopped to take a shaky breath. "So we just started driving all around Hiroshima, having fun.

"I didn't realize how hard the rain was coming down until we stopped for a red light and we slid a little. So I told Yusei it would be wise to go back home.

"Yusei turned around and headed back to his house. It wasn't until we were half way home when some drunk driver came out of nowhere and crashed into us.

"I flew forward, and I would've hit the ground if Yusei hadn't grabbed me and flipped us around so he was the one who would take the hit."

Tears were in his eyes now and he seemed to be having trouble catching his breath.

"Johan, you can stop. You don't have to tell me the whole story."

But he ignored me and continued.

"Since I was wearing his helmet, he had no protection," his voice cracked as a few tears slid down his face. "I saw his head bounce as he hit the ground. Blood was pooling from under him. And the worst part of it was that he was alive for all the pain. His eyes locked on mine as he asked if I was ok. He was on the brink of death and he was asking about _me_." He swallowed hard.

"I told him to stop talking and to relax, the police were on their way. But he just continued to rake his eyes over me, looking for any injuries. He was insane. He kept apologizing. He wouldn't shut up!" His voice got louder at the end. And for a moment, I thought he would go into hysterics but he just wiped the tears and continued.

"It didn't take long for the police and the ambulances to arrive. Jim, Asuka, Sho and Ryo were there too. They tried to keep me distracted as the EMT's checked me and carried Yusei into the ambulance.

"When they were done checking me, I got into the ambulance with Yusei. After asking, Jim and Asuka strapped the motorcycle to the roof of the car before driving to the hospital behind us.

"We sat there for hours in the waiting room, waiting for some information. I was a nervous wreck. Jim and Asuka tried to console me and tell me that it was ok. But it wasn't. I knew that the second the doctor walked in. I could see it on his face.

"He told me that they did everything they could but he only had a few minutes left and only one person could see him. I wanted to be the one to speak to him last but I had to remember that I wasn't the only one who was important to. But I got the ok from everyone so I went to see him.

"Yusei's exact words were, 'Johan, don't worry about me. I'm fine. But you have to promise me that you won't stress over this. It was bound to happen at some point.'" He sniffed and I saw him pushed down a sob. "Then he said, 'I love you, Johan. Tell the rest of the gang that I'll miss them.'

"I told him that there would be no one after him. That I'd love him forever."

I winced involuntarily.

"But he told me that I had to. He said, 'You can love more than one person at a time. I'll always be with you.' And that's when he went."

His eyes closed as he sobbed. "The monitor flat lined," he wailed. "And now he's gone! He's never coming back, Judai! Never!"

I hugged him and let him cry on my shoulder. I couldn't help but shed a few tears myself. If I had lost someone that I loved I didn't know what I'd do with myself.

After a while, his tears stopped and he sat up and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't think it's ever been that bad before."

I smiled apologetically at him. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you got it all out. Thank you for telling me."

He laughed humorlessly. "If anything, you should be yelling at me. I probably traumatized you with me screaming like that."

I rolled my eyes. "It takes more than that to traumatize me. Now stop apologizing, you did nothing wrong."

His eyes saddened again and I gasped. "Johan, you know for a fact that it wasn't your fault that he died."

"Yes it was."

"How? You weren't the drunk driver, were you?"

"I should've told him to stay home. We could've watched a movie or something."

"Johan, that wasn't your fault. Just because it's raining doesn't mean you can't drive. Sure, you have to be careful but it seems to me like Yusei was a very safe driver."

He shook his head. "Nothing you can say will change my mind."

I sighed. I figured that he wouldn't want to talk about this anymore. But I wouldn't give up. I _would_ make him see that none of that was his fault. One day. One miraculous day, he would come to his senses.

"So what do you wanna do?" I asked cheerfully.

He looked at me like I was nuts for a second, then smiled. "What _can_ we do? It's nearly three in the morning."

I shrugged. "Play a game. Watch a movie. Play some music. I dunno."

"I don't have that many games and if I play any music, it'll probably be something sad. Let's watch a movie."

"Ok, what movie?"

He shrugged. "You're the guest. You pick."

I looked at the movies he had and picked the funniest one there was.

Wet Hot American Summer.

"Good choice," I heard Johan say behind me.

I laughed and jumped on the bed next to him and got comfortable as the movie started.

We laughed at all the right parts and somewhere in between, I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning a little after seven.

Johan was still sleeping next to me. I was tempted to keep sleeping but I thought it would be wiser to head back to my dorm.

So I carefully got out of bed. Then I snuck down the stairs and that's when it hit me. An idea of how to get him to realize that the accident wasn't Johan's fault.

I smirked, satisfied that I had come up with something and unlocked the doors, so I could get back in.

I snuck back to my dorm and powered up my laptop. Taking a blank CD from its case, I downloaded a song onto it. Then I went back to the Blue Dorm and placed it on Johan's night stand along with a note.

Taking in one last look at his sleeping form, I left.

I sighed in content and went back to sleep, dreaming of a green-eyed God.

**Ok guys! That's it! Wow, long chapter lol I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Omg! i'm so excited because I get to see Beastly today with my bestie! 3 haha**

**Review plz!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


	11. I Just Realized

**Ok guys! I hope you're all ready for another chappie! Lol maybe I'll update another chapter for President's Day…? Haha I mean, c'mon it's a three day weekend, might as well enjoy it! ROFL well, for me it's a four day weekend lol**

**Song: Open Up Your Eyes by Daughtry**

**Johan's POV**

I was so tired after the party, I thought I would begin sleeping standing up. But when I got into my bed, I suddenly wasn't tired anymore. And I couldn't help but look over. It was obvious he wouldn't be there, but I'd been doing that every night.

Ever time I get into bed, I look next to me to see if the brunette boy my eyes so desperately wanted to lock there gaze on, was there. Each time he wasn't.

I tossed and turned for almost an hour, before thought, to hell with it.

I snatched my phone and texted Judai, asking if he was awake.

A minute later, I got a sarcastic reply saying that he was sleep texting. Ah, only Judai.

Then I asked if he wanted to come over. He was a little skeptical which was what I was expecting. I mean, almost getting caught by drunk night guards? I wouldn't want to get in that situation again. But Judai agreed to come over in the end.

I climbed out of the window and into the tree and waited for Judai. And when I saw him walk to the door, I wanted to kick myself. Why didn't I just walk down the stairs and to the door? Golly, was I really that stupid?

Judai even pointed it out, when I caught up with him. But I would never admit to his face that I just made a really dumb mistake.

When the two of us were inside safely, we sat down on my bed.

Judai saw my music book and started flipping through it but I snatched it from him before he could see. I didn't want to hurt him which was why I couldn't let him see all that was written there.

"Were you writing before I came here?" he asked lightly.

After clearing my throat, I said, "Yes."

"Do you mind if I look at some of them?" he asked as he took the book back to his grasp.

I took it again and said, "Actually I do."

Judai's frown made me feel guilty. But I couldn't show him. He'd be so heartbroken and I would only have myself to blame. I couldn't do that to him. Never.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Ugh! Damnit!

"It's nothing personal," I said quickly. "It's just…some of my songs are…" I sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Johan, what happened to you?" he asked.

"Nothing," I lied.

His frown deepened as his eyes began to shimmer behind his tears. "Don't do that."

"What?" I snapped.

Ah! Why did I do that? What the hell is wrong with me, today?

"Don't push me away."

"I'm not."

"You are. I can see it in your eyes."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, but not at him. At myself. I hated myself for dragging Judai into this. He shouldn't have to suffer.

"Johan, you know you can tell me anything," he continued. "I'm sorry if I pushed you."

I smiled. "You didn't. You were only asking. It's ok, to ask."

Then I began to think. Asuka, Sho, Jim and Ryou already know my secret and they seem perfectly fine. Sure, sometimes they worry but overall they're perfectly fine. Would Judai be the same if I told him. I really wanted to. I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. No gaps. I loved him and I wanted to share everything with him, starting now.

"My previous boyfriend," I started, "Yusei…he died." And that's how it started. Of course, Judai tried to stop me, telling me that I didn't have to if I didn't want to. But I did. And I told him so.

There were lots of tears and for a moment, I thought I wouldn't make it through. But Judai's encouraging words and gestures pulled me through it.

When I finished, he let me cry on his shoulder. And when I couldn't cry anymore, we got into a small argument over whose fault it was. I knew it was mine and I was pretty sure that Judai knew it too. He just didn't want to say it because he was either trying to make me feel better or he was biased.

But it didn't matter what he believed. I would always know the truth. The _horrible_ truth.

Then Judai changed the subject and we decided to watch a movie, which I was glad for. I thought I would start ripping my hair out if we fought any longer.

We ended up falling asleep on top of each other about half way through the movie. And for once in what seemed like a long time, Judai was back in my arms.

And when I woke up the next day at almost noon, I was disappointed to see that Judai wasn't there.

I sat up and saw a CD case on my night stand. I picked it up and saw a post-it-note on top of it.

It said:

_Johan,_

_Sorry, I'm not here. It was a school night, remember? But don't worry about your classes, I'll just tell your teachers that your sick and take some notes for you. Get some rest and I hope this song on the CD makes you reconsider what you said last night. I didn't write it, unfortunately. I don't have your talent, though I wish I did._

_Thank you for telling me,_

_Judai_

I wasn't awake enough to know what hell he meant by reconsidering what I said last night. But I put the CD into the CD player and listened.

"_A single rose left to remember_

_As a single tear falls from her eye_

_Another cold day in December_

_A year from the day she said goodbye."_

"_Seems it's only been a moment_

_Since the angels took him from her arms_

_And she was left there holding on to their tomorrow_

_But as they laid him in the ground_

_Her heart would sing without a sound!"_

"_For the first time you can open your eyes!_

_And see the world without your sorrow_

_Where no one knows the pain you left behind."_

"_And all the peace you could never find_

_Is waiting there to hold and keep you_

_Welcome to the first day of your life."_

"_Just open up your eyes, eyes."_

I knew what he meant now, about reconsidering. And I think for a second, I was. I mean, I _did_ ask if he wanted to stay inside when I saw it was raining but he insisted. And Judai was right, it shouldn't be dangerous to drive in the rain.

"_A single lifetime lays behind her_

_As she draws her final breath._

_Just beyond the door, he'll find her._

_Taking her hand he softly says,"_

"_For the first time you can open your eyes._

_And see the world without your sorrow!_

_Where no one knows the pain you left behind."_

"_And all the peace you could never find._

_Is waiting there to hold and keep you,_

_Welcome to the first day of your life."_

"_Just open your eyes as I lay down tonight."_

_Safe on the other side. No more tears to cry!"_

"_For the first time you can open your eyes._

_And see the world without your sorrow._

_Where no one knows the pain you left behind."_

"_And all the peace you could never find._

_Is waiting there to hold and keep you._

_Welcome to the first day of your life_

_Just open up your eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes!"_

Tears were running down my face now. As I listened to the song, I could almost hear Yusei in the background, whispering the lyrics in my ear. Judai was right. It wasn't my fault and it was time to move on. Yusei would always be a part of me. He would want me to be happy.

And Judai makes me happy. He's my forever. And Yusei will always be a part of me.

Just now, I realized that it _was_ in fact possible, to be in love with more than one person.

So I got up, grabbed a blank CD and put one song on it just like Judai did. I think we could have some fun speaking in music.

So I walked down to the Red dorm only to find the door locked. Of course. So I walked back to the Blue Dorm and decided that I would wait until classes were over.

Two very slow hours later, I walked back to the dorm to find only Sho.

"Hey, Johan," he greeted.

"Hey," I said. "Where's Judai?"

"He's getting some of your notes since you decided to ditch," he laughed. "He said you were sick."

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, something like that."

He lifted up a brow.

"I told him," I finally said.

"Told him what?"

"Everything."

Sho smiled. "Good for you, Yo-Yo."

I grinned back and lifted up the CD. "This is Judai's. Can you tell him that I left it here for him?"

"Sure. See you around, Johan."

"See ya, Sho," I said as I left.

I got back in my bed with my hands behind my head and sighed in content. I've never felt this relieved in a long time.

Everything would be ok, now.

**Yep and that's it for now lol I hoped you all enjoyed it!**

**Review plz!**

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	12. Confession In A Song

**Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update in a while, homework is such a bitch lately! Lol not to mention, fanfiction was being stupid for a while. i don't think it likes me anymore :(... anyway, enough of my rambling. Let's get started!**

**O****h and prepare yourselves for a time skip ;)**

**Song: Best of Me by The Letter Black**

**Judai's POV**

The next day during school, the only thing I could focus on was Johan. Was he awake? Was he still sleeping? If he was, what was he dreaming about. Am I in it?

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I had to clear all thoughts of him and copy the notes…for Johan.

Ugh! Why is this so hard?

Sighing for the umpteenth time, I looked up and copied down some mort notes. It was a little difficult considering, I had to write everything twice.

"Judai, are you actually taking notes?" Asuka whispered next to him.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe."

She laughed softly. "Wow, I never thought I'd live to see this. Why are you making two copies?"

I blushed.

"Uh-oh," Jim said. "I've never seen him blush since…ever. Oh wow, now I'm interested."

"No reason," I answered Asuka's question.

"Liar," Asuka and Jim said in unison.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm making a copy for Johan. He's uh…sick."

Asuka stifled a laugh. "Sure. Ok."

I sighed and continued taking the notes.

Two classes later, I was so tired, his eyes were drooping. Who knew taking notes could be such a tiring activity?

"Judai, are you ok?" Sho asked.

I nodded tiredly.

"You sure? You look like you're about to drop dead."

I chuckled softly. "I'm fine."

"If you say so."

And after of another torturing forty-two minutes, the lunch bell rang. I almost shot up from my chair and cheered.

Sho and I left the classroom then and ran into each other since we were going opposite ways.

"Judai-kun, the lunch room's that way," Sho said with a small smile.

"I know," I said. "I'm going to the rest of Johan's classes to get his notes since I only have first and third classes with him."

"Oh, ok. I'll save you a seat then."

"Thanks."

After getting a copy of Johan's notes I made my way to the lunchroom to find everyone staring at me.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?" I asked suspiciously?

"Care to share something with us?" Asuka said with a glint in her eyes.

I lifted up a brow. "Huh?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "You know, you're not that subtle, mate."

"I seriously have no idea what you're talking about."

"Just admit it," Sho said. "You have a crush on Johan."

Oh my gosh! How did they know!

"It's pretty obvious, dude." Ryou surprised everyone by actually joining in on their conversation.

And they're reading my thoughts now?

"No, you're just having trouble keeping your inner monologue _in_," Asuka explained.

"Oh."

Everyone laughed as I blushed again.

"Don't be embarrassed, we're just messing with you," Asuka giggled.

"Do you think he knows?" I asked.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Nope. He's completely oblivious."

I wasn't sure if I was relieved or upset about that. Oh crap, did I say that out loud?

When I didn't get a response from the rest of the guys, I assumed that I didn't.

"I think you should tell him," said Sho.

"Yeah, me too," Asuka agreed. "The two of you are so cute together!"

I laughed. "Thanks, Asuka but I think I'll pass."

"Why?" they all asked.

"Because, he's so far out of my league, he can't even see me from where he's standing."

"That is total bullshit," Jim said with narrowed eyes.

"Are we seriously gonna argue about this for the whole lunch hour?" I asked.

"If you keep denying it," Asuka replied.

I sighed. "Fine. If I agreed to it, would you stop pestering me about it?"

"No, you have to mean it."

I groaned. "You're so unfair."

"But you love us anyway."

"Yeah, I guess I kinda have to."

When classes were over, I was happy to finally get the last of Johan's notes and return to my dorm.

"Hey, Judai," Sho greeted with a wide smile.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked.

He lifted up a CD case. "Johan left this for you."

I took it and put it in my CD player but before I pressed play, I looked over at Sho. "Do you mind if I listen to this alone?"

"Oh! O-of course not. I-I'll just go," he stuttered as he left the dorm.

I hit play and listened to the lyrics.

"_If I could fine yesterday_

_I'd take you back to where I'm coming from_

'_Cause you can see the way_

_All these scars have kept me running_

_And chasing down the past_

_But I'm not done, I'm turning back!"_

"_I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing_

_I swear, you keep giving me a reason to keep believing."_

"_Finally, I'm worth it, though I'm not perfect_

_It still feels right and I keep on giving_

_Trying to make a difference in my life_

_But I know another way to show_

_Everything I can be for you_

_You're all that I'll ever need_

_I'll give you the best of me!"_

"_If I could read tomorrow's mind_

_I'd know exactly where you're taking me._

_If I'm gonna slip away_

_Or if I stay and give you all my trust_

_You will keep me safe_

_I know you won't let me fade."_

"_I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing_

_I swear, you keep giving me a reason to keep believing."_

"_Finally, I'm worth it, though I'm not perfect_

_It still feels right and I keep on giving_

_Trying to make a difference in my life_

_But I know another way to show_

_Everything I can be for you_

_You're all that I'll ever need_

_I'll give you the best of me!"_

"_Oh, I know I believe it_

_No, I will be turning around_

_I wanna know you now_

_Your love won't keep me down, no!"_

"_I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing_

_I swear, you keep giving me a reason to keep believing."_

"_Finally, I'm worth it, though I'm not perfect_

_It still feels right and I keep on giving_

_Trying to make a difference in my life_

_But I know another way to show_

_Everything I can be for you_

_You're all that I'll ever need_

_I'll give you the best of me, Whoa, oh!"_

"_Finally, I'm worth it, though I'm not perfect_

_It still feels right and I keep on giving_

_Trying to make a difference in my life_

_But I know another way to show_

_Everything I can be for you_

_You're all that I'll ever need_

_I'll give you the best of me!"_

"_I'll give you the best of me!_

_I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing_

_I swear…"_

I could faintly hear cheering coming from the other side of the door. If I wasn't so happy at this point, I would march up to Sho and scold him for doing the exact opposite of what I asked him to do.

I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as I placed the CD back in the case and put it safely on my music shelf. Then I opened the door and caught Sho doing his victory dance.

When he saw me, he froze and stared with wide eyes. "Are you gonna kill me now?"

I sighed. "I would if I wasn't so happy right now."

He laughed and hugged me. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks. I'll be back in a while. I have to talk to Johan."

Sho cheered as I ran to the Blue Dorm.

I raced inside and then up the stairs and knocked on Johan's dorm.

After what seemed like forever but was actually only a few seconds, Johan answered the door.

"Hey, Judai," he said as he let me in.

I stepped in and closed the door behind me. "I listened to the song you gave me."

He swallowed. "Did you like it?"

I blushed slightly and nodded.

He stared at me with those bright green eyes and faster than my mind could comprehend, I was up against the door with Johan's mouth attached to mine.

After a few seconds of me just standing there like an idiot, I closed my eyes and kissed him back.

He pulled away way too soon for my liking. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that."

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for _you_ to do that," I laughed.

Johan chuckled. "My apologies."

I bit my lip as I began to word a very awkward question in my mind.

"What is it, Ju-chan?"

"Are…are we, like, an item now?"

"An item?"

"You know, like, together?"

He smiled and kissed me again. "I vote yes. What about you?"

"Hell yes."

He laughed out of what sounded like sheer joy before wrapping his arms around me and tackling me down onto his bed and tickled my sides.

I screamed and writhed under him until there were tears coming from my eyes.

"Do you have anything planned today?" Johan asked.

I shook my head.

"Good, because you'll be stuck with me for the rest of the day."

That reminded me. "Oh, um, I actually have to go back and get your notes."

He rolled his eyes. "Who cares? I'll get them later."

I laughed. "I never though I'd hear that come from you."

"Well, I'll let it slide for today."

I giggled at let my head rest against his chest. "This is nice."

"Very."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I woke up one morning and realized that it had been almost a month since I had slept in my own dorm. Now it was October nineteenth, only a couple of days before Halloween and Johan and I had never slept alone since the end of September.

There was even a drawer of my clothes in his dorm.

"Judai, do you plan on staying in bed the whole time?" Johan laughed as he pulled on his sneakers.

I moaned tiredly. "I don't feel like going to class today."

"Me neither, but we have to."

I groaned again.

"At least we only have to go to our morning classes."

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

Johan smiled. "We're planning a fundraiser which will take up the rest of the day."

"A fundraiser?"

"Well, not really but…it's complicated."

"Explain," I said as I got out of bed and reached for a clean pair of clothes for the day.

"We're having a talent show on the twenty-fifth. Everyone who attends has to pay five dollars in order to get in. That way the school has enough money to have a Halloween Dance."

"Cool," I said as I went into the bathroom to shower and change. "You think I should try out?" I called over the running water.

"If you want to. I mean, you're a good singer," Johan said on the other side.

I smiled. "I think I might."

"Awesome. I'm trying out too."

"Are you gonna play one of the songs you've written?" I asked.

"No, I'll be singing a song by Elton John."

I frowned slightly. I liked hearing his songs. They were filled with such emotion. More than I any famous singer had.

After I was showered, I changed into my clothes and opened the door and laughed slightly when I saw a puff of smoke follow behind me.

"That was epic," Johan commented. "All you needed was some music to go along with that."

I rolled my eyes. "You're so weird."

He laughed. "Damn right."

When we got to class, there was a sign out sheet for the talent show at the front doors. Johan and I scribbled our names down on the list and then hurried to our first class.

"Tryouts are two days from now," Johan said as we sat in our seats.

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"Yeah."

"Sweet. I can't wait."

Johan smiled. "Me neither."

"Do I get to know what song your singing?" I asked.

"Only if you tell me yours," he laughed.

I scoffed. "Never."

"Ok. But you won't ever know mine."

"That's a lie," I giggled. "I'll know what song it is when you sing it at the talent show."

"I guess your right…shit."

I laughed but quieted down when the teacher walked in and started class.

And precisely at that time, I knew that attending Duel Academia would be the best thing that ever happened to my life.

**Well, that's it for today! Lol I hoped you all enjoyed it ;) it was fun writing it.**

**WOOOT THEY FINALLY KISSED! Haha**

**Review plz!**

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	13. Talent Show

**Who's ready for chapter 13? Meeeeeeeeee! Lol this is one of my fav chapters because it has my two fav songs!**

**Songs: Someone Saved My Life Tonight by Elton John**

**E.T. by Katy Perry**

**Johan's POV**

Twenty-two days.

Judai and I had slept in the same bed twenty days in a row. I had dreamt of that since the first day I saw him at the party way back in the beginning of September. And no, I'm not exaggerating. These were my exact thoughts:

_Me and Judai…_

_Me and Judai in bed…_

_Me and Judai in bed sexing each other…_

Yes, I know that was extremely perverted. I don't need you to tell me that.

But oh my gosh! Twenty freaking days! Holy shit! And the fact that I was allowed to kiss him whenever I wanted to now, only sweetened the deal.

"Johan, are you paying attention?"

I was snapped from my thoughts and came to terms with the teacher. "Yes," I lied.

He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before turning back to the board.

Fortunately, the bell rang then and we were allowed to leave.

I sighed in relief and packed up my stuff. Now I was off to music class. My favorite.

"Hello, my little musicians," Mrs. Shields said from behind her desk.

"Hey, Alice," everyone said.

I was still trying to get used to the whole first name basis thing.

"So who's trying out for the talent show tonight?" she asked.

More than half the class, including me, raised their hands and she laughed.

"I figured. You guys have skill," she said. Her gaze lingered on me for a few seconds and I smiled too when I realized she was mostly talking to me.

"Well," Alice continued, "since it's a Friday, let's have some fun with music. Who'd like to go first?"

And so we wasted the whole period laughing and making parodies of the dumbest songs out there which got a good laugh out of Alice.

I was more than a little bummed out when the bell rang, signaling the end of the day.

"Have a good weekend, guys," Alice said as we walked out of the door. "I'll see some of you tonight. Johan, can I speak with you for a minute?"

I walked to her desk and pulled up a seat.

Alice looked a little nervous and opened and closed her mouth dozens of times, trying to word something.

"What is it?" I asked.

She cleared her throat and looked at me. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding but…I couldn't help but notice that you've been a little happier than you were before."

I opened my mouth and the words spilled from my mouth without notice. "Well, something _has_ been bothering me for a while. A _long_ while. And I used to think it was my fault even though it was completely out of my control."

_Stop talking Anderson_, a voice in my head scolded. But I kept going.

"And my friend helped me realize that it wasn't…so yeah, I guess I am a little happier than I was before. Music helps a lot too."

Alice smiled and patted my forearm. "Music is a very healing process. I should know."

My eyes widened slightly. "Wh-what?" I stuttered.

She laughed once and pulled out a picture from her drawer. It was a picture of her in a white dress with a man next to her. Her wedding photo.

"He died last year," she explained.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What for? You didn't kill him, did you?"

I smiled lightly but shook my head.

"I was so messed up. I thought that I would forever be broken." Her voice cracked slightly and there were tears in her eyes.

"That's hard to believe." I didn't realize I had said that aloud until she replied,

"Music does a lot."

"What instrument did you play?"

"Piano. And then later, I learned the guitar. But for some strange reason, I tried the drums but that was a disaster."

I laughed with her.

"I wish I was as good as you," I said lightly.

Alice smiled apologetically. "Sometimes, things are harder to get over. Plus, you're barely an adult, no offense. You're still learning."

"Thanks, Alice. For sharing that with me, I mean."

"You're welcome. I figured it might help to let you know that you're not alone when it comes to stuff like this."

I smiled and looked at the time. "Well, I've gotta go. I want to try to get some of my homework done before the talent show."

"Ok. I'll see you there, Johan."

I waved and left the classroom, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

I walked into the Blue Dorm and saw Judai sitting right outside my door.

"Ju-chan, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I was waiting for you," he said as he stood up.

I rolled my eyes. "You've practically lived here for a whole month. You're allowed to walk in," I said as I opened the door.

He blushed. "Sorry. I just didn't want you to think I was rude."

I kissed him chastely on the lips. "I would never think that. You're the kindest thing ever created."

His blush reddened. "Don't patronize me."

I laughed. "I'm not."

"Uh-huh, sure," he said sarcastically. He walked past me and sat on my bed and looked at my guitar and frowned slightly.

"Ju-chan?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he said without looking up.

I sat next to him. "Are you ok?"

He sighed. "Yeah."

"Doesn't sound like it. What's the matter?"

"Do you think it would be weird if I sang a song without playing the guitar or something?"

I laughed. "That's what your worried about?"

"Well, everyone I talk to knows how to play some instrument and I don't."

I shook my head. "You're incredible."

"You're not helping the situation."

"Judai, you'll be fine. Better than fine. You'll do great whether you play the guitar or not. Do you know how many singers there are out there that don't play instruments?"

He only stared at me.

"Some of them don't even know the difference between a ukulele and a guitar."

He giggled.

"And if you really feel strongly about that, I could teach you how to play the guitar. Though I must warn you, I'm a horrible tutor."

He laughed. "That's ok. I'm a horrible learner."

I kissed him again and mumbled against his lips, "I guess we're a perfect match then."

"You bet," he replied.

Our lips moved in sync and our tongues danced to the beat of our increasing heartbeats.

I sucked lightly on his bottom lip as he hungrily took my top. My hand absentmindedly braided itself in his brown locks as he moaned.

His hand slipped under my shirt and ran over my abs earning a shiver from me. He left a trail of goose bumps on my skin everywhere he touched.

But when his hand slid down to my pants I stopped his hand and pulled away.

Judai's eyes were wide and I assumed mine were as well.

"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered.

"It's ok," I said breathlessly. "Sorry I just…I don't think either of us are ready for…"

Judai nodded. "No, I agree with you. I just got a little carried away is all."

I kissed him in the cheek. "Don't worry, Ju-chan. It happens to everyone."

He smiled. "Well, I'm gonna go back to my dorm. Sho must think I've abandoned him."

I laughed. "Alright. I'll see you at the talent show tonight."

"Ok. Bye, Jo-kun." He left the dorm and I pulled out my textbooks and started my homework. But it was extremely uncomfortable. How could I focus on math when I just cock-blocked myself?

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

By six thirty, I was showered and dressed in my favorite black leather jacket with my white shirt underneath and jeans. I was definitely _not_ going to participate in the talent show with that horrible outfit. It looked like a rainbow threw up on me.

After making sure I knew all the words and notes to the song I would be playing, I made my way inside the building and into the auditorium.

Most of us laughed and goofed around while others practiced their songs.

Then at seven, people started piling in and we had to stop talking because the show was starting.

I hung out in the hallways near the auditorium until it my Judai's turn. He was second to last and I was after him.

When they called Judai's name, I came back in the auditorium and watched him.

I didn't recognize the song but it sounded jumpy. It was a techno song and it made me want to dance.

"_You're so hypnotizing_

_Could you be the Devil? Could you be an angel?_

_Your touch, magnetizing_

_Feels like I am floating, leaves my body glowing."_

"_They say…be afraid_

_You're not like the others, futuristic lover_

_Different…DNA_

_They don't understand you."_

"_You're from a whole other world_

_A different dimension_

_You open my eyes_

_And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light!"_

"_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me_

_Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me_

_I wanna be your victum, ready for abduction."_

"_Boy, you're an alien!_

_You're touch are foreign_

_It's supernatural_

_Extraterrestrial."_

I found myself clapping to the beat which got everyone who was watching clapping too.

Judai kept glancing at me and I stifled a laugh. He was singing the song to me.

When he finished the song, he winked at me and I just shook my head incredulously. He kept surprising me. I mean, one minute he's all shy and then the next, he sings a song like _that_. Wow.

I gave Judai a small smile as I passed him and sat down in front of the piano.

"Now, here's Johan, singing Someone Saved My Life Tonight."

I began playing the introduction and then started to sing.

"_When I think of those east end lights, muggy nights_

_The curtain drawn in the little room downstairs_

_Prima donna Lord, you should have been there_

_Sitting like a princes perched in her electric chair_

_And it's one more beer and I don't hear you anymore_

_We've all gone crazy lately._

_My friends out there rolling 'round the basement floor."_

"_And someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear_

_You almost had your hooks in me, didn't ya dear?_

_You nearly had me roped and tied._

_Alter-bound, hypnotized_

_Sweet freedom, whispered in my ear._

_And you're a butterfly._

_And butterflies are free to fly, fly away._

_High away, bye-bye."_

I looked over as I continued to sing and play and saw Judai mouthing the words.

I smiled at him and he laughed and swayed to the beat.

I finished the song and was surprised to get a standing ovation plus a loud whistle from Alice.

I laughed at her and gave her two thumbs up. Then I left the stage and stood with the other kids who participated as the hosts ended the show.

"Johan!"

I had just reached Judai when someone called me.

I turned and saw that it was Alice.

"Great job!" she said as she hugged me.

"Thanks."

"You did too…um-"

"Oh, Alice this is Judai. That friend I was telling you about before," I said remembering the conversation we had in her classroom.

She smiled at him. "You did great too, Judai."

"Thank you," he said with a light blush.

"I just wanted to congratulate you," she said. "I'll see you Monday."

"Ok, bye Alice."

"You were talking about me?" Judai asked with a smile.

I chuckled. "Don't get a big head now."

"What? I'm not allowed to inflate my head a little? C'mon, you and I both know I need the boost of self-confidence."

I kissed him. "You're right. But don't complain if your head gets stuck in the door."

"You're such a tease."

I gasped sarcastically. "I am no such thing."

He giggled. "And weird."

"Lies! All lies!"

After everyone was done fooling around, we went to count how much money there was.

We got over 1500 dollars which meant we had more than enough for the Halloween dance.

"So are you sleeping with me or Sho?" I asked as we left the school.

"Sho," Judai said. "We're gonna go shop for our Halloween costumes anyway."

"What are you dressing as?" I asked.

"It's a surprise."

"Oh boy."

He laughed. "But once we come back, you and I can have the rest of the day together."

I smiled. "Good. I don't like it when you're away from me," I said as I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"Possessive much?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed him playfully. "Ok, now you're annoying me," I teased.

He stuck his tongue out at me and headed toward his dorm as I went to mine.

I fell asleep hoping that I wouldn't wake up and find that all that had happened was a dream.

**Well, that's chapter 13! I hoped you all liked it! Review plz!**

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	14. Lonesome Nights & Accompanied Afternoons

**Hey guys! Lol I'm in such a good mood because I just realized how many days are left of school. Haha seven more weeks and I'm free! Well here's chapter 14. Enjoy!**

**Song: This Afternoon by Nickelback**

**Judai's POV**

That night, I stared up at the ceiling with my body tucked into the cold sheets of my bed. Sho was snoring lightly next to me. I mean it wasn't that obnoxious of a sound, it seemed to be keeping me awake.

I didn't want to wake him up and tell him to shut the hell up because one: it's rude and two: because it's completely uncontrollable.

_Three: because that's not the real reason you're awake…_

Ugh! Shut up you stupid voice!

Ok, maybe my extremely creepy conscience is right. Sho's snoring isn't what's keeping me up. It's something very different. Very frustrating. Something that could only be helped by one person.

Johan. Was. Not. In. Bed. With. Me.

And no, I'm not talking about _in bed_ in bed with me. I'm talking about harmless sleeping here. Just sleeping and touching each other in inappropriate places when we the other is asleep. But I was quite surprised to find out that I wasn't the only one who did it.

Besides, it's not like I can just waltz up to Johan's dorm and climb into bed with him. I'd get in serious trouble with the guards outside and if not that, Johan would think I was completely and utterly insane.

Sighing once more, I turned over and closed my eyes. That was a pitiful attempt to fall asleep. I'm not sure how long I tried to keep it up but when I opened my eyes again, I saw Sho looking at me with a smirk on his face.

"I thought you were asleep?" I asked.

He yawned. "I was."

"Did I wake you?"

He shook his head. "No. But it was quite amusing watching you try to sleep."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

Sho chuckled. "But seriously, why are you still up?"

I shrugged.

He scoffed. "Please, I can see your blush. What is it?"

"It's stupid."

"Not stupid enough to keep you up at all hours of the night."

I sighed. "It's Johan."

Sho sat up. "What happened? Did you two get in a fight?"

"What? No! No, it's just that I've gotten so used to him sleeping next to me but tonight, he's not. I don't know, it's just weird."

He smiled. "That's cute."

"Glad you think so. I find it unbelievably frustrating."

Sho laughed. "It means you love him."

"I wouldn't go that far."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I know love when I see it."

"Dude, you're only eighteen."

"And?"

"What do you know about love?"

"Not much but I know what it looks like."

I chuckled. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"Judai, my parents have been married for over ten years and they still look at each other as if it's the first time. I know what it looks like."

I shook my head. "Still I wouldn't go that far."

"You've seriously got some self-esteem issues."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, if I were talking to someone else, absolutely nothing. But I know you Judai. You would go that far because you have no self confidence whatsoever."

_You know it's true…_

Didn't I tell you to piss off?

"Go to sleep, Sho."

He laughed. "You're in denial."

"Sleep!" I demanded playfully.

"_Denial_," he sang before he turned over and went back to sleep.

I picked up my iPod and played the song that Johan gave to me and eventually I fell asleep.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I woke up the next day to a guitar solo blaring into my ears.

Sho was standing over me laughing. "Wake up, Sleepyhead!"

I ripped my headphones out of my ears before they could burst my eardrums. I hadn't realized my iPod was still playing until now.

"Are you trying to make me go deaf?" I asked.

"No but I couldn't think of anything else to do. I mean, I could've poured ice cold water on you but I didn't want to ruin your iPod."

I laughed. "Of course, think of the iPod before me."

"Always."

I got out of bed and started my morning routine.

We left the Academy close to three and got to the mall a half hour after that.

"So, do you know what costume you want?" Sho asked from the passenger side.

"Yeah, do you?" I asked as I shifted the car into park.

"No. I'm just looking for something that sticks out to me."

I nodded. "Ok, let's go." I pulled the keys from the ignition and locked the car before walking into the mall with Sho.

Sho and I walked around for almost two hours before he finally decided on a Roman God.

"You're a little short for the part, don't ya think?" I joked.

He growled. "Hey! I'm a god! I can easily change my form to a twelve foot all-star."

I laughed. "Yeah, sure."

"Don't test my abilities."

"Whatever. Now let's go pick out my costume."

"What are you gonna be?" Sho asked.

"A cowboy."

"Oh c'mon, you can do better than that."

"Hey! I've always wanted to be one and now is my chance so hush!"

He laughed.

Once I found one in my size, I bought it and Sho and I were out of there by quarter to six. We could've left so much earlier if Sho weren't so anal about wearing the most perfect costume to the dance.

"Do you know what Johan's dressing as?"

I shook my head. "No. I suggested that we keep it a surprise. And then he said we should meet each other there because it would accentuate the idea or something like that."

He laughed. "Yeah, that's sounds like him."

When we got back, I told Sho that I'd see him later and then went to the Blue Dorm since I promised Johan the rest of the day.

When I reached the door, I didn't bother knocking since Johan indicated I didn't need to the previous day.

But when I did, I heard Johan scream. "Judai, close your eyes!"

I did what he said quickly. "Why? What, are you naked?" I secretly hoped that he would say yes.

He laughed. "No! I'm in my Halloween costume."

"Oh! Can I take a peek?"

"No."

"Please?" I asked.

He laughed again. "No. Ju-chan, you're the one who wanted to keep it a surprise."

"Damn, I forgot I said that."

After a couple of seconds, Johan said, "Ok, you can open your eyes now."

I opened them and saw Johan shrugging his vest back on.

"So, do you feel like going out tonight?" Johan asked with a smile.

I smiled too. "Ok, where are we going?"

"To one of my favorite places in the world."

My smile widened as I followed him back outside.

I walked over to Johan's motorcycle but stopped when I saw him walking in another direction. "Jo-kun, where are you going? Isn't this your ride?"

"Don't you have a car?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I've never ridden on a motorcycle before."

He looked at the bike and for a minute, I thought I saw fear in his eyes. But as soon as it came, it was gone. Then I realized he was still hazy about it because of the crash. But he rode it all the time, so what was the problem?

"N-never mind," I stuttered. "We can take my car."

"No, it's ok," he said. "We can ride the motorcycle."

I sighed. "Johan, you don't have to if you're scared."

"I'm not scared," he said. "I'm just worried that you'll get hurt. But if you really want to than you can. But you have to be careful."

I got on the back of the bike and wrapped my arms around his waist loosely.

"Judai, you're gonna have to hang on tighter than that," he warned.

I tightened my grip. "That's better. And you better wear this too," he said as he handed me his helmet.

"No, you wear it," I said.

"Judai."

"Johan."

"I've rode on this bike without a helmet thousands of times. You haven't."

I groaned and strapped it on. "You're so stubborn."

"I learned from the best."

"Hardy-har-har."

He laughed at that and revved the engine. "Hang on tight," he said over the engine's roar."

I cheered as we lurched forward and down the street.

For the first couple of minutes, Johan drove slightly under the speed limit but after he was confident that I wouldn't fall off, he sped up.

No more than ten minutes later, we pulled up to a small building that looked like a store that had gone out of business.

"What is this place?" I asked as I took off my helmet.

"It used to be my mom's when my parents lived here. She said I could run it while they were gone. But now it's just my personal heaven for no one else to see. With you as an exception of course."

"You're parents don't live here with you?"

He shook his head. "No. It was only temporary. My dad got a new job and he had to move here to Japan. That's pretty much why I'm going to Duel Academia."

"Where are they now?" I asked as we entered the store.

"Back home in Sweden."

"Oh my gosh, that's so far away. Don't you miss them?"

"Yeah, absolutely. All the time. But it got easier after a while. We still keep pretty good tabs on each other."

"That's good."

Johan flipped on the lights and I realized his mom owned a music store. There were guitars, violins, cellos pretty much every musical instrument out there.

"C'mon, Ju-chan."

I followed him into the back where sat a grand piano.

I watched as Johan lightly brushed his fingers along the top and stared at it with love and adoration. It was then that I realized how strongly he depended on music.

Johan sat on the bench. "You still interested in learning how to play?"

I smiled and sat down in front of him.

After he taught me all the keys and some of the major keys, I learned how to play a really scruffy version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

"That was good for your first time," Johan complimented.

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed. "That was horrible!"

"Yeah, well you're about to play something absolutely amazing."

He put his hands over mine and pressed them against the keys. The song was beautiful. I had never heard it before and I faintly wondered if he wrote this himself.

I relaxed my hands and allowed him to do all the work for me. Even though it wasn't me playing it was nice to pretend to.

When the song ended, he said quietly, "See? You're a natural."

I turned around to look at him and all of a sudden my body was hot. I'm not sure what it was but I suddenly felt like I needed to be close to him. I guess Johan felt it too because he leaned his head in just as I did.

Our lips touched softly and our tongues brushed every once in a while as well.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself even closer. Our bodies were smashed together but I still felt like I wasn't close enough. It was infuriating. Especially with his husky smell intoxicating my every breath.

I pulled away before things could get out of hand and panted slightly.

"What was that?" Johan asked more to himself than me.

"I have no idea. But I liked it."

He chuckled. "Me too."

Johan and I played around with the instruments a while longer before deciding to leave.

"Do you think we can come by here again sometime?" I asked as I got onto the bike.

"Of course we can. I mean, where else are we going to continue your lessons?"

I laughed and cheered as if I were on a rollercoaster as Johan kick-started the bike.

When we got back to the Academy, Johan and I went back into his dorm and watched some TV. And at some point, we muted the volume and put our own soundtrack in there.

We were just finished laughing at one of my corny jokes that included the word "duty" when Johan looked at the time.

It was midnight.

"Happy Halloween," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled and kissed him chastely. "Happy Halloween."

**Yep, that's it for now. I was actually planning on putting the dance in this chapter but I didn't expect this chapter to be that long haha well I guess we'll just have to wait until chapter 15. I hoped you all enjoyed it.**

**Review plz!**


	15. They Know What You Did Last Summer

**Chapter 15...oh yeah bitch lol jk I'm really excited about this chapter. You'll find out why. Haha well before I give something away, I'll start the chapter. Oh and prepare for a POV change. I don't usually do this but I really want it to be Judai's POV for certain scenes.**

**Song: Start A Fire by Ryan Star**

**Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer**

**Johan's POV**

I woke up the next morning with Judai's arm around my waist and my legs tangled in his.

I smiled when I realized that one day, we'd be in this position again. Only we'll be sleeping in a house in which we'll live together. One day…

Carefully, I untwisted myself from Judai and went into the kitchen to start breakfast. I made french toast and remembered to put in a few chocolate chips in as a surprise. God knows how much that boy loves chocolate.

When they were finished, I went to check if Judai was still sleeping, which he was. The brunette was facing a different direction now with his wife beater rising just above his navel.

I didn't want to wake him up because he looked so peaceful and also because I was eye-screwing him right now and _ho-ly_ crap. That's the only thing I can say.

But to my disappointment, he stirred and then opened his eyes. "Hey, Johan."

"Good morning, Ju-chan," I said as I crawled over the covers and lay on my stomach next to him.

"Something smells amazing," Judai mumbled. "Did you make breakfast."

I nodded and kissed his forehead. "Yep. And there's a surprise waiting for you."

He smiled. "Really?"

I nodded.

"Is it alive?"

I laughed. "No."

"Is it big?"

I raised a brow in a teasing manner.

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, you know what I meant."

I couldn't help but laugh again. "Ok. Metaphorically or literally?"

"Literally first," he decided.

I shook my head.

"Ok, and metaphorically?"

"To you? Yes."

"Is it food?"

"Yes. And if you don't hurry, it'll get cold," I chuckled.

Judai got out of bed and walked into the kitchen with me following him.

He sat down and looked at me in confusion. "French toast?"

"Bite into it," I told him.

He did and the reaction on his face was beautiful. I wished I had a camera to capture the moment.

"Oh my gosh, Jo-kun!"

"See? Who's a good boyfriend?"

"You are!"

He was so adorable. Sometimes I question how I got to keep him all to myself.

After breakfast, Judai and I went back to my room and I convinced him to play Guitar Hero with me.

He had never played the game before and complained about how I had an unfair advantage, which was true. But I told him if he wanted to play the guitar, this was how he could begin.

"Are you sure, Johan? I mean it's just-"

"Trust me," I said with a smile. "I know, it's not a real guitar but it will help you with your finger placement."

"Ok, if you say so."

I'm not sure exactly how long we played but by one thirty, Judai could play all the songs on easy and one on medium.

"See? You're getting better," I smiled.

He giggled. "This game is so fun!"

So we kept playing. And when three o'clock hit, I thought of something that I had been planning to do for a while. I felt a rush of nausea from my nerves but told myself to calm down. Then I told Judai to get dressed.

"Why?" he asked.

"I wanna take you somewhere."

"Ok. Can I have a hint on where we're going?"

I thought for a moment. "This place is very important to me."

"Is it fun?"

I dodged the question with a joke. "You said one hint and I gave you one hint."

"Can I have another?" he giggled.

I kissed him gently. "Sorry but no."

He pouted.

I covered my eyes. "No!" I laughed. "Don't do that to me!"

"Please, Jo-kun!"

"I'm sorry, Judai but I can't. Can you wait for maybe thirty minutes?"

"Thirty minutes?" he exclaimed.

"Possibly fifteen with my driving."

He sighed. "Ok."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I'm gonna hop in the shower. I won't take long."

"Don't use all the hot water, he said as he sat back down on the bed."

When I was done, I let Judai take his as I got dressed. Once we were ready, I took my keys and helmet and walked to the motorcycle.

I didn't miss Judai's excitement as he got onto the back and put on the helmet as I started the engine.

He wrapped his arms around my waist firmly and then I drove out of the parking lot.

Just as I had thought, it only took us fifteen minutes to get where I wanted to go.

The cemetery's gates would still be open for another couple of hours so I came at the right time.

I turned around to make sure Judai was ok. "How you holding up?"

His smile that I saw we first got on was gone now. "I'm ok. What about you?"

I smiled a real smile. "I'm great."

Slowly, I drove through the gates and down the narrow road until I saw Yusei's tombstone.

I stopped the engine and got off the bike after Judai. Taking off his helmet, I hung it on one of the handles. "You ready?"

He swallowed. "Johan, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why are we here?"

I smiled at him again. "I want him to meet you."

He nodded. "Ok, so, nothing bad happened or anything?"

I laughed and kissed him chastely. "No, nothing happened. You worry about me to much."

"Likewise."

I took his hand. "Let's go."

We walked down the row and stopped at the fifth one.

I got down on my knees and Judai followed my actions. "Hey, Yusei. Happy Halloween." I cleared my throat. "Um, I didn't just come because of the holiday. I wanted you to meet someone that's very special to me. His name's Yuki Judai."

"How's it goin'?" I heard him say behind me.

I chuckled. Talk about levity.

"We've been dating for a quite a while now. And I thought it was only fair for you to meet him. I think it was the last week of September when I finally pulled my head out of my ass and fell for him."

Judai snorted behind me. "I'm glad you did."

I kissed him yet again. "Me too." Looking back at Yusei, I said, "I really miss you Yusei. And I wish you could meet him in person. He really is something."

Judai took hold of my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Well, Judai and I are going to a dance tonight. So I guess we should go get ready. I'll see you soon, Yusei."

"It was nice meeting you, Yusei," Judai said as we walked away.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him to my side. "Thank you for coming."

He giggled. "I didn't really have a choice, did I?"

I smiled. "I guess not. But thank you anyway."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you let me come."

I got back on the back and handed Judai my helmet. "So when we get back, are you going back to your dorm?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

It didn't take us long to get back. Traffic had cleared so it only took us ten minutes.

"I'll see you in a few hours," I had said as I headed toward my dorm.

Judai smiled and said, "I better."

I chuckled and shook my head incredulously. How did I score such an awesome boyfriend?

**Judai's POV**

When it was time, Sho and I headed inside the building and into the gym where the dance was being held.

The music was blasting so loud, I could feel the base vibrating in my chest.

People were already there dancing and I searched through the small crowd for Johan. But he wasn't here yet.

"Hey, Judai!"

I turned and saw Asuka. "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Where's Johan?"

"I don't think he's here yet. Did you come with anyone special?" I asked.

She smiled. "Yeah, I came with Jim."

"Finally!" I shouted. "It was so obvious that you two had something going on."

She laughed. "I've been getting that a lot lately."

"Oh, there you are." Jim squeezed his way through the crowd and stood next to Asuka. "You just disappeared."

"Sorry, I saw Judai and I wanted to talk to him," she explained.

"Hey, Jim," I said.

He nodded. "What's up, mate?"

"Oh, you know, the ceiling, the sky, the universe."

He laughed. "Where's Johan?"

"He's not here yet."

"Oh, he'll be here soon."

"I know."

Only I didn't. I thought I did but I didn't. I had been there waiting for him for almost twenty minutes now. Where was he?

"Don't worry," Sho said as he sat down next to me. "He'll show."

I tried to smile but I think it came out more like a grimace.

After another five minutes, I was ready to go back to my dorm when I heard someone calling my name.

I turned around but I didn't see anyone I recognized so I kept walking.

"Wait, Judai!"

I ignored the voice until the guy ran in front of me, stopping my actions. "Judai, it's me," he said.

I looked up but still didn't know who he was.

"Are you serious?" he laughed. "C'mon, Ju-chan, really look at me."

I didn't need to then. There was only one person who called me Ju-chan. And that was Johan.

"Is that you under there?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What took you so long?"

"I was having issues. I couldn't get my contacts in without poking out my eye."

I giggled.

He was wearing a black a dark vest with a black shirt underneath. His eyes were a bright orange and his hair looked darker than usual. But I guess that was just from the lack of light in the room.

"So what are you supposed to be, anyway?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I'm my own doppelganger."

"I'll say."

Johan looked at my costume. "Well, you look like you just jumped out of Frontierland."

"Good. Then I have achieved my goal."

Just then, the song changed. It was a slow song.

"I love this song," I heard myself say.

Johan smiled. "Would you like to dance, cowboy?"

I took his outstretched hand and followed him to the middle of the dance floor.

Johan must've known the song because as we danced, he whispered the lyrics into my ear.

"_It's not a silly little moment,_

_It's not the storm before the calm_

_This is the deep and dyin' breath of_

_This love that we've been workin' on."_

"_Can't seem to hold you like I want to_

_So I can feel you in my arms_

_Nobody's gonna come and save you_

_We've pulled so many false alarms."_

"_We're goin' down_

_And you can see it too_

_We're goin' down_

_And you know that we're doomed._

_My dear,_

_We're slow dancing' in a burning room."_

We continued to sway to the beat of the song as he sang them quietly. His voice was so melting. I could barely keep myself upright. At some point, I had to start leaning on him for support but he didn't seem to mind. He just kept singing and swaying.

When the song ended, I stood on the top of my toes and pressed my lips against his. It was impossible not to. I mean, after that? Holy crap. The things this boy does to me.

His tongue licked the bottom of lip, asking for permission.

I granted him entrance and our tongues twisted and twirled together.

Johan's hand slid down to my waist and one of his fingers slid down my pants and traced invisible circles on my hipbone.

I moaned involuntarily into his mouth.

I moved closer to him so our chests were touching and kissed him harder.

Johan pulled away suddenly and whispered into my ear, "You wanna get out of here?"

My pants suddenly tightened and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. But I nodded anyway.

We left the dance and went back to Johan's dorm. Once we were in his room, he slammed me against the door and hungrily sucked on my lips and I did the same.

I threw my hat off and started undoing the buttons on Johan's vest. Then I pulled his black T-shirt over his head and smirked when I saw his chest. He had a very nice build, I'll give him that.

Johan pulled off my shirt too and then carried me over to his bed.

We helped each other take the rest of our clothes off and then Johan positioned himself over me and asked me, "Are you sure?"

I took a deep breath before finally saying, "Yes."

"You know once we start, there's no going back, right?"

"I know. I want to."

"Ok."

And then Johan and I opened the door to our own personal Heaven and made sure to lock the door behind us. We wouldn't be leaving for quite a while.

**Johan's POV**

I woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of shouting and slamming.

I rubbed my eyes and looked at the time. Two minutes to midnight.

Judai's head was propped on my chest and my arm around his shoulders.

I closed my eyes and figured that it would stop soon and tried to go back to sleep. But it only got louder.

I opened my eyes and tried to fight my curiosity. But then I heard a voice that I recognized. It was Asuka's. I couldn't understand what she was saying but I knew she was upset.

Carefully, I slipped from under Judai and pulled on some pants, not bothering with a shirt.

I opened the door and saw the gang downstairs in the lobby. I was about to ask what was going on until I heard Jim say my name.

I quickly hid behind the door and continued to listen. But that was the worst mistake I had ever made.

My shock was at an unbelievable height along with my anger. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and announced my presence.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" I demanded.

**Ooooh, cliffhanger. Haha sorry guys. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know I did *wink wink* lol jk**

**Review plz!**

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	16. When The Levee Breaks

**Welcome back! Sorry about the cliffhanger from the previous chapter. And because I'm feeling relatively generous, I'll continue with Johan's POV so you all know what's going on lol well I guess I'll start the chapter now. Enjoy!**

**Song: On The Inside by Daughtry**

**Johan's POV**

"Are you crazy?" Asuka yelled. "We can't tell him!"

"Asuka, we have to," Jim said calmly.

"Sorry, but I have to agree with Jim on this one," said Sho.

Asuka crossed her arms in irritation. "You _do_ realize that Johan has just pulled himself together. And that took him almost two years to do that. How long do you think it'll take him to get better when he finds out that Yusei had a brain tumor."

Sho sighed. "I know. We don't want to see Johan hurt either. He's our friend too."

"And he ain't stupid," Jim added. "He's gonna find out. And I think he should hear it from us."

"But can we just leave it alone for the moment?" Asuka asked impatiently.

"No!" Jim and Sho said at the same time.

Asuka groaned. "Why not? I mean, have you seen the way he looks? He's so happy! How can you just take that away from him?"

"Imagine the pain he'll be in when he finds out," Sho replied.

"_And_," Jim included, "how pissed off he'll be if we don't tell him."

Asuka sighed. "I'm not saying we'll never tell him. I just want to wait it out for a while."

"And how long will be 'a while'?"

Asuka opened her mouth to say something and that's when I spoke up.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" I demanded.

They all wore the same expression. Eyes wide, mouths shaped into small O's and their bodies frigid.

"J-Johan?" Asuka stuttered.

I walked down the stairs very slowly, trying my hardest to keep calm. Then when I was standing in front of them, I said in a low voice, "I'll ask again. Is there something you want to tell me?"

Still they said nothing and I was ready to scream until my face went blue.

"Come on," Jim finally said, taking my arm. "I think you should sit down."

I followed him into his dorm and sat down on the bed while the rest of them sat across from me on the other bed.

"Alright." He cleared his throat. "Where do I start?"

"The beginning would be nice."

He scoffed. "Right. Ok, well, last night, Asuka got a call."

"From who?"

"Yusei's parents. Um, they said that they had gotten a call from Yusei's doctor.

"He said that Yusei had a brain tumor. And that he had only had six months left."

My eyes began to fill with tears but I kept listening.

"And when Yusei's parents got home, they found something in his room. It was a journal."

"Like a diary?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Sorta," Asuka interrupted.

Sho and Jim shot daggers at her and she quickly closed her mouth.

"What was it then?" I asked.

"Letters," Asuka said again.

Jim turned to her. "Babe, you know I love you. But please, shut the hell up."

Wiping the fallen tears from my eyes, I asked, "Who was he writing to?"

"Everyone."

"Define everyone."

"Us. You. His parents. Everyone."

I sniffed and cleared my throat. "What did the letters say?"

Jim swallowed hard. I think I heard it a little. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out what to say next.

The anticipation was killing me. If someone didn't tell me, I was sure to explode. I was extremely grateful when Asuka butted in once more.

"To sum it all up, they said goodbye," she said.

"You know, if you're gonna pitch in," Sho said, "you could at least try being little more sensitive."

"I am being sensitive. Johan asked what they said and I'm telling him."

"Goodbye?" I asked.

Asuka looked over at Jim but obviously, he was done speaking. "Yusei was planning on killing himself before his six months were up."

Suddenly, as rush of anger took over me. "And what? You think Yusei purposely crashed the motorcycle?"

This time they were all silent.

"That is a bunch of crap and you know it!" I yelled.

"Johan, it's the middle of the night," Asuka said softly. "People are sleeping."

I glared at her. "This coming from the one who was practically screaming downstairs! I wouldn't have woken up if it weren't for your hollering."

She looked down. "Got me there," she mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm _so_ done with this shit." I opened the door and slammed the door behind me.

"Johan, where are you going?" Sho asked when he followed me outside.

"Home." I walked over to my dorm and opened the door quietly. Judai was still asleep which was good. I didn't want him to see this. I didn't want to see the heartbreak on his face.

"Johan, you can't go home," Sho whispered.

"And why is that?" I replied in a low voice.

"Because we still have a month of school before winter break."

I scoffed. "I could care less about school." I grabbed my duffel bag from my closet and started throwing my things in there. But I could only fit so much in there. I figured I could just take some of it and use the remainder of my clothes that are back at my house.

"Well if you won't do it for school then do it for us."

I shook my head. "No."

"Do it for Judai."

I froze and looked back at the sleeping brunette. And as I did, I couldn't help but picture the smile on his face whenever I approached him. And the excitement on his face when I took him riding on my bike.

"Johan, please," Sho continued. "Just stay here. We'll work it out."

More tears fell down my face. "No. I can't. If I stay then everyone will be sad and will be too busy worrying about me than themselves."

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?" Sho asked.

I looked back at him. "Because I'm hurting everyone around me. It's better if I just go away for a while. Get my crap together before coming back."

"Johan, that makes no sense at all."

"Sho, can you please leave? I'd like to have a moment with Judai."

His eyes widened. "Dammit, Johan."

"Please?"

Sho looked at me one more time with desperation in his eyes before leaving.

I walked over to the bed and got down on my knees.

Judai was still sleeping and I had no intention to wake him. "I'm sorry, Ju-chan," I whispered. Then I kissed his forehead. And with that, I left the dorm and hauled my duffel bag on my shoulder.

I strapped the bag onto the back of the motorcycle and started the engine just in time for Asuka to jump in front of the bike.

"Johan, what are you doing?" she demanded.

"Leaving," I said.

"Please, just stay here. You don't have to do this."

I smiled an apologetic smile. "But I do. I do."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Humor me."

I sighed. "Asuka, please move out of my way."

"No."

"I'll run you over if I have to."

She stood there for a couple more seconds before moving out of the way and once she did, I sped out of there before either one of us changed our minds.

I drove for hours. It was almost four in the morning when I finally got to my house. I almost drove over to Yusei's house but told myself I'd go in the morning. Right now I needed to cry my eyes out. And sleep if it decided to come.

I unpacked all of my stuff and curled up in my bed. I was kinda proud of myself. I had thought that I'd be a mess by now. But I wasn't. I was just numb. But now that I think about it, it probably wasn't any better than being a mess. But that's how I thought of it then.

Sleep didn't come at first. But quarter to, I finally fell asleep. And that night, I dreamt of the crash for the first time in months.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I woke up drenched in sweat. The nightmare had seemed so new to me. I haven't had one like it for a long time.

I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off of my face. The clock said it was half hour past one.

So, I got up and took a cold shower. And then I got dressed and got on my motorcycle and went to Yusei's house.

I rang the doorbell and only had to wait a few seconds before the door was opened.

Mrs. Fudo stood there with a shocked expression. "Johan, you're here."

I faked a smile. "Hi, Mrs. Fudo."

She sighed. "Oh, you poor thing. They told you, didn't they?"

I allowed my smile to fade away as I nodded.

She stood to the side. "Come on in, sweetie."

I stepped in the doorway and looked at the house. I hadn't been here in years. It looked exactly the same.

Mrs. Fudo suddenly pulled me into her arms and I willingly hugged her back.

"I've missed you so much," she said.

"Me too," I replied. And when I pulled away, she slapped me on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"I haven't seen you in two years!" she yelled. "You better put me on speed dial kid, or I'll open up a can of whoop-ass!" (A/N: Supernatural reference S05E02 lol just had to put that in there cuz it was funny)

"Yes, ma'am."

"Johan!"

I turned around and saw Yusei's dad. "Hey," I greeted.

"It's good to see ya, boy." He too hugged me and ruffled my hair.

"You too."

"So, I'm guessing they told you, huh?" he asked.

I nodded.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Mrs. Fudo finally said, "Why don't you have lunch with us?"

"Ok."

"What would you like?" she asked.

I thought for a second. "Do you still make your famous BTL's?"

She smiled. "I sure do. One bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich comin' up."

I faked another smile before sitting down at the table across from Mr. Fudo.

We sat and ate and talked and I tried my hardest to put some type of emotion in it. But I still felt numb. Detached.

When Mr. Fudo put all of our dishes away, I asked, "Do you mind if I go up to Yusei's room for a while?"

"Of course."

"Thanks." I stood from the table and climbed the stairs two at a time.

Yusei's door was half open and half closed. After taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped in.

Still feeling nothing, I picked up his journal. Just like they had said, they were all letters.

So I sat down on the bed and began to read.

_Dear Johan,_

_You're the last person I want to tell this to but here goes nothing. I just came back from the doctor. I didn't tell my parents that I went. I didn't want them to worry._

_But the doctor said I had a brain tumor and they needed to operate on me. But I needed my parents' consent to do so. Although the operation wouldn't do much. The doctor said that even if they did operate, it would do nothing but postpone the big punch line. I'd only have a year to live. And without the operation, I'd have half the time. Six months._

_Johan, I'm so afraid. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. But I can't just sit here, anticipating my death. I have to just do it and get it over with. It'd be so much easier that way._

_And Johan please, you have to understand that when I die, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. You have to promise me that you'll keep living your apple pie life. I know it's hard. It is. And I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or anyone else._

_Maybe one day, you'll forgive me. But even if you don't, I'll always be there watching over you. Never letting anything bad happen to you._

_I love you, Johan. And I'll miss you._

_-Yusei_

After I read the first one, I felt something. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was something. And I felt it again, only stronger after I read the second one. And after I had read the last one, I had finally broken down into tears.

_To whom this may concern:_

_Whoever is reading this, you'll see that I'm not home. And I'm never coming home again. Don't bother trying to find me because you won't be able to. I'll be riding around on my motorcycle on my way to the beach and you probably won't be able to catch me in time. You know, they say that drowning and freezing to death is the most peaceful way to die. I wonder how they'd know that._

_But anyway, the point is, I'm gone. But before I go, I want to spend my last night with the person I love the most._

_Johan._

_I swear, he's God's greatest creation. And he's everything to me. And when I die, I want to die thinking of him. It'd be an honorable death. At least it is in my book._

_So this is my last goodbye letter. I know it hurts. And I'm sorry. But soon this will all just be a bad memory._

_I'm so sorry. And I'll see you in a couple of years._

_-Yusei_

And I wasn't crying because I missed him -which I do- and I wasn't crying because he spent his last day with me. I was crying because he didn't die the way he wanted to. And that was my fault. I should have told him not to go riding. To just stay inside. It was dangerous to ride out in the rain like so. Especially without a helmet.

I'm not sure how long I cried. But when I was finished, it was quarter after three.

I wiped my eyes and tried to hide their redness. But that was impossible. They were like neon lights screaming, "Look, here! Look here! ß"

I closed Yusei's door and walked down the stairs. "Thanks for having me," I said to his parents.

"You're always welcome here, honey. You know that," Mrs. Fudo said with an apologetic smile.

It took all of the energy I had to smile back to her. Then I left the house and drove back home.

And when I curled back into my bed, I cried some more. Even when I ran out of tears, I kept crying until I finally fell asleep. But sleep was even less comforting than reality.

**Yep that's chapter 16. I won't even bother saying I hope you enjoyed it because it's pretty obvious that you didn't. And if you did then I am going to say this because I care. You have no soul. Lol jk **

**Review plz! And go easy on me, I know most of you hate me right now haha**

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	17. Conflicted Feelings

**Hello again! Lol I know you guys must be seriously mad at me right now but it gets better I promise…wow that was almost like I was talking to suffering gays…well anyway, here's chapter 17.**

**Song: Away In Silence by Creed**

**Judai's POV**

I woke up the next morning and smiled. Johan and I had shared everything the previous night. He took me to Yusei's grave and we talked for nearly an hour. And then we went to the Halloween Dance which was fun. And then back at his dorm, he had asked me if I was ready and I told him yes because I was. That was what I had always wanted. And it was just how I'd imagined it'd be.

He was gentle and caring and loving. He let me take control so I didn't feel afraid. After all I didn't have any experience. Johan said he hadn't either but that was hard to believe.

Johan's skin was soft as we ground against each other. It was absolutely beautiful. I almost wanted to cry.

I turned over, ready to see the face of my special angel. But he wasn't there which made me frown.

Sitting up, I stretched before walking to the kitchen, expecting Johan to be in front of the stove cooking something.

But no one was there.

There wasn't a note from him on the nightstand or on the bed.

Before I let myself panic, I looked out the window. His motorcycle was gone too.

_Maybe he went to run a few errands_, I thought.

But just to be sure, I went to Jim's dorm down the hall and knocked on the door.

Not to my surprise, Asuka answered it.

Her eyes were a pale red and when she saw me, her whole body went white.

"What?" I asked.

"What do you mean, 'What?'"

"What do _you_ mean? What, what?"

"What what?" she asked confused.

"I dunno! What are we saying, 'What' for?"

"Hell, if I know. You're the one who started it."

"Yeah, because you looked like you were gonna hurl. So, what?"

"Nothing."

I narrowed my eyes a little in confusion but shook it off. "Whatever. Do you know where Johan is?"

Her face went white again which made me a little suspicious.

"There's that face again," I warned.

"What face?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"_That_," I said while pointing at her, "face."

"Asuka, stop messing around with him," Jim said from behind here. "Let him in."

"What the hell's going on?" I almost yelled.

"Come in and we'll tell you," Jim said.

I followed them in and sat down on Jim's bed while they sat in the two chairs they had pulled up.

"Should we tell him the whole story?" I heard Asuka whisper.

Jim shook his head. "No. Part of that is Johan's story to tell."

Asuka nodded. "I understand. But do you think Johan will tell him eventually?"

"I have no idea."

I cleared my throat. "You guys aren't as quiet as you think."

Jim sighed. "Ok. Well, something happened."

"Obviously," I interrupted.

Ignoring my comment, he continued. "Johan got really upset. And he thought that he was hurting everyone around him."

"I thought he was over this whole Yusei-thing."

"He was," Asuka said. "But something came up that changed his mind."

_Shit. I knew something was wrong that day. He told me that everything was ok. He lied to me. Maybe we _hadn't_ shared everything the previous night like I had thought._

"What happened?" I asked.

"That's Johan's story to tell," they both said.

I rolled my eyes. _Assholes_.

"Anyway, the point is," Jim said, "Johan left."

"Left where? Where did he go?"

"He said he was going home," Asuka said. "But he could be anywhere by now."

I clenched my teeth. "And no one bothered to see if he was actually telling the truth?"

"He won't answer our phone calls," Asuka said.

I couldn't take it anymore. I left their dorm and went back to Johan's.

Grabbing my cell phone (which somehow made its way into the bathroom sink) and called him.

His phone was on because it rang. When he had it off, it went straight to voicemail.

But he didn't pick up. So I left a message.

"Johan," I said as my voice broke. "I just talked to Jim and Asuka. And I don't know what happened but you need to know that you don't have to do this. Whatever happened, it doesn't matter. We can work through it. Please, Johan. Just come back."

I would've said something more but the sobs I were holding back were breaking through the wall I tried to push them behind. And I didn't want Johan to hear me cry.

The first sobs wracked my body hard. At some point, my legs gave out and I just cried like a little bitch.

My heart was broken. Like a glass vase thrown to the ground. I could feel the sharp edges cutting me as they fell to the floor.

I cried so much that my head started pounding. So I forced myself to calm down and fell asleep in Johan's bed.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I woke up hours later to my phone ringing.

The clock read 4:37am.

I picked it up without looking at the caller id.

"Hello," I croaked.

"Judai?"

I froze. It was him. He called me. But why? I thought he wasn't talking to anyone?

"Johan? Is that you?" I asked just to clarify my suspicion.

"Yeah, it's me. I didn't think you'd be awake."

"I wasn't."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

That word. That last word sent me over the edge. Clenching my hands and teeth, I growled, "For what?"

He was silent for a moment. "If you don't want to talk, I can hang up."

"No. It's almost five in the morning so it must be important." But that's not what I really thought. I was just too desperate. I was royally pissed at him at the moment but there was another part of me that yearned for him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I got your message."

"And?"

"And…and I love you."

Tears filled up my eyes and fell down my cheeks. "No you don't."

"Judai, don't say that."

"Why not?" I cried. "It's true isn't it?"

"No. Not in the least."

"Then why aren't you here?" I wailed.

"Because it'll be easier this way."

"For you or for me?"

"For both of us."

I shook my head. "Johan, whatever stupid thing you're thinking of doing, don't do it."

I heard him swallow. And when he spoke, his voice shook. "I have to. I have to go. I'm sorry."

"What? No! You can't say something like that and then hang up! What's wrong with you?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out."

I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes. "You know what? You take all the time you need, ok? Do whatever the hell it is you need to do, ok? I'm fine, don't even worry about me. _I'm fine!_" And with that I snapped my phone shut and slammed it down on the nightstand.

I should've let it go to voice mail. I shouldn't have even talked to him. That only made things worse. And the only thing I could do was cry. That night I had to sleep on a soaking wet pillow. A pillow that was soaked with salt water and tears.

The next day, it was Saturday. Asuka, Jim and Sho said they were going to the Halloween festival since Halloween was actually Sunday.

I told them to go on without me. I had something else planned.

"Are you sure," Sho asked worriedly.

I gave him my best fake smile. "I'm positive. I promise, I'll be fine." But we both knew that was a lie.

I waited until they were off campus before leaving the Blue Dorm and getting into my car.

It didn't take long before, I saw the big black gates in front of me. I drove though them slowly.

Above the tombstones were big willow trees. It was kind of ironic that they chose to grow here instead of anywhere else.

I stopped on the side of the road and walked down the row where I knew I'd find Yusei.

When I saw him, I got down on my knees.

"Hey," I said. "Um I know this might be kind of awkward. You know because-" His name got stuck in the back of my throat. I almost couldn't say it. "Johan…isn't here. But, um…I need some help. And I think you're the only person I can talk to.

"Um, well, I'm not sure exactly what happened to…Johan." I had to clear my throat then. "But he's really upset. We don't know where he is. He won't talk to anybody.

"I just thought that you could help him. How? I have no idea. But I just want him to be ok. I'm not asking you to bring him back or anything. Just make sure he pulls himself together. I don't want him to be sulking for the rest of his life.

"Thanks, Yusei. It was nice talking to you again. I'll see you around."

**Ok. Yeah, you're still pissed. Uh huh. I guess I kinda deserve it. Especially since the chapter is so damn short haha. Well again, I'll ask for more reviews. But again…go easy on me?**

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	18. No Such Thing As A Good Selfish Person

**Helloooo! Lol sorry I didn't update last weekend. I just got myself hooked into this book, i mean, i've already read before but still, it's freaking awesome. I guess I could've updated **_**before **_**I started it but I guess I was a little lazy.**

**Anyways I hope you guys are ready for chapter 18!**

**Song: Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic**

**Johan's POV**

Why?

That seemed to be the main question I've asked myself so far.

Why did I call Judai, knowing that it'd only make things worse?

Why did I read Yusei's letters? They were his and obviously were meant to be private. Now his words continuously echo in my head.

Why can't things just go back to normal?

I groaned and forced myself to concentrate on the worksheet in front of me.

I figured if I was skipping school, I might as well try to keep my grades up. The fax machine and my laptop have been very useful to me lately.

When I had finally finished it, I faxed it to my teacher.

Then I went back up to my room and plopped back down on the bed. I wished I had more work to do. Because now, there was nothing keeping my mind busy. Nothing to stop the thoughts of Yusei, Judai, Jim, Asuka and Sho. Nothing to stop the guilt from creeping its way in.

_Johan, I'm so afraid…I can't just sit here…Maybe one day you'll forgive me…_

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to stop the voices. But that only made them speak louder. Like a broken record replaying all the hurtful lines over and over again.

And I couldn't help but think it was all like a Shakespearean tragedy. In the prologue he would warn you about all the bad things that would happen. He told you ahead of time that it would get ugly. But when it actually happened, it was like someone threw a gallon of acid in you face. And those fresh wounds would forever be imprinted there. It would never heal.

Just like the tear in my heart. It would forever be there. It might become less bothersome…but it's there nonetheless.

_You know what? Do whatever the hell it is you need to do, ok? Don't even worry about me. I'm FINE!_

I couldn't help the sob that slipped from me then. Everything was my fault. But it was different this time. This time I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to make it better. But realizing that only made me cry more.

I'm not sure what happened but after I let myself cry for a while, I felt the sudden urge to talk to him. I knew it wouldn't fix anything. But that didn't mean I couldn't at least try.

I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. Then I took my guitar and my notebook downstairs before shrugging on my jacket.

Strapping my helmet onto my head, I started the engine of my motorcycle and I drove. I knew it would take a long time but that was good. I needed to time to relax and pull myself together.

On the way there, I heard a song by OneRepublic and I couldn't help but think I ironic it was that I was listening to it.

"_Do you know where you heart is?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?"_

"_Do you know where you love is?_

_Do you think that you lost it?_

_You felt so strong, but nothing's turned out how you want it."_

"_Well, bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

'_Cause you can't let go of anything you hold!"_

"_Well, all I need is the air I breathe_

_And a place to rest my head."_

"_Do you know what your fate is?_

_Are you trying to shake it?_

_You're doing you best dance, your best look_

_You're praying that you'll make it."_

"_Well, bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

'_Cause you won't let go of anything you hold!"_

"_Well, all I need is the air I breathe_

_And a place to rest my head."_

"_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head."_

"_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it better than you had it?"_

"_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it better than you had it?"_

"_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head._

_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head."_

"_Do you know where the end is?_

_Do you think you can see it?_

_Well until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it!"_

"_Just say…"_

I wish that was all I needed. I wish that I could say that was all I needed. But it wasn't. I needed Judai by my side and I needed Yusei to be alive. I needed them for my own selfish reasons. That's how I knew that leaving was the right thing to do.

But about an hour ago, I was thinking that it was wrong to leave.

I sighed. I was having some major conflicted feelings about this.

Soon after, the black gates came into my view. I had no idea time could go by so quickly but I found my way to Yusei's grave.

I took my guitar and my notebook and sat in front of him.

"Hey, Yusei," I said. "Sorry I haven't seen you in a while. I've been caught up in a lot of things lately." I swallowed. "Um, I read your letters. I probably shouldn't have but…Yusei, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

I tried to keep my tears at bay but I couldn't. They fell down my cheeks and onto the ground without my say. "I wish I could go back and change it for you. I hate thinking about the type of stress you must've been under. And you didn't even get to go the way you wanted to." Wiping my eyes again, I continued. "If I had just told you just stay inside with me, none of it would've happened."

I sat there and cried, not saying anything. I just wanted to be here with him. And without realizing, I had picked up my notebook and began writing.

I had no idea what was being written. The words were completely foreign to me as were the chords. But I didn't try to understand it. I just wrote. I almost felt possessed. Like someone was writing this for me. It made no sense.

When I had finished, I closed the book and told myself I'd look at it again later.

Looking at Yusei's grave again, my mind decided it was time to go. But my body wouldn't move. It was paralyzed. So the only option left was to keep talking, which I didn't have a problem with. There were a thousand things on my mind then.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore," I heard myself say. "Am I doing the right thing? I mean, I thought leaving would be better for everyone. All I did was use them. All I did was use _him_.

"All the time, I'd use him like a drug. I used him when I needed to be numb. Whenever I was upset, he was there for me. I was selfish.

"And now that he's upset, there's not a thing I can do. All the times he put me back together when I fell apart, I can't do the same for him.

"But by leaving, I'm giving him a chance to find someone better. Someone who won't treat him the way I did. Selfishly.

"So, I'll ask again: Am I doing the right thing? Should I return to Duel Academia?"

I waited as if I'd actually get an answer.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and said, "Never mind. Thanks for listening. I really needed to get that off of my chest."

I lay my hand on top of his grave and smiled. "Love and miss you."

Then I stood up with my things, and I drove back home, hoping that I wouldn't see anyone I recognized on the way back.

The sun was setting by the time I got back. It was then I had realized the distance between me and Judai.

I winced.

I couldn't even think his name without a pang of guilt.

On the porch, there was a note. It read:

_Expect a visitor tomorrow._

_-A_

A? Who's A? Is that Asuka? Crap. She's probably coming to yell at me. That's just great. Maybe I should just ignore the door tomorrow. But if I do that, she'll just keep coming back.

**Yeah, that's another short chapter. Sorry lol well I hoped you liked the song! Personally, it's my favorite out of this whole fanfic. Well at least so far…it might change haha.**

**Review plz!**

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	19. Go Forward Not Back

**Well, is anyone besides me starting their countdown till summer? Lol I know I am. But it's kinda weird for me cuz I have finals coming up so I'm not sure if I should be happy or stressed haha**

**Ok, enough of my blabbing. Time to start Chapter 19!**

**Judai's POV**

**Song: Catalyst by Anna Nalick**

Ten days, fifteen hours and thirty-two minutes. That's how long Johan has been gone. And every time, I went to bed, I found myself setting my alarm for 4:37 am in the morning in case Johan decided to call again.

But the question was, did I want him to call so I could try to make amends with him or to yell at him. I couldn't tell anymore. I couldn't _feel_ anymore.

Nothing I looked at gave me any emotion. When I talked, my voice was raspy, like I haven't talked in years. My voice was flat and boring. I tried to make it sound normal but it was physically impossible.

I tried to keep his name from coming up in my thoughts.

I tried to keep his bright green eyes from penetrating my sight when I closed my eyes and dreamed.

I tried to turn my body in the direction of my dorm when classes were over. But I always turned to the Blue Dorm.

I tried so many things and each of them backfired. I felt like a failure. I felt sick. And no amount of medication would heal me. There was something missing from me that I simply couldn't replace.

But I wondered…if I _could_ get it replaced, would it have a positive affect on me or a negative one?

And so, I repeat myself: I couldn't tell anymore.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Just the thought of his name made my eyes water and my body tense. It made my heart squeeze painfully and for a second, breathing was unattainable.

Out the window, I saw the parking lot lights go off one by one and the night guards position themselves around the school.

The clock said it was midnight.

_Merry Christmas_, I thought.

I almost got up to see what everyone was doing for the holiday but then realized I was the only one in the dorm tonight. Everyone had gone home to their families.

I would have gone home to my family but I didn't want to ruin their fun. As you can tell, I wasn't in a very cheery mood. So I made up some ridiculous lie about how I had the flu and wouldn't be able to make it.

And to be honest, I didn't really want to go. There was someone else I wanted to see.

I winced.

There it was again. That moment where my body reacted to the thought of _him_.

So instead of staying up and torturing myself, I lay back in the bed and closed my eyes.

His bright green eyes were the first thing I saw. And it hurt. But convinced myself to get through at least four hours of it and then it would be over.

Well, I guess not _completely_ over.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

My eyes snapped open immediately once I heard the alarm go off.

I turned it off and grabbed my phone and flipped it open.

There were no unread messages or voicemails I had missed and I felt my heart sink even lower than it had the last ten times I had checked.

So then I did what I always did next.

I clicked the option: Create New Message.

I typed out the same thing I did every night.

_I love you._ My finger would linger over the send button for exactly five seconds before I exited out of the menu and placing it back on the nightstand.

So I lay back in the bed and try to go back to sleep. But his eyes were there again and I couldn't go through that kind of torture two times in one night. So I sat up and I'd turn on the TV and watch black and white reruns of whatever was on.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVE!**

T'Was the day of Christmas

And everything was quiet and still.

But here he sat motionless,

Poor Judai on the windowsill.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not gonna tell the story like a cheap Dr. Seuss.

There weren't any cars (except mine) in the parking lot and the day guards were there keeping an eye out on the place.

It was almost five o'clock and I was bored. I thought maybe getting out and at least attempting to do something to distract me was the way to go.

So after showering and putting on five layers to keep myself warm, I made my way outside and went to my car.

Of course, when I got in, the engine wouldn't start.

I sighed heavily.

"Fine," I said. "I never liked you anyway. I always wanted something crazy like a sports car or something."

I got out of the car and was about to go back inside but then I remembered that coffee shop just down the street.

I walked through the bitter cold for about five minutes before I heard someone yelp.

Looking to my right, I saw a relatively small person on the ground, rubbing his head. He probably slipped on the ice.

I went over and helped him up.

The blonde boy was about Sho's height, maybe a little taller.

"Thanks," he said as he rubbed himself off.

"No problem," I said in that same boring voice.

"I'm Yugi." He held out his hand and I tried to smile as I shook it.

"Judai," I replied.

Behind him, something caught my eye.

In his garage (well, assuming it's his) was a big black motorcycle, sparkling against the little sunshine that was showing.

"Is that yours?" I asked.

Yugi turned around and looked at the bike. "No, it used to be my brother's. Yami. But he's off in Egypt somewhere, helping some guys find some artifacts or something."

I nodded. "That's cool. So, is it yours now?"

He laughed. "He said I could have it since he got a new one. But I have no idea how to ride it. I'm not even sure I want to learn. I'm thinking about giving it someone."

For the first time, I felt myself smirk a little. "How much are you selling it for?"

He looked at me for a moment. "You'd seriously give me money for that?"

I scoffed. "Who wouldn't?"

He shrugged. "You can just take it if you want."

I raised a brow. "Ok, either you're completely insane or you're hiding some cocaine in there and trying to get me in trouble."

Yugi laughed. "Seriously, just take it. You can even search it for some Schedule 1 drug if you want. I promise you, there's no catch."

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't think I won't check it."

He shrugged again. "Be my guest."

Giving him one more suspicious look, I walked over to the bike and looked at everything closely and carefully.

No drugs, no alcohol, nothing.

"Find anything?" he asked with a smug look on his face.

I glared at him. "No."

He laughed. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

I touched it gently, careful to wipe where I touched so I wouldn't leave a fingerprint.

"So, I can just take it and leave?"

He nodded. "Yep. But you _do_ know how to ride a motorcycle, don't you?"

Well, I guess I should've thought about that. "Yeah," I lied.

Yugi shook his head incredulously. "You don't, do you?"

"Not at all," I admitted.

He rolled his eyes. "Ok. Well, there's this guy that lives around the corner. His house is like, the biggest one there," he laughed, "so you can't miss him. He works at a car shop a couple blocks away."

"Ok?" I said, not really understanding why he was telling me this.

"His name's Haou. He's a little rough around the edges but don't let him intimidate you. If you convince him, he'll probably give you a free lesson."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'll go ask him tomorrow."

Yugi nodded. "Ok. Thanks."

"For what? Isn't that what _I'm_ supposed to say?"

Yugi shrugged. "Well, I guess you are supposed to. But thanks for getting this out of my garage. It just took up space."

I rolled my eyes. "I still think you're insane."

"Not the first time I've been called that. No get the hell out of here before you catch pneumonia."

I took the bike and rolled it back to Duel Academia.

I had to admit, I was kind of excited to meet Haou and learn how to ride a motorcycle.

Eleven days, sixteen hours and fifty minutes after Johan's absence, and I'm beginning to feel again. And that feeling is happiness.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The next day, I was rolling my bike down the street and to the car shop Yugi had mentioned.

There weren't many people there. I only saw one person behind the counter.

I managed to set the bike on its kickstand before I walked in.

"Excuse me," I said.

The brown-haired boy looked up with his abnormally golden eyes. "What?" He spoke that one word so harshly, it was hard not to stagger.

"Um, I'm looking for a Haou? Is he in today?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Judai."

"Judai…?"

"Yuki. Judai Yuki," I stuttered.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "What do you want?"

I furrowed my brows. "Ok, um, I'm looking for-"

"_I'm_ Haou, genius," he snapped. "What do you want?" he asked impatiently.

"Oh. Uh-"

"Anytime today, would be nice," he growled.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Ok, what's your problem?"

He looked up then.

"I've done absolutely nothing to you and you're just treating me like an ass."

He sighed again. "Ok, I'm sorry," he said softer. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. If you want we can cuddle. Maybe even slow dance and cry on each other's shoulders."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine whatever. Forget the _seventy dollars_ I have sitting in my pocket. Whatever, I'll find someone else."

I turned around and headed for the door, knowing he'd call me back.

"Wait," he said.

I stopped.

"Seventy dollars?"

I turned back around. "Yes," I confirmed.

"Ok, so you've intrigued me."

I stepped forward. "You know how to ride a motorcycle?"

"Yes."

Taking the money out of my pocket then, I lay it on the counter and pushed it forward to him.

He picked it up and counted to make sure, it was the exact amount I said it was.

"Would you be willing to give me a lesson?"

He laughed. "You can't be serious!" he laughed.

"I'm very serious."

"Seventy dollars for a_ motorcycle lesson_?"

"Uh-huh."

He smiled. "Wow, ok. Um, my shift ends in about an hour. Meet me back at my house then." He wrote down his address on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

I took it and shoved it in my pocket. "Thanks."

He didn't reply. He only stared at me. So I stared back.

"You can leave now," he said.

"Right. See you later." I turned towards the door and left.

_Awkward…_

Well, I definitely wasn't gonna go back to Duel Academia. It'd just be a waste of time. So just went straight to Haou's house and waited for him in the front.

It wasn't long before I saw Haou walking on the sidewalk.

"You're early," he said without looking at me.

"You're observant," I replied.

He unlocked the door and stepped in. "Meet me around back."

I got up from my spot on the step and rolled the bike into the back.

"Ok," he said once he arrived, "the first thing you need to know is that it's not as nearly as complicated as it looks."

I scoffed. "That's hard to believe."

"Really, it isn't. It's like riding a bike. You just have to keep your balance that's all. That's the main thing."

For the next three hours, Haou taught me all the parts of the motorcycle and what they did and most importantly, how to use them.

I never actually got the chance to get on the bike but he told me, he wouldn't let me on until I had every single part memorized.

I told him that was ridiculous and he replied with,

"Yeah, say that when you have you head split open on a highway."

So I just rolled my eyes and told him I'd see him tomorrow.

The dude was weird, but he was giving me motorcycle lessons every day after he got off work so who was I to complain?

When I returned to DA, I noticed some of the students had returned. Not a lot but a few. At least now, it wouldn't be so lonely in the Blue Dorm.

I parked the bike next to my now completely useless car and went inside.

I was tired and cold. I guess that's what happens when you only get twenty-eight hours of sleep a week in freezing weather.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly. But I failed to notice that his green eyes that usually cause me so much pain, were nowhere to be found.

This time, I actually slept peacefully.

**Yay! A longer chapter for once lol! Yeah, I know you guys are still mad at me. I know you want Johan back. He'll return to Judai soon! Although, I'm making no promises…lol jk**

**I hoped you guys enjoyed reading about Yugi and Haou in this chapter. Review plz!**

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	20. Move Along, Move Along

**SURPRISE! LOL since it's officially summer for me, I've decided to update three chapters today including this one! Every hour, there will be another chapter up. Right now it's 3:00 so at 4 come back here! haha**

**Ok! Remember when I said things would get better? Well that time has yet to come XDXD sorry I just love to mess with you guys. Well, I guess I'll start chapter 20 now.**

**Song: Mercy by OneRepublic**

**Johan's POV**

Every night, I face the same problem. The same problem that I always ignore. It had become routine. But tonight, just an ordinary night, I seemed to be having trouble with it.

My first instinct is to push it to the back of my mind and tell myself I'll deal with it later. I tell myself that it's too late and I'll do it the next day. But I never do.

Was it because I was lying to myself? And maybe my body was starting to shut down from all the stress? That would explain the headaches. And also the reason why I was gaining weight.

For the past week and something days, I have become somewhat of a couch-potato. I never felt like going anywhere and the only thing I did was watch trash TV and play my guitar.

So I told myself that the next day, I'd force myself to go to the gym and burn off the calories. But to do that, I'd have to go to sleep at a reasonable time.

And now I'm back to my first problem. Why couldn't I just go to sleep and be done with it all?

But no. The phone still sat in my hand, highlighting Judai's name in my contacts. All I had to do was press the call button. That's all it would take. But each time, I would tell myself it would only hurt him more if I call…and myself.

But tonight I just had this feeling that I _should_. Even though it might mess things up, I needed to know he was ok.

I groaned.

This was incredibly stupid. I've never had this problem before. I was just upset. Yeah, that was it. Watching Brokeback Mountain can do that to a person.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. I just had to relax. Then I'd be able to go to sleep. But first, I had to get all the distractions away from me.

I picked up my phone and was ready to throw it across the room and smash it to pieces in frustration. But then I stopped and thought.

If something _did_ happen and someone tried to get in touch with me, they wouldn't be able to because my phone was broken. I guess ruining it wouldn't give me any benefit.

Plus, the damn thing cost me almost two hundred bucks so to _hell_ with that.

So I placed it gently back on my nightstand and lay back against the pillows.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

When I woke up the next morning, I felt so good, so well, rested, I wanted to skip taking a shower and brushing my teeth, just so I could go outside and rid myself of the energy, I didn't even know I still had. I wanted to run up and down the street like a crazy person not caring it was freezing outside.

But I forced myself to go through my morning ritual first.

It was cold in the hallway, but that didn't stop me from walking out there with only some old sweatpants on. But I took those off too and hopped into the shower.

The warmth of the shower fogged up the mirrors made the air thick to breathe but I didn't think about that. I thought about how good it felt to be happy again. Thought about how good it felt to _feel_ again.

I don't know what made me change, but I was grateful. Maybe it was because it was the morning before Christmas Eve. Or maybe it was just the thought of doing something other than lollygagging around the house all day. But either way, it felt great.

And as I dried myself off and shook the water from my hair, I sang Looking Up by Paramore.

As I brushed my teeth, I looked at my bare chest. I hadn't gained _that_ much weight but there was definitely room for improvement. You could still faintly see the six pack I had.

I smiled at myself, and quickly went to get dressed so I could begin my workout.

I put on a new pair of sweats on and a sweatshirt with a thin T-shirt underneath.

I tied two knots onto my running shoes and ran out the door and almost fell flat on my face when I slipped on the ice on my doorstep. Guess I had to be more careful as I ran then.

The cold air stung my face and made my eyes water but I continued to run. Energy was still pumping through me which is what kept the smile on my face.

Deciding to take the long way, I continued straight instead of turning left.

I was beginning to warm up now. I could feel the sweat beading up at my collar bone and at my hairline.

I could feel all of the negative thoughts leaving me as I picked up my pace. All of my troubles from last night and from before were momentarily cleared from my mind. The only thing I focused on was my speed.

I went faster and faster until finally I thought I would drop dead. But that's when I saw the gym. So I broke off into a full-out sprint until I was face to face with the door.

I leaned against my knees and took a minute to catch my breath before walking in.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I had spent nearly two hours there. And by the time I was finished, my muscles were tired and I was drenched in sweat. So I figured walking outside in the cold would cool me down.

So instead of running, I walked and took the short way to my house.

I walked slowly, allowing my eyes to drift close when I saw my house coming into view. I couldn't wait to get in there and take another shower to get all the sweat off of me. Plus I needed to cool off.

The cold December air felt great but it wasn't enough, I was still sweating like crazy.

When I opened my eyes again, I froze. I was still excruciatingly hot but that didn't stop the chill that went down my spine and the goose bumps that formed onto my arms.

I had completely forgotten about the mysterious 'A' who said she'd visit me today.

"Alice?" I said slightly breathless. "What are you doing here?"

Alice stood and smiled at me. "Oh, so you _are_ here!" She sighed. "I was beginning to think I had to fill out a missing person's report." She laughed and I couldn't help but smile myself.

Alice always seemed so happy and it was contagious. Although, I still wasn't sure why she was here. But then I told myself that it didn't matter. She was here.

I ran to her and hugged her tight. It felt amazing to see a familiar face. Then I remembered that I had just come from my workout so she was probably inhaling something that smelled like Pepe le pew so I quickly pushed away.

"Sorry, I probably smell really bad," I laughed.

"Don't worry about it," Alice said. "I'm just glad to see that you're ok."

I walked around her and unlocked the door. "Come on in, you're probably freezing."

"Thanks," she said as she walked inside.

"Do you want some coffee or something to warm you up?"

She nodded. "Some coffee would be nice."

Quickly stepping into the kitchen, I poured some water into coffee maker and then turned it on. Then I went back to the living room where Alice waited for me.

"Do you mind if I take a quick shower?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Johan, this _is_ your house. You don't need my consent to take a shower."

I chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

I tried not to take too long in the shower but the feel of the water dripping down my face and cleansing me felt so relaxing. It was all I could do to not sink down the floor and sleep there.

Sighing as I turned the water off, I dried myself off and decided I didn't need to dress up. I mean, it was only Alice.

So I put on a wrinkled shirt and some loose jeans.

Alice was still sitting on the couch but was now sipping her coffee. "I made a cup for you too," she said pointing to the second cup.

I smiled. "Thanks. Um, not to be rude, but why are you here?" I asked. "And how did you find me?"

She held up her finger, telling me to wait as she finished swallowing. Then she said, "Well, it's hard not to notice when you're best student and best musician has disappeared."

I blushed slightly. "Surely, I'm not the _best_ musician."

She shook her head. "Don't second guess yourself, Johan." She ruffled my hair in that way she did with all her students when she was proud of them. "May I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"Why did you leave in the first place?" she asked. "And don't be afraid to tell me to back off. I don't mean to pry."

I tried to smile. "No, it's ok. I wanna tell you." I cleared my throat. "Um, well, you know in the beginning of the year, when we had that music session?"

She smiled at the memory and nodded. "Yes, I remember. I also remember you telling me that you were having some trouble with something." Her eyes were softened. "Is that what this is about?"

I nodded. "It was my boyfriend, Yusei. He died in a crash. And I was with him. But I got over it. Honest, I did." I swallowed. "But then after the Halloween Dance, I overheard my friends talking. They were talking about a phone call that Asuka got from Yusei's parents. They said they found Yusei's journal and it had unsent letters in them."

She nodded, urging me to go on.

"They were goodbye letters." I blinked back the tears as I continued to speak. "He was planning on killing himself. He had cancer and he said he wanted to die an 'honorable death'." I sniffed and wiped at my eyes.

Alice smiled an apologetic smile and cradled my cheek in her hand like my mother once did when she picked me up from the hospital.

I had told her what happened and burst into tears. So she let me rest my head in her lap as I cried and ran her hand down my cheek wiping my tears as Alice was doing now.

"You can stop," Alice said. "You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want."

I shook my head. "No, I have to or else it'll drive me crazy."

"Ok," she said softly.

"Um, so anyway, I felt guilty. Like it was my fault. And I just ran. And the worst thing was, it was right after Judai and I…well we…um-"

"Ah," she said in understanding.

"Yeah."

It was quiet for a minute and then Alice asked, "Do you still feel that way? Guilty, I mean?"

I shook my head. "No, I realize it's not my fault now. It never was."

She looked at me in confusion. "Then, why don't you go back?"

I looked at her then as tears fell down my face again. "I'm scared."

She looked at me with wide eyes. "You're _scared?_ Why?"

"Because, I left with no explanation and I just know they all hate me now," I wailed. "And then, I'd truly be alone and I just can't!"

I normally wouldn't be crying if it had been anyone else. But Alice had always been so good to me. She was always there for me, even when I was making the wrong choices.

She then pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back as I cried. She didn't say anything, just let me get it all out.

When the tears slowed, she whispered, "They don't hate you, Johan. They love you. They love you very much."

"You don't know that," I said, still leaning on her shoulder.

Alice began playing with strands of my hair as she said, "I do know that. I know that because I've been where you are right now, Johan. And it's hard and it sucks. But they don't hate you. They might be mad, but I know for a fact that they don't hate you."

I sniffed again. "What do I do?"

"First, you have to pull yourself together and get ready to go back. You can't hide out here forever because as much as I understand how hard it is, I'm running out of explanations to tell the school board why you've been absent." She said the last part with a laugh and I couldn't help but smile a little too.

"Then what?"

"Then, once you're sure that you won't run away again, you go back. And you prove to your friends and Judai that you're sorry. It'll take a while, but if you stick to your word, they'll forgive you. And it'll be ok again."

It would be hard and it would take lots of courage but I had to do.

"Alice?" I said.

"Hm?"

I looked up at her. "Thank you."

She smiled at me. "Anything for my favorite student."

"I'm probably not your favorite after all the trouble I've caused you."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be so sure."

I stood up and held out my arms so I could hug her properly and she accepted it.

"It's gonna be alright, Johan," she said. "Don't you worry."

When we pulled apart, my phone rang.

I pulled it out and looked at the caller id. It was Asuka.

I took a deep breath before answering. "Hello?"

"Johan! Johan, oh thank, God!" her speech was fast and she sounded breathless and scared.

"Asuka what's wrong?"

"It's Judai. He's hurt."

**Uh-oh, cliff hanger! Lol sorry you guys are probably **_**really**_** mad now but that's just the way it turned out.**

**Don't hate me because I'm updating the next chapter in an hour! haha Review plz!**

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	21. Something To Look Forward To

**Welcome, chickadees! Two down and one more to go Lol well I guess I've tortured you enough...well actually not nearly enough, I should've let you suffer for seven days but I won't go against my word :) Here's Judai's side of the story. Enjoy!…well actually don't enjoy because if you like watching people get hurt, like physically hurt then you need some serious help. Haha juuuuuust kiiiiidddiiiiiiiing**

**Alright, I'm way too high on sugar right now lol I'll start the chapter now**

**Song: Goodbye Apathy by OneRepublic (yeah I know I've been a OneRepublic fanatic lately lol)**

**Judai's POV**

When I woke up, I felt good. Today, I just didn't mind the fact that it was a degree below freezing and that I had to walk all the way down to Haou's house. I didn't mind that Haou was kind of a jackass and I didn't mind that I was _the_ only student still staying here on the school campus.

All I knew was that I was making progress. I wasn't in my usual slump and I was out doing something.

It probably wasn't the _safest_ thing to do but it kept me distracted nonetheless.

When I was dressed and ready, I went outside and hopped onto my bike. I didn't start the engine, I just pushed myself as if I were on a scooter. It actually made things a _lot_ faster.

I was grateful when I had finally reached the auto shop. The warm air felt good on my almost frozen skin.

"Excuse me?"

The man behind the counter looked up. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I was looking for Haou. Is he in today?" I asked even though I knew he was.

The man nodded. "Yeah, he's in the back fixing up a car. He'll be out momentarily."

"Ok, thanks." I sat down in the chair and waited. It wasn't long until Haou walked out with his usual permanent agitated expression and black marks on his hands and a streak on her two on his face.

"Can you _please_ fix that damn car?" Haou growled to the man that was still behind the counter. "The owner F'd it up perfectly and it is _pissing me off to no end!_"

"Alright, alright, calm down. I'll see what I can do." He stepped around Haou and went into the back as Haou sighed loudly.

Standing up slowly, I said carefully as to not make Haou any angrier than he already was, "Haou?"

"What?" he spat.

Wow, ok. So much for being careful. "Um, should I come by another time?"

He took a deep breath and waved it off. "Whatever. It's just been a rough day. Some kid called out sick so now I've got a double shift."

"So I guess there's no lesson today."

Haou shook his head. "No lesson."

"Ok, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," I said as headed toward the door.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Haou asked.

I turned back around and raised my brow at him. "Home. Well not _home_ but…whatever. You know what I mean."

He rolled his eyes. "No." He pointed toward the chairs. "Sit."

Sighing, I sat down.

"My breaks in fifteen minutes. We're going out for lunch."

I froze. Did Haou really ask me out? To have lunch? Can I get a, "Holy crap!"

"What's that look for?" Haou asked.

"You…you mean like a…_date?_"

He just stood there for a minute. Then he said, "Yeah. A date. Then I was thinking I could take you to my house and we could screw like bunnies."

I nodded with a smirk. Sarcasm. Right. Now the question was: Was I disappointed?

And then Haou laughed. Like a real, solid laugh. "Ah, you're funny. Here."

I held out my hands as he tossed me his iPod.

"Keep yourself busy, I won't be long," he said.

I smiled. "Thanks."

I turned it on, expecting to see some heavy rock douchebags. Which I did but that wasn't it.

I mean, I saw a lot of Breaking Benjamin, 30 Seconds to Mars and Seether. But I also saw OneRepublic, Nickelback, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Oh my God, was that REO Speedwagon?

I laughed and looked at his play lists. There were tons like Loud, Angry, Speed but I stopped on one that looked interesting. It just had a J.

I had no idea what it was but I played it on shuffle.

The first song I heard was Goodbye Apathy by OneRepublic.

"_I can't sleep no not like I used to._

_I can't breathe in and out like I need to._

_It's breaking ice now, to make any movement._

_What's your vice? You know that mine's the illusion."_

"_And all at once (as I'm trying)_

_I can help you out (just to keep things right)_

_I'll be what you need, I'll do anything (I'll kill myself to make everything perfect for you.)_

_Goodbye, apathy, so long, apathy."_

Huh. Haou was _definitely_ not the guy he acts like. Interesting. And after listening to the other two songs I couldn't figure out what J stood for. But I decided it didn't matter when Haou came back out and threw his jacket on.

I turned his iPod off and handed it back to him and followed him out. But he stopped when he saw my bike.

"You really shouldn't leave it out like that. Someone could take it," he said to me.

I shrugged. "I don't see why. It wouldn't be much help to them considering I have the keys."

"But still, they could steal it. Hold on." He went back inside and came back with a chain and lock and rolled it to the bicycle rack. "Ok, c'mon."

I hopped into the passenger of his big black truck just as he started the engine.

"So, what are you studying?" Haou asked. "In college, I mean."

I looked at him. He's never asked me something like that before. I mean, it just didn't seem like something he would do.

"Why'd you ask that?"

Haou scrunched up his face in that way I hated. Into the way he seemed to always have it in. "I was just trying to end the awkward silence. Jeez, I didn't know that asking a simple question was so bad."

"Wow, you _are_ perpetually angry."

He glared at me for a moment before looking at the road. "Thanks."

"That wasn't a term of endearment, dips hit," I said, not afraid to be rude right back to him.

"And you're not heading in the right direction either, dick."

I laughed. Why, I don't know. And Haou laughed with me.

"English," I said. "I'm studying English."

"Like the language?"

I shook my head incredulously. "No, like writing, grammar stuff like that."

He was quiet. "Seriously? Wow, you're just _full_ of surprises."

"Wow, you're just _full_ of sarcasm," I mocked.

"Actually that wasn't sarcasm but I guess I do use a lot of that, huh?"

"You don't say."

"Alright, now you're just bragging."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

Haou pulled into the parking lot of the café that wasn't too far from Yugi's house.

I got out of the truck and walked into the café behind Haou. "Not that I'm complaining but why'd you tag me along to lunch?" I asked.

Haou looked at me, silently asking for elaboration.

"I mean, you could've gone by yourself and saved money. Now you have to pay for two because I only have a five on me. The rest is in my wallet which is in my dorm."

He shrugged. "I could've kicked you out if I wanted to. I was actually close to since I was so ticked off. But I thought it would be mean if I sent you home after you came all the way out here."

I sat down at the table across from him. "And since when you care if you're being mean or not?" I asked lightly.

"Since you gave me seventy dollars for a dumb motorcycle lesson."

I almost laughed until I saw his face. He looked like he was completely serious which made me feel like a burden.

"Dude, I'm kidding."

I scoffed. "Well it would be nice if you smiled every once in a while."

He gave me the most sarcastic smile ever and I just shook my head at him.

Then our waitress came. "Hi, my name is Jenny, I'll be your waitress today. What can I get for you guys? Or do you need another minute?"

Haou looked at me, allowing me to go first.

"Um, can I have a salad please?" I said.

"Sure. And you, sir?"

Haou just shook his head at me. "Scratch that off. He'll have a steak. And make that two."

"Ok. I'll assume you'd like that with fries. Drinks?"

"Mountain Dew," we said simultaneously.

When Jenny was finished writing it down, she said, "Be right up shortly." And then she walked away.

Haou rolled his eyes. "_I'll have a salad, please._"

"I don't sound like that!" I laughed.

"That's what you sound like to me."

I shook my head. "A steak?"

"What? You're really gonna tell me that you don't like steak?"

I couldn't say no to that.

"Exactly. You just look like the type of dude who likes steak."

"You're very strange," I said.

"And you're not? I did see the way you were rolling on your bike like it was a scooter."

I laughed.

When Jenny came back with the stake, we weren't able to talk because he were too busy stuffing our faces with way too big bites. It didn't take us long to finish.

"You ready to go?" Haou asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

He left a twenty on the table and then we left.

Soon we were back at the auto shop.

"Thanks for lunch," I said.

"Well a man does have to eat," he replied. "See you tomorrow, Judai."

"Bye."

I had learned a lot of things in that one hour. One: Haou wasn't really a douchebag under all that armor he's got covering himself. Two…well actually now that I think about it, that's all I learned. But that's a big. And I'm not talking big like a seven foot long hotdog, I'm talking big as in the Eiffel Tower big.

So I sat back in my dorm for about six hours until I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't wanna spend another second in here.

So I went outside and got on my motorcycle and started the engine. I knew all of the parts to the motorcycle and how they worked and I figured one ride wouldn't kill me.

I strapped on my helmet and pulled up the kickstand.

Then, I started off slowly. I wasn't even going ten miles an hour. And just like Haou said, it wasn't complicated at all.

And when I was out of the parking lot, I had no choice but to speed up to twenty. I was a little nervous at first but it didn't take long for me to get the hang of it. I knew Johan would be proud of me.

Johan.

It didn't hurt to think his name anymore. I mean, I was still upset he left but I realized that moping over him wouldn't make it better. And if he decided to come back, I'd rub it in his face that I didn't need jack squat from him. I was perfectly fine without him.

So I sped up to twenty-five. Then thirty. And soon I was going almost seventy miles an hour. And it was easy because not many people were out driving since it was winter.

I saw a traffic light coming up so I began pressing down on the brakes just as Haou explained it.

But that's when the trouble started.

There was ice on the road so I panicked and pressed brakes harder but that didn't help.

The light was red and I could see cars on the other side begin to move and my bike was still sliding.

Finally I let out the scream that was building up in my throat and prepared myself for the worst.

I could hear the tires sliding against the road as I was slammed into my a black Ford.

The force threw me off of the bike and onto my bike. My right knee was searing with so much pain, it made my eyes water. I was sure it had fallen off completely.

"Judai-kun!"

I forced my eyes open and saw Haou running toward me.

"Are you crazy?" he yelled. "The hell were you thinking? You don't even know how to _ride_ the bike! God damnit! Shit, I'm so sorry. Where are you hurt?"

I swallowed. "My right leg."

Haou looked down as did I. The pant leg had been ripped open and there was a big stain of red on them. "C'mon, we gotta get you to a hospital." He carefully wrapped his arm around my back and my legs and carried me to his car. Then he ran back and got my bike and threw it in the back.

And when he got into the car, he pressed down on the gas pedal so hard, the tires squealed before we began moving.

"I'm sorry about your car," I managed to say.

"Judai, you got hit by a freaking _truck._ I think a human being is more important than my truck."

"Still I'm sorry."

He sighed. "Don't be. But why were you riding it anyway?" he said angrily again. "I mean, I told you not to ride it without me. Seriously, Judai, what the hell?"

"Just so you know, I was doing fine," I snapped. "The only reason why I got hit was because of that stupid ice."

"Well, I guess now you'll be following the speed limit now won't you," he retorted.

"Says the man who's driving over eighty miles an hour."

"You could possibly get your leg amputated if I don't hurry so I'm sorry if I actually like seeing you walk on two feet."

I crossed my arms and pressed my lips together. I didn't even think about losing my leg. Great. I'm now officially a crippled man.

The tears that were in my eyes fell then. I didn't care that I looked like a pansy in front of Haou because like he said, I just got hit by a car. I've earned the right.

When Haou saw me, he sighed but didn't say anything.

Finally we were in front of the hospital.

Haou quickly hopped out of the truck and took me into his arms again as he ran into the emergency room.

"Yo!" he yelled. "I need some help over here!"

The doctors turned and came over with a stretcher.

"What happened?" one of them demanded.

"I hit him with my truck, I didn't see him," Haou said, not taking his eyes off of me.

When they started to push me down the hallway, Haou went crazy.

"No!" he said. "I'm not leaving him!" His unnatural golden eyes began to glow which scared the crap out of the doctors and nurses.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you'll just have to wait."

And I didn't get to see the rest before I was turned behind the corner but I could hear the profanities coming from Haou's mouth and it made me smile.

I knew I would be ok because if I wouldn't Haou would lose his mind which to me would be an amusing sight and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I think he's hallucinating," one of the doctors said and I just rolled my eyes.

Finally, I was rolled into a room with even brighter lights than in the hallway. Jeez, were they trying to blind me?

"Now, just relax," the lady said. "All we're gonna do is put you to sleep so you won't feel anything, alright?"

I nodded.

She put the mask on me and I took deep breaths of it. I wasn't sure I could take the pain in my leg anymore. So you can imagine my relief when the pain simmered down to an itch and my vision began to blur. And I was out like a light.

**Ok, so that's chapter 21. I hoped it wasn't too bad. Review plz!**

**And don't forget to come back here at 5! lol**

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	22. Patience Is A Virtue

**Suuuuummmmeeeerrrr Lol still can't get over it. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Alright, last one for today ****haha well, time for chapter 22!**

**Song: Prodigal by OneRepublic**

**Johan's POV**

"Even after his crash on a _motorcycle_ you wanna ride that thing?"

I brushed past her and threw my leather jacket over my grey sweatshirt. "Trust me, I can get there a lot faster on my bike." I pulled my hood over my head and strapped my helmet over top of it.

"There's ice all over the roads. Just promise me you'll be careful," Alice said with worry.

I looked at her. "I swear on the Holy Bible, I will not die."

She glared at me. "That's not what I-"

I started the engine and stopped her in the middle of her sentence. "Bye, Alice!" And then I was off.

I probably shouldn't have left her like that. It was rude but at the moment, Judai was more important to me.

I had to know that he was alright. And I had to tell him I was sorry. And that I was still madly in love with him. There was no excuse for what I did to him and if he wished never to talk to me again, I'd respect it.

But I was done running. It would be hard to go back but just seeing his face would be enough for me. Watching him be happy again instead of listening to him cry over silly ol' me.

I revved the bike and went faster. I was thankful that the hospital wasn't that far away. Because soon I was right in front of the building.

I put the bike in park and let it rest on the kickstand as I ran inside and to the lady sitting behind the desk.

"Excuse me," I said slightly breathless.

She looked over her glasses at me. "Yes?"

"Can you tell me what room Yuki Judai is staying in?"

She stared at me for a moment longer before moving her eyes to the computer screen and tapped her fingers against the keyboard. "Room 327, second floor."

"Thank you." I ran toward the elevator but then stopped. It'd probably be way faster if I took the stairs.

I sprinted up them, taking two, refusing to stop and take a breath. I nearly tackled a nurse to the ground and twisted my ankle but I kept running and until I found the second floor.

I walked down the hallway, slowly looking at all the room numbers.

_331...329...327!_

I ran through and saw the brunette with an ace bandage over his right knee. Otherwise, he seemed unharmed which caused me to sigh in relief.

His eyes were closed but I could see them dancing behind his eyelids as he dreamed.

I walked in further and saw a boy sitting in a chair across the room. I was going to introduce myself until I got a good look at him.

"Judai?" I asked in confusion.

He rolled his eyes. "Why does everyone confuse me for him?" he growled.

I lifted my brow. "Who are you?"

"Haou."

"I'm Johan." I offered him my hand but he just stared at me, not making a move to shake it. So I dropped it to my side. "Is he alright?"

Haou stiffened and clenched his teeth before saying. "He dislocated his knee so the doctors had to put it back in place. And also his ACL was slightly so they had to move his knee without damaging it any more than it already was." He cleared his throat. "His right side's banged up pretty badly so it'll be sore. But there weren't any broken ribs so he'll be alright."

I nodded. This was good. Judai wasn't in too much pain. He was ok. "And the brace?"

Haou looked up at me, his golden eyes seeming to be burning my face, where he stared. His hands clenched into fists as he closed his eyes and sighed. "The doctor's said his ACL is damaged permanently, so I don't know. It's probably one of those things where you put it on once you feel like it's giving you trouble-you know, why don't you just ask the man when he gets back," he barked.

"What's your problem?" I demanded. "How do you even _know_ Judai."

But Haou wasn't looking at me anymore, he looking around me, his eyes softer than they were before. But then they came back to me and if looks could kill, I'd be a pile of ash right now.

I turned around and saw Judai was awake. His eyes were wide and frightened as he looked at me. The tears in his eyes sparkled against the light but they never fell. He just looked at me. I could read everything in them.

Pain, sorry and anger.

"What are you doing here?" he said. He had to purse his lips to keep them from trembling. "Why are you here?"

I swallowed. "Can we talk for-"

"No!" he shouted. "I don't want to see you. I don't _ever_ want to see you. _You_ made that abundantly clear when you decided to just disappear with no rhyme or reason."

I shook my head. "No, Judai, I can explain. If we can just talk for a minute, I-"

"No." Haou stood up. "You heard him. He wants you to leave."

I balled my hands into fists. "If he wants me to leave, he needs to say the words. Not have you misinterpret his body language."

"Leave," Judai said harshly.

I looked at him. _Seriously?_

Haou turned around and put on a sarcastic smile and gestured to Judai. "Hear that? 'Leave,' he said. Now leave."

I almost turned around and left the room. But I knew if I was doing this, I had to stand my ground. "No."

I looked back at Judai. "I'm just asking for five minutes. That's it. You'll never have to see my face again."

"Dude, are you serious?" Haou laughed. "Are you really making this into a soap opera? You know what they don't do in soap operas?" He balled his hand into a fist and punched me in my jaw.

Haou gripped me by the collar of my jacket and looked like he was about to kill me until Judai pulled him off of me.

"No! Haou, don't hurt him!"

Haou looked at him as if he hand lost his marbles. But Judai wasn't looking at him. He was looking at me. "Five minutes," he said.

Haou sighed but left the room, making sure the slam the door on his way out.

Judai limped back to bed folded his hands in his lap as if he were in elementary school. "Before you say anything," he started, "You need to hear my side first."

I nodded and took a step to sit down on the bed but Judai shook his head at that.

"Don't come any closer."

Ouch. That hurt. But I walked over toward the chairs and sat down.

"Ok, um, I'm gonna pretend that there was a really good reason why you left after we had sex and not that you just wanted a one-night stand. But either way, that really hurt me." He took a deep breath and continued. "Now, I don't know about you but I felt like I couldn't breathe. And when you called, just to tell me that you were leaving me, made it worse." He shook his head. "I mean, to me, that made me feel like you thought I was stupid and I didn't know what a breakup looked like."

I had to purse my lips to keep from interrupting.

"I know, I shouldn't have said some of the things I did but, _really?_ I honestly don't get it."

I couldn't take it anymore. "It wasn't a one-night-"

"Yeah, I told you to stop talking."

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"But Johan, I was _trying_ to get over you," he said, the tears coming back to his eyes. "I was doing fine. I could even say your name and not feel a pang in my chest. I felt like I was making progress. And then all of a sudden, you show up in the doorway…?

"No, Johan, it can't be this way. You have to go. It's not gonna work."

I cleared my throat. "Can I talk now?"

He scoffed. "What more is there to say?"

"A lot."

He wiped his eyes and leaned back against the pillows.

"I was wrong to leave. Especially with no explanation. And it was wrong to call you that night knowing it'd only hurt the both of us more."

Judai looked at me then.

"And I would explain everything to you but," I stopped to look at my watch, "we only have two and half minutes left and if I don't finish then, Haou's gonna kill me."

Judai's mouth twitched up.

"But you have to know that I am _so incredibly_ sorry. And I'll do anything to prove that to you. And I am still in love with you. You have to believe me when I said that leaving you was the absolute worse thing that has ever happened to me. And trust me, I've been through a whole pile of shit this past couple of days."

Judai sat up again. "What happened?"

I shook my head. "No. I won't tell you now."

He rolled his eyes. "What because of, Haou?"

I shook my head and laughed. "No, not because of him. I just don't want you to think that I'm telling you as bait for you to take me back. I want you to decide on your own accord."

He swallowed and nodded in understanding.

I turned and headed for the door but Judai said,

"Wait."

I turned back around.

"Johan, I believe you. I'll admit, you've made some pretty ugly mistakes lately but I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose," he said. "And I know that you love me. And I can deny it all I want but you and I both know that I still love you too."

Tears filled my eyes as I tried to smile.

Judai smiled too. "But I need some time to think. Because I honestly don't know where any of this is going. I never did. And it scares me. And I don't think you know either."

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

"Johan, I'm not saying never. But not only that but you have some _major_ brownie points to make up."

I nodded. "I know."

He took a deep breath. "And I need you to go. You said you wanted me to decide on my own accord. And I will. But you have to leave. I can't do it with you here."

Nodding once again, I opened the door, stepped around Haou and left. That was all I needed. I didn't deserve a second chance but he was giving me one. And all I could think about was Alice. This was exactly what she told me would happen.

When school started again, I was _so_ buying her flowers and chocolate.

This time, I took the elevator down to the lobby. Much easier.

I got back into the cold and hopped onto my bike and started the engine. And then I made a left instead of a right. I was going back to Duel Academia. Back to where it all started.

It's about damn time I right some wrongs.

**Soooooo? I know it's been rough lately but c'mon you have to admit, that **_**is**_** a bit better don't ya think?**

**Well, anyways, I hoped you guys liked this chapter! It was short but still enjoyable…hopefully.**

**Review plz!**

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	23. Sex Drive

**Wow, we're getting pretty damn far in this story, huh? Lol I'm lovin it! Hope you're ready for chapter 23!**

**Song: Addicted by Saving Abel**

**Judai's POV**

As Johan left the room, I was confused.

I mean, when I first saw him come in, I felt my heart beat faster. After all of the things I had said about not needing him and how I was doing just fine without him…when he showed up, I felt like I was going to vomit.

But after Johan and I talked, I started to think, he wouldn't be here if he truly didn't care about me.

And that's when things got confusing. I knew that I loved Johan and I knew that if he asked, I would take him back. But I was scared of being hurt again.

No matter how many times I told myself, or how many times _Johan_ told me, I just couldn't grasp that maybe I wouldn't get my heart re-broken.

Haou walked back into the room moments later and sat down in the spot Johan was in.

"You good?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Haou took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Judai, I um…you…"

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at him.

"I'm no good at this."

I couldn't help but giggle then. "And what is it exactly that you're trying to do?"

He groaned. "Look, Judai, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you and I'm sorry about whatever that kid did to you but…um…"

I crossed my arms and tried to be patient.

"…ok, I know I'm not the most polite guy in the world," he said. "But I want you to know that I _really_ like you."

My eyes widened involuntarily.

"Whenever I'm with you…I don't feel like I have to guard myself like I usually do," he said. He cleared his throat again and scratched his head. "I just thought that you should know that."

Haou stood up then and was about to walk out the door when I got out of the bed and caught his arm before he could leave.

He turned around and narrowed his eyes. "You shouldn't be straining your knee like tha-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his.

Haou was still for a second, and then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. His hands tangled themselves into my hair.

He licked the bottom of my lip to ask for permission and it was then that I realized what was happening.

I should've pushed him away and I should've told him that I was sorry that letting that happen. But I did neither. I opened my mouth and let his tongue twist and turn with mine.

And when the kiss was finally over, I wanted to say, "I'm sorry, Haou. I shouldn't have done that." But what came out was, "I like you too."

What. The. Hell.

I was a complete and utter failure. I mean, seriously, how could I do that to Johan? I told him I would think about it and then I just go, not even two minutes later and kiss another guy?

"Rest your knee," Haou said, "and I'll come pick you up tomorrow."

I nodded. "Ok."

Haou opened the door but I shut it closed again. "What?"

"I don't blame you for the crash," I said. And then I opened the door and Haou walked out with a…smile? Really?

And so I've seen it again. A real smile coming from the dark and pessimistic Haou.

I groaned. Again with the conflicted thoughts. What's going on with me?

I plopped down on the bed and closed my eyes and thought.

Tomorrow there would be no more lies. I'll tell Haou the truth and he'll probably hate me forever but it was nobody's fault but mine. And the, I'd tell Johan. I'll lose him too. But I couldn't just keep it a secret. It was wrong and I knew that Johan wouldn't have kept it from me.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The next day, Haou picked me up just as he had promised and I was determined to tell Haou the truth once we were in his car and no one could hear us.

But when we got there, he unexpectedly kissed me again and it was like magic. The thoughts I had before were completely gone as out mouths mended into each other.

Haou pulled away and smirked at me and I did the best I could to smile back at him.

He opened the door for me and as I got into the passenger seat, I couldn't help but think that I was the worst person on earth.

I was gonna tell Haou how I felt but now I just…couldn't. I couldn't bear to see his face once I told him.

"So you want me drop you off at your dorm or should we go to my place?"

_My dorm_, I thought. "Your place," I said.

Haou smirked again. "I was hoping you'd say that." He started the engine and headed back down the road.

"Is your knee feeling alright?" he asked.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, it's fine."

He nodded. "Cool." He turned on the radio and was glad that he did, otherwise it would've been an awkward silence for the rest of the drive.

When we got to his house, Haou helped me out of his truck and led me inside.

I realized that I'd never seen Haou's house before. And surprisingly, it was neat. I pictured it cluttered with magazines and empty beer cans.

"So, what do you wanna do?" he asked.

I shrugged. "You're the one who invited me. I thought you'd have something planned."

He chuckled. "Guess I just wanted the glory of taking you home." And he kissed me again, except it was different this time.

It was slow but rough. Filled with lust and I couldn't deny the sudden tightness of my pants.

Haou pulled away though and winked at me and I almost lost it then. "C'mere, I wanna show you something."

I followed him outside to his truck and saw him lift my bike from the trunk and put it on the ground.

"You fixed it?" I asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Yeah, it wasn't all that bad. So last night, I took it to the shop and I replaced a few parts and now it's as good as new."

I smiled. "Thanks, Haou."

He nodded. "But no more speeding, or I'm taking it away from you."

"I swear."

So, Haou pushed it into his garage and ordered us a pizza. We watched a few movies but during the third movie it was beginning to be hard to watch.

We were watching Adventureland and if you've never seen that movie, well all you need to know is that all it's about is sex.

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating but there _are_ a lot of sex scenes in that movie. So you can imagine why it was hard to watch.

Haou had gone from innocently playing with my hair to tracing circles on my neck. And then he replaced his fingers with his lips.

I couldn't help but moan lightly. His touch was soft but addicting.

I turned my neck so Haou could have more room and he moved up from my neck to my jaw and eventually found my lips.

The feeling was so good it was almost painful.

"Judai," Haou moaned.

"Hm?"

"I _have_ to have you."

I pushed him back and sat in his lap and removed his shirt. His chest was slightly damp with sweat and the lights made it glisten perfectly.

Haou smirked and took my shirt off too. And when he began to fondle with the button of my jeans, a single word went through my mind. Or maybe I should say name.

_Johan_…

"Wait," I said as I jumped back to the other end of the couch.

"What is it?" Haou asked. "What did I do?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, I…I'm sorry."

He furrowed his brows. "What are you ta-" he stopped himself short and paused for a moment. "Is it that kid? Johan?"

My eyes filled up with tears. "I'm so sorry," I said as my voice cracked.

He stood up and raked his hands through his hair. "Why?" he yelled. "Why'd you do it?"

A tear fell down my face.

"I told you how I felt about you yesterday. You could've told me then that you didn't feel the same! You didn't have to use me like this!"

"I'm s-"

"Stop saying that!" he growled. "What, is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that supposed to make everything go away?"

I nodded as I wiped my face. "You're right. I shouldn't have done what I did. I don't know what happened, I just-"

"Just shut up," he said. "You know, if you wanted him back so badly, you could've taken him."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know, I'm…never mind."

He stared at me for a second. And then he said, "Leave."

I stood up and put my shirt back on. Then after putting on my sweatshirt and jacket, I went to the garage and got on my bike.

As I started the engine, I heard Haou mumble from the doorway, "No speeding."

I sighed and drove back to Duel Academia.

And as I drove back into the parking lot, I saw Johan's bike there and took a deep breath. I'd just go in there, get my stuff and then I'd go back to my dorm.

I took another deep breath and walked into the blue dorm and knocked on Johan's door.

He opened the door seconds later and his eyes widened. "Judai, what happened?"

"Huh?"

"You're eyes are red, are you ok?"

Oh, yeah. The crying. Haou. Ugh.

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just came to get my stuff and then I'm leaving."

Johan stepped aside and let me come in and grab my things. He didn't say anything which was a relief. And soon I was heading out the door.

"Sorry, for intruding," I said.

Johan shook his head. "You're always invited here."

I tried to smile and then I left and went to my dorm.

Once I was back in my old bed, I let myself cry for the rest of the night.

**Sorry, another short chapter. I hope some of you selfshipping fans enjoyed this chapter :)**

**Review plz!**

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	24. Sweet Home, Duel Acadamia

**What up, what up? Lol who's ready for chapter 24? I am! WOOOOOT!**

**Song: Innocent by Taylor Swift**

**Johan's POV**

As I walked back into my dorm and sat down on my bed, I realized that this place, in this very spot, I never felt more at home than right here.

Not even at my house, with pictures of Yusei lining the windows and the walls. It was right here, where the air still smelled like Judai and where next to every picture of Yusei was a picture of Judai.

It reminded me that there were two special people in my life and they would never leave me under any circumstances.

This place was where I met my best friend/teacher, Alice. She looked out for me and without her, I'm not sure where I'd be.

And also, this was the place where my career moved further into my reach. It wasn't as impossible as I once thought just a few years ago. I knew I could do it and I owed it all to Yuki Judai.

He awakened what I thought was forever dead in me. He gave me inspiration, he gave me courage and most of all, he gave me my life back.

I didn't care how long I'd have to wait, or even if he decided not to come back, it didn't matter because he put me in a better place than where I was when he found me.

And that's why I had hope.

If he decided to leave me, yes, I'd be upset, but I'd learn to get over him. He taught me how to do that with Yusei. He taught me that I should never give up on love, even if it is painful.

But let me tell you one thing, that does _not_ mean that I was giving up. Not yet.

I'd do anything to get him back. And if that meant staying away for a while, then that's what I'd do.

I pulled out my song journal and my guitar and started strumming notes until I found something that sounded good.

After about an hour, I was almost finished when someone knocked on the door.

I opened it and saw Alice there.

"Ah, thank God, you're ok!" She pulled me to her and hugged me. "I was so worried."

"Sorry," I said. "I probably shouldn't have left you there like that."

She smiled. "It's alright, I understood. You needed to get to him. And I forgot to ask, how's he doing?"

"He's gonna be fine," I said. "His knee's a bit messed up but it's nothing fatal."

"That's good."

I nodded. "Yeah, I was so relieved when I found out."

"Well, I just wanted to stop by and make sure ev-" she stopped and looked at my chin. "What happened to you?" She gasped. "Did you fall off your bike?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "No, I didn't fall off. I just got off on the wrong foot with someone today."

"Was it someone from here?"

"No."

She sighed. "Does it hurt?"

I shrugged. "Nothing a little aspirin can't take care of."

"You're sure?"

I laughed. "I'm fine, I promise."

"Ok, but let me know if anything else happens."

"You'll be the first person I run to."

She smiled. "Good. No more, fighting, Johan. I'll see you Friday."

I nodded and closed the door behind her.

Alice was so good to me. I had absolutely no idea where I'd be without her. I mean, I still had my friends Asuka, Jim and Sho. But when they weren't available, I always had Alice.

I sat down on my bed and continued writing the song. It didn't take long to finish. So afterwards, I put everything away and decided it was time for sleep.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

The next morning after I woke up, I took a run around the school for exercise. I was still trying to burn off the calories from my previous slump.

Then, I watched reruns of crappy TV shows and played some of my older songs, just to keep my busy. I had absolutely nothing planned today. I was looking forward to school starting up again tomorrow. I was tired of sitting around doing nothing all day.

Cars pulled in one by one over time, since school was starting again.

The windows were frosted with ice and snow and I could see my breath if I stood by the window and exhaled.

I kept messing around with my guitar and my keyboard, creating songs, just to keep me busy.

Some of them make absolutely no sense at all and some of them were so crappy, I almost ripped it out of my notebook.

But then there were the ones that I thought were so great, I almost ran to Judai to play them for him. But I knew I couldn't.

And just when I thought I couldn't take not seeing him anymore, he knocked was at my door.

His eyes were red and his pupils were dilated. He looked like he was shaking and I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from something else.

"Judai, what happened?" I asked. "Are you ok?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He cleared his throat. "I just came to grab my stuff and then I'll be out of your hair."

I stepped aside to let him in.

He moved fast, as if a bomb were about to explode if he didn't leave/

I wanted to offer him to stay, just for a drink. Or maybe just to talk, since I didn't exactly get to tell my whole story back at the hospital.

But I knew I couldn't. I couldn't push him. He needed to figure this out on his own and he couldn't do it with me hovering over him.

"Sorry to bother you," he said as he walked toward the door.

"You're always welcome here." I didn't mean to say it. I mean, I did, but I didn't want him to think that I was using that as an excuse for him to stay.

But he looked at me and I thought is saw a small twitch at the ends of his mouth. He was trying to smile but it just wasn't working.

Whatever happened, it didn't look like it was doing him any good. Or maybe it was just the aftershock of seeing me. I wasn't sure but I didn't ask.

Judai left then, fresh tears in his eyes and I so desperately wanted to wrap him in my arms and tell him that everything was ok. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to worry because I'd take care of him.

But how could I say that if I was the cause of his current state of being?

I felt guilty and I felt sick. Not because of that horrible version of Judai I just saw but because of the fact that there might not be a way for me to put him back together. I really messed up this time and don't think I could fix him.

I didn't think that things would ever be the same after this. There would be a permanent scar in our relationship if he ever decided he wanted us to have a relationship again.

I didn't know what to do and I knew that there was only one person I could run to.

Alice.

I walked outside into the cold and raced to the building where I could hear the heat blazing through the vents.

When I finally reached her room at the end of the hall, I knocked softly on the door.

She smiled when she saw me. "Hey, Johan."

I walked in. "You're not busy, are you?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. What's up?"

I shrugged. "I just needed someone to talk to."

Alice smiled gently at me. "Is it Judai?"

I nodded as I pulled up a chair and sat down. "He stopped by today, just to grab his stuff." I cleared my throat. "But when I saw him, his eyes were red like he was crying. And I know it was because of what I did."

Alice took my hand and squeezed it, asking me to continue.

"I tried talking to him before, but he said he needed time." I shook my head. "But I don't think he'll ever forgive me, Alice. I just don't know what to do."

Alice shook here head. "Trust me," she said, "I've seen the way he looks at you. He still loves you. Very much. He's not just gonna throw it all away for one simple mistake."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Johan, I've been married nearly seven years. I know what love looks like and I know when it lasts and when it doesn't.

"And when I look at Judai, I can see in his eyes that he'd do anything for you, even if he were mad at you."

When she said that, I thought back to when I first arrived at the hospital. And when Haou punched me, Judai jumped out of bed and asked if I was ok.

"Don't worry, Johan. Everything's going to work out fine," she promised. "Alright, enough with the sad." She reached over to grab something from her desk. It was a clipboard. "There's another talent show coming up. Do you want to be the first person to sign up?"

With a smile, I took it in my hands and signed my name. "Awesome. So, what's this one for?"

She shrugged. "Just as a welcome back party, I guess. It's this Friday at seven."

"I'll be there."

"You better," she laughed. "Go back to your dorm and get some rest. School night, remember?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. Well, thanks for talking with me and stuff."

She smiled. "I'm always here. Goodnight, Johan."

"Goodnight."

After talking with her I realized that there was nothing I could do. I couldn't make the decision here, it had to be Judai. And it didn't matter whether I stressed on it or didn't because it wouldn't change anything.

So I decided to save myself a lot of energy and try my best not to worry about it. Because maybe, just maybe, things would begin to look up.

As I walked back to my dorm, I noticed that everyone's car was in the parking lot. I told myself that I had talked to Judai and now it was time to talk to the rest of the gang.

They needed to know how sorry I was. But not tonight. Everyone was still either getting over a hangover or sulking that tomorrow was school.

I'd do it tomorrow when everyone wasn't as tired.

**Ok, so that's probably not the best chapter...but I promise I'll do my best to make them a bit better...and longer lol I hoped it wasn't as useless as I thought it was.**

**Review plz! No flames**

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	25. Tables Turned

**It's only been a week? It felt so much longer to me lol Well, I hope you guys are ready for chapter 25. EEEP maybe we'll make it to thirty. That's my goal. We'll just have to play it by ear I guess.**

**Song: Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd**

**Judai's POV**

Seeing his flawless curves and loops to his signature the sheet made my heart squeeze.

All of the guilt and pain came back to me in one big wave of fatigue and nausea.

My head still hurt from all of the crying the night before. And my stomach hurt from hunger. I felt like if I didn't eat something, I'd have a fit of dry heaves.

I could have taken a seat halfway across the room from Johan but I decided to sit next to him like I always did. I didn't want him to think that I was angry at him.

He and I had been through a lot in these past thirteen days and I didn't want to add to it.

When I sat down in my seat, Johan smiled at me and I did my best to smile back.

He didn't say a word to me, respecting that I needed time. But now I wasn't sure what needed to be done.

I knew I loved Johan. My whole world revolved around him. But I couldn't forgive him so easily. He still had yet to explain to me why he did what he did. And also, there was some things I needed to tell him as well. Like my very short affair with Haou. So, what? I couldn't break it off because that'd only make both of us miserable. But I couldn't take him back either until I told him what I did with Haou. And I did that he'd hate me forever so it's a lose-lose situation.

By the time the bell rang, I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn't even written down the notes. Midterms were coming up so a blank piece of paper wasn't really looked upon positively.

The next two classes were exactly the same. I'd promise myself I'd take notes and with one look at Johan, all my nerves and jitters came back. I couldn't even find the feeling in my hands to pick up the pencil and copy down the words that were being spoken by the professor.

Finally, lunch came around.

And just as I had predicted hours earlier, I was in the bathroom heaving.

There was nothing in my stomach which made it that much worse. If anything came up it was bile.

When I was finished, I forced myself to stand up and walk into the cafeteria.

I walked in just as Johan was walking away from the table that we usually sit at and he sat himself down at an empty table across the room.

After watching him leave, I walked to our table and sat down in my usual spot.

"Did you hear that the school's having another talent show?" Asuka asked, looking at the long sheet of paper that was hanging by the door.

I turned to look at it.

The list of names were longer when I last saw it this morning. But the one that stuck out the most was Johan's handwriting.

"Are you signing up?" Sho asked me.

I turned back to my small group of friends and shook my head as I took a bite of my burger.

"Why not, mate?" Jim pitched in. "You're such a good singer."

I shrugged even though I knew exactly why not.

"Is it because of Johan?" Asuka said with narrowed eyes.

I only stared at her, not wanting to answer that question. But somehow she managed to get the answer through my silence.

She sighed. "Judai-kun, just because Johan's signing up too shouldn't hold you back. I think you should go for it," she said. "Mostly because the whole school body will eat you alive and also because you love to do it, don't you?"

I smiled as I thought back to the party in the Blue Dorm. When I went up to the karaoke machine and sang along to my favorite songs. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Then you should sign up!"

After looking at his name and back at him, I shook my head once more. "I can't."

Their eyes shifted from happiness to pity all at the same time.

"Don't look at me like that," I mumbled as I lowered my head and took another bite.

They didn't speak another word about it for the last fifteen minutes of the period.

Next period, Jim sat next to me as usual.

This time, I was bound and determined to pay attention to what the teacher said. But of course, that was ruined when Jim began whispering in my ear.

"You know," he said, "even though what Johan did was horribly wrong, you shouldn't let that stop you from doing the things you love. I think this is the perfect opportunity to show not only him but yourself that you're a lot stronger than you look."

Although, I was a bit annoyed that I was interrupted from my note-taking, what Jim said was true.

I should sign up for the talent show because I love it. Nothing is ever so bad, no good exists. And in my book, singing was a good.

I smiled at Jim. "Thanks," I whispered back.

So after the rest of my classes were over, I went to my locker to grab my stuff. But a stack of papers fell when I opened it.

They were the notes that I hadn't taken in class. Johan had recopied them and gave them to me.

I smiled slightly as I picked them up and I put them in my bag along with my other textbooks.

Then I went to the cafeteria and back to the signup sheet and wrote down my name in my own sloppy cursive.

Now that I was officially signing up, I knew I just took a step closer to my final decision.

Was I or was I not going to take Johan back?

I think I was leaning toward yes, despite my nervousness about telling him about Haou. And I figured, I might as well just get it off my chest before I chicken out. Plus, I really needed better than a two and a half minute explanation.

Once I left the building, I walked to Johan's dorm, my stomach stirring with butterflies.

I lifted my hand to knock on the door, but I froze.

Dropping my hand, I took a deep breath.

_Just do it_, I thought. _You know you have to. The longer you wait, the longer you have to worry about it. Knock on the door and tell him. Do it._

I knocked. And once I did, I wanted to run away screaming. If anyone asked, I was playing Ding-Dong-Ditch.

But the door opened too soon for me to do the ditching part.

Johan opened the door with only a towel wrapped around his waist and hair dripping water onto his shoulders. "Judai?"

I swallowed and I was pretty sure he heard it. "Are you busy?"

"No, but you'll have to excuse my lack of clothing," he said with a short laugh. "I just came out of the shower."

My cheeks burned with slight embarrassment and…lust? I hoped he didn't see it but if he did, he didn't make any sign that told me he did.

I cleared my throat. "Um, I just wanted to talk to you."

Johan nodded and let me in. "I told you, you're always welcome here."

I frowned as I stepped inside.

He was treating me so nicely and he was probably expecting some good news coming from me. It made me feel guilty again and I briefly wondered if this was a good idea. I mean, after seeing Haou's reaction, I was scared that Johan would do the same, even though I knew I deserved it.

"I'm just gonna put on some clothes," Johan said.

I nodded and watched him walk into his room to change.

I plopped myself down on the couch, deciding to wait for him there. I bit on my nails as I tried to pull myself together. My stomach was still in knots. If I kept stressing over this, I'm pretty sure I'd hurl. Again.

When Johan came back out, he sat down next to me on the couch. "So, I'm guessing you came because you wanted a better explanation than what I gave you in the hospital."

I swallowed and decided to let him go first. "Yeah."

Johan nodded. "Ok, well, after the Halloween party, I woke up in the middle of the night. I'm not sure what time it was, but it was pretty late." He stopped and swallowed. "I woke up to Asuka yelling. So I stepped out to look. It was her, Jim and Sho standing there at the bottom of the steps. They were talking about…Yusei."

My eyes filled up with tears. This whole time I was thinking he was only playing with my emotions and it turned out he was only trying to get himself straight again.

"His parents had called Asuka, telling her that Yusei had a brain tumor."

I gasped.

"And when I found out, I ran out. I was scared and hurt and I just couldn't deal with it. So I ran back home.

"And then I went to see Yusei's parents. They had found his diary." His eyes filled up with tears and his voice cracked when he spoke again. "He wanted to commit suicide. He wrote about it in his diary and he wrote these letters…" he squeezed his eyes shut as a few tears escaped from them. He was trying to choke back the sob but it didn't work. "They were goodbye letters.

"He took me out on that bike ride on purpose." He stopped to sniff and wipe his face which was only stained with tears seconds afterwards. "Riding that bike was his favorite thing in the world. And he wanted to spend his last few minutes of his life with me. And then he said he would drown himself in a river or something.

"And every night after that, I would pick up my phone and I would run through my contact list until I found your name. My finger would linger on the call button but the last time I called, you sounded like you were in so much pain."

I wanted to interrupt him but I decided against it and let him finish.

"And I just couldn't bare making you feel worse. So I'd put it back down. But Judai, you need to know that ever second I was gone, the only thing I thought about was you." He sniffed again. "Even as I read Yusei's letters, I thought about how you would hold me, and try to comfort me. I missed you so much, Ju-chan."

A lump built itself up in my throat when he called me that.

"I've never stopped loving you," he said. "I never will."

I leaned forward and hugged him tight. "I am so sorry," I whispered. "I had no idea."

"It's not your fault," Johan replied. "What else were you supposed to think?"

I sighed. "Still, that sucks. I just wish you'd told me that in the first place."

He laughed a humorless laugh. "It would've made things a whole lot easier if I had, huh?"

I laughed too. Mostly because I felt like if I didn't, I'd cry. "Yeah, it would have."

I pulled away from him then. "Thank you for telling me," I said.

He nodded and smiled.

But I couldn't smile back. Now, it was my turn and I wasn't so sure Johan would feel as sympathetic for me as I did him.

"Judai, what's wrong?" he asked, noticing my nervousness.

I swallowed. "I have something I need to tell you too."

"Ok, what is it?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I expected some guy to narrate, "Need a moment? Have a Twix."

"Judai, you know you can tell me anything," he said with a line of worry creasing his forehead.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Remember in the hospital, I told you that I still loved you? But I needed time?"

Johan nodded.

"Well…after that, Haou came back in and he…"

"Did he hurt you?" he growled.

"No," I answered quickly. "He didn't hurt me but…he told me how he felt for me." I looked up at Johan then but he was frozen. Emotionless. He was completely blank and it scared me. "And…I kissed him."

Still Johan had yet to make any sign of how he felt. It was like he turned himself to stone.

"And when I was able to leave, Haou took me to his place. We were watching a movie until things got…complicated." I played with my fingers, anything to keep me from looking into his eyes. "We got a little carried away. But then I thought about you. And I knew I couldn't do that after I told you that I'd think about our relationship. It was wrong and I'm so sorry."

Johan was still silent for a moment. "Do you love him?"

"No!" I said. "No, I do not love him."

He nodded. "And nothing happened?"

"Nothing."

Johan blinked a couple times before standing up from the couch.

"Johan, I'm sorry," I tried again.

He turned back around. "Don't be sorry," he said. "You didn't do anything wrong. We weren't together so it's not like you were cheating or anything. You had a right, Judai."

My eyes filled up with tears and I realized that him _not_ being mad at me was the worst punishment. I wanted him to yell at me, tell me that I was the worst person the walk on this earth. "You're not mad?"

He shook his head. "Why would I be mad?"

Tears fell down my cheeks then. "Why?" I shouted. "You're supposed to yell at me!"

He walked up to me and wiped the tears from my face. "Don't cry," he said. But it wasn't comforting. There was still no emotion in his voice. "Don't be upset. It's all going to be alright."

I couldn't say anything or do anything.

"Go back to your dorm," he said, "and get some rest. It'll be better when you wake up."

I stepped away from him and left the dorm with more tears running down my face.

Before, I was sure that I was calling the shots. I was sure that once I was ready, I could take him back. But now, I wasn't even sure he wanted me back.

I ruined everything. All hopes were gone now. And it was all of my fault.

But I didn't go to my dorm. I hopped on my motorcycle and left.

I didn't have to drive long, since I was going nearly one hundred miles an hour.

But soon, I got to where I wanted to be and went down the row until I saw him, tears still falling down my cheeks.

"Yusei," I sobbed as I dropped down on my knees in front of him. "I need your help."

**Uh-oh…more tension be the twin J's? Next chapter in exactly seven days just as always :)**

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	26. Stake Your Claim

**So I know you guys are dying to know what Johan was thinking when he found out what Judai's been up to…so I guess it's time to start chapter 26 lol**

**Johan's POV**

**Songs: Far Away by Nickelback**

**Never Gonna Leave This Bed by Maroon 5 (one of my favorites)**

I should have wanted to shove Haou through a wall.

I should have wanted to wring his neck.

I should have shown some emotion to tell Judai that I still felt something for him.

But here are the key words: _should have._

At first I was hurt. But then I slowly slipped into the state I was when I had run back home. Now I honestly had no idea what I felt. I didn't even feel numb. It was like my soul was ripped out of me.

I didn't sleep that night. Or the next. And the weird thing was…I wasn't tired. I mean, I don't think I was. You know, being soulless and all, it was hard to tell.

It was Friday and I considered skipping the talent show. I couldn't go like this. Music is all about emotion (it's even in Webster's definition of music. Look it up). And since I didn't have any, I thought maybe it'd be best to cancel.

But then I thought about what the characters would do in all of my favorite books. They all faked their emotion when they were upset. So why couldn't I fake my own emotions?

I picked up my guitar and my iPod. I pressed the record button so I could have an idea of what I sounded like.

I began strumming the chords, which came easily to me. The notes held their own passion which gave me an advantage.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I was supposed to be feeling.

The slow and steady notes told me that the song was sad. But with the aggression of the pick hitting the strings told me that the song had a bit of anger in it as well.

Clearing my throat and began to sing the words, doing my best to match the music's feelings. And I almost wanted to smile but the song prevented me from doing so.

It was actually a little fun.

I didn't feel so empty anymore. I felt something. I mean, I'm not saying that these are good feelings but it was better than feeling absolutely nothing.

But when the song ended, the feeling passed and I was back to being soulless.

I stopped recording and replayed it. And to my surprise, it wasn't half bad.

Satisfied, I deleted the recording and hopped onto my bike and drove to the cemetery.

I wanted to see Yusei before the talent show.

I tried to pretend to feel again like I did recently. But it was hard to do without the notes telling me what to feel.

"Hey, Yusei," I heard. It sounded like a prepubescent teenage boy. It took me a minute to figure out it came from me. The sound was completely foreign to me.

The chilly snow that still lay sprinkled on the grass suddenly got colder, forcing me to shiver slightly and a cold breeze whipped particles of snow into my nose making me sneeze.

I was getting used to Yusei's silent messages.

"Nothing's wrong," I tried to say. But before I could even finish my sentence, my nose tickled making me sneeze again.

"If I get sick," I said, "I'm blaming you."

It was quiet. Pure silence and I knew he was waiting for me to explain.

With a sigh, I decided he the only way he'd stop was if I told him.

"Well, you know Judai and I have been in an…argument if you will," I said, not sure what else to call it. "But I thought things were getting better, you know? But a couple of days ago, Judai came to see me. He told me that something happened with someone else. His name was Haou."

I felt heat seeping through the back of my jacket, wrapping around my shoulders. Almost as if he were hugging me. And then I felt a warm breeze flow through my hair and I smiled.

Yusei used to run his hands through my hair when I was upset.

"They kissed a little and you and I both know where kisses can lead." I laughed bitterly. "He told me that nothing happened but it still hurts. He said that he needed time to process everything after I came back. But since when is sex involved in that?"

I sighed again pinched the bridge of my nose.

"But when I actually take a breath and think about it, it's not like he was cheating or anything. Maybe he decided that he didn't want me. But if he didn't want me why would he stop and why would he tell me? I'm so lost."

I groaned and rubbed my temples.

"This wasn't the reason I came to see you," I said. "I just wanted to say hi before I went to the talent show. It starts in a little over an hour so I should probably head back."

I put my hand on the tombstone, feeling his energy entering my body. Goose bumps spread all over my body even though I could still feel his warmth wrapped around me.

"I love you," I said as I stood up.

Yusei's warmth moved up to my cheek, kissing me before I went back to my bike.

I started the engine and rode back to the Academy. I got there with ten minutes to spare.

Grabbing my guitar, I rushed over to the auditorium. Over half of the seats were taken and people were still piling in.

Alice and the other faculty members were messing around with the microphone, trying to make it work while others put up banners and tested out different colored spotlights.

I went up to help Alice with the microphone. The package said it was indestructible but somehow it managed to get itself destroyed.

So I ran down to Alice's room to grab another, just in time for the hosts to come on stage.

After about twenty minutes, Judai and I were called into the back room, to get ready. Judai was up next and I came on right after him.

We didn't say anything to each other and I couldn't tell if I was relieved or disappointed.

After tone deaf Charlotte Usher was done singing Kelly Clarkson-God help us all-Judai was up.

He tripped over one of the wires and hissed in pain before I caught him. He rubbed his injured knee as he stood up straight.

"Is it ok?" I asked lightly.

He nodded.

"Are you wearing your brace?"

He nodded once more and limped onto the stage.

I looked over to Alice. "Can you get him a chair?"

She smiled and nodded.

Reaching behind, she grabbed the metal chair and set it behind Judai and helped him lower the microphone.

As the intro started, Judai looked at me with those big chocolate brown eyes. He looked like he was about to cry and I couldn't help but look back at him, mirroring his apologetic expression.

"_This time, this place_

_Misused mistakes._

_Too long, too late,_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left._

'_Cause you know,_

_You know, you know"_

"_That I love you!_

_I've loved you all along._

_And I miss you,_

_Been far away for far too long."_

"_I keep dreaming you'll be with me,_

_And you'll never go._

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore."_

I stared at him in awe. His voice was so beautiful, filled with so much guilt, it took everything in me not to run on stage and wrap my arms around him. Even if I was still hurt from what he did, his voice was so mesmerizing. It made me feel everything he felt.

"_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance._

'_Cause with you, I'd withstand_

_All of Hell to hold your hand._

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything, but I won't give up!_

'_Cause you know_

_You know, you know"_

"_That I love you!_

_I've loved you all along._

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long."_

"_I keep dreaming you'll be with me_

_And you'll never go!_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore."_

"_So far away…_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away…_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know"_

"_I wanted_

_I wanted you to stay._

'_Cause I needed_

_I need to hear you say,_

_That I love you_

_I've loved you all along!_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long!"_

"_So keep breathing_

'_Cause I'm not leaving you anymore!_

_Believe it_

_Hold onto me and never let me go._

_Keep breathing_

_Hold onto me and never let me go._

_Keep breathing_

_Hold onto me and never let me go…"_

The song ended and Judai looked back at me but I was frozen in shock. I knew the song by Nickelback but he made the song original. The way he would squeeze his eyes shut when he said he'd stop breathing if he never saw me again. The way he squeezed the collar of his shirt when he said he needed to hear me say that I forgave him and that I loved him. And I didn't miss the fallen tear either.

He stood up from his chair and walked carefully down the stairs and squeezed through the crowd, heading for the door.

I hurried out and sat down, readying my guitar.

Judai was still heading toward the door.

Like I said before, I was still upset and I definitely wasn't going to forgive without a really good explanation. But there was no way in hell I'd let him walk out that door.

The song that I planned on singing was thrown to the curb and I decided to free-write. There was no song I knew that expressed what I was feeling this very moment so I thought to hell with it. I'll figure it all out along the way.

I began stroking the strings in a rhythm that got everyone bobbing there heads but Judai didn't stop. But when I began to sing, he hesitated.

"_You push me._

_I don't have the strength to_

_Resist or control you._

_Take me down, take me down."_

Judai's head turned and he watched me as I continued the song.

"_You hurt me._

_But do I deserve this?_

_You make me so nervous._

_Calm me down, calm me down."_

I saw Judai lower his gaze down to his hands before he turned around and headed for the door. So I decided to hurry up and get to the point.

"_Wake you up_

_In the middle of the night to say_

_I will never walk away again!_

_I'm never gonna leave this bed."_

Judai stopped then and turned again, but this time I made sure to lock my gaze with his and smiled at him. He wasn't leaving anytime soon, I'd made sure of that.

"_So come here_

_And never leave this place._

_Perfection of your face_

_Slows me down, slows me down!"_

"_So fall down,_

_I need you to trust me._

_Go easy, don't rush me._

_Help me out, why don't you help me out?"_

"_Wake you up_

_In the middle of the night to say_

_I will never walk away again!_

_I'm never gonna leave this bed."_

"_So you say, 'Go, it isn't working,'_

_And I say, 'No, it isn't perfect,'_

_So I stay instead_

_I'm never gonna leave this bed."_

"_Take it, take it all_

_Take all that I have._

_I'd give it all away just to get you back."_

"_And fake it, fake it all,_

_I'll take what I can get."_

"_Knockin' so loud,_

_Can you hear me yet?_

_Try to stay awake but you can't forget!"_

"_Wake you up_

_In the middle of the night to say_

_I will never walk away again!_

_I'm never gonna leave this bed."_

"_You say, 'Go, it isn't working,'_

_And I say, 'No, it isn't perfect,'_

_So I stay instead._

_I'm never gonna leave this bed."_

"_Take it, take it all,_

_Take all that I have._

_Take it, take it all,_

_Take all that I have._

_Take it, take it all,_

_Take all that I have…"_

When I finished the song, people clapped and whistled but I wasn't paying attention to them.

I had all but run off the stage and was squeezing through the crowd, desperately trying to get to Judai, who was still standing there wide-eyed, jaw slightly ajar.

When I finally reached him, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him with me outside into the hallway.

Finally we were able to breathe something other than girls' perfume and sweat from the guys.

I turned to Judai and opened my mouth to say something but before I could he said,

"I really do need to hear you say it."

I bent down so our foreheads were touching and traced his jaw with the tips of my calloused fingertips. "I love you."

The tears that were hiding behind his eyes fell as I pressed my lips softly against his.

"I love you too," he mumbled against my lips.

"I know."

We pulled apart, but stayed close to one another.

"You wanna get out of here?" I asked.

Judai nodded with a smile.

I walked down the hallway for a minute before I realized that Judai was walking slower behind me and I felt a little guilty. I kept forgetting about his knee so I waited for him to catch up before I scooped him up in my arms bridal style.

"C'mon, Slowpoke," I joked as I walked down the hall.

Judai giggled as he nestled his head on my shoulder.

When we reached my dorm, I set him down gently on my bed.

I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. We had our fun and now it was time to be serious.

"We need to talk."

**Alright! It was fun to actually write the lyrics of the song for once lol**

**Chapter 26-Check**

**Seven days till chapter 27! :)**

**Review plz!**

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	27. Yusei's Blessing

**Chapter 27...I think we just might make it to thirty like I hoped ;) Maybe even a little over thirty YAY! Well, let's start the chapter!**

**Song: Every Day by Rascal Flatts (yeah, the song's kinda old I guess but it's sooooo good!)**

**Judai's POV**

I was used to Johan. I mean, I had easily memorized every little detail about him. There was a slight chip on his front tooth, his smile was slightly crooked and there was a piece of hair in the back that liked to grow faster than the others so Johan had to cut it constantly. I could go on for hours about all of the others. But I think my personal favorite is that his eyelashes are uneven from when Asuka decided to cut all of them off on his right eye. Now they were forever uneven.

Basically what I'm saying is that it took a long time for me to memorize them all. And still after all of that time, the very sight of him could still make my heart beat faster and slower at the same exact time. My eyes follow him everywhere he goes like a moth to a flame. And even in a time like this, a time where we both need to be serious, I couldn't help but think about how I want his warm, moist lips to touch my chapped ones.

"I know," I started, knowing it time to come back to reality, "that I've said this at least ten thousand times but I'm really sorry. And I know that apologizing won't take back what I did but I swear, I'll prove it."

Johan shook his head and took hold of my hands. "I know you're sorry," he said. "It doesn't have to do with you proving that to me because, I already know. It has to do with me forgiving you."

I winced slightly but I could tell by the cringe on his face he didn't mean for it to be that harsh.

"Sorry," he whispered.

I squeezed his hands. "Don't be."

He smiled a little but it faded when he said, "What you did really hurt me. I mean, I know what _I_ did wouldn't make me boyfriend of the year but you said you'd think about it. I guess I just thought you'd let me know before you decided to choose someone else."

I bit my lip and tried to push back the tears that threatened to fill my eyes. "I was never going to choose Haou," I said. "I knew that from the very beginning. All I could think about was you. When I looked at him, I saw your sparkling green eyes and when he spoke, I heard your angelic voice."

His cheeks were flushed when I said this.

"I don't know what happened," I continued. "Maybe I was going crazy. But once I really looked past all of that…whatever it was, I saw Haou as himself and it scared me. I just freaked out."

Johan looked at me patiently but it wasn't like the last time. The last time his face was emotionless. But his face now was filled with understanding and endearment.

I tried to laugh but it sounded like it was mixed with a scoff. "You should've seen his face." I swallowed as I thought about that day in his house. "He was pissed. I was sure he was gonna try to kill me by throttling me. And I was scared that you would be worse."

Johan shook his head. "I would never do anything like that."

I couldn't help but let the tears fall then. "But you did," I croaked.

His face turned from loving to horrified. "What?"

It was hard to talk through the sobs that were built up in my throat. "You gave me this look after I told you. Your eyes-good God, your eyes!-they were just blank! And it killed me! It just killed me!"

Johan surprised me by pulling me into his lap and cradling me as I spoke.

"And your voice was even worse. Everything was just blank. I felt like you had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over me. You could have yelled at me, hit me, something other than that! It was horrible." I wiped my face and tried to calm myself down.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I didn't know that hurt you so much. It was just reflexive, I guess. The same thing happened when I ran away. I just put this shield over myself so I couldn't get hurt."

I took a deep breath. "I'm just so in love with you, Jo-kun. I don't know how I'd cope if something ever happened to us."

Johan was silent and I groaned. "That sounded meticulously corny and desperate, didn't it?"

His chest vibrated as he chuckled. "Yes, it di-wait a minute…"

"What?" I asked as I looked up at him.

"Did you just say 'meticulously'?"

I smiled. "I learned it in class and I just wanted to use it."

Johan laughed harder.

"I also learned endeavor and gaiety," I giggled.

"Gaiety?" Johan repeated. "Should I be offended?"

It was my turn to laugh. "No, dummy! Gay means happy! At least, it used to."

"Well, I guess I know now, don't I?"

I sighed and moved out of his lap so I could lay back on the bed. "Weren't we just discussing a very serious topic about a minute ago?"

Johan lay back next to me. "Yeah, but you distracted me when you suddenly showed me how improved your vocabulary has become," he said. "Or I guess I should say how _ancient_. I mean, 'endeavor'? I haven't heard anyone say that since Frankenstein."

"That's actually what we're reading in English."

"See what I mean?"

I laughed and rolled over on top of his chest and kissed his jaw. "I think we got distracted again."

"And if you don't get off of me, I'll just be even more distracted."

So, I made to roll back off but Johan's grip tightened on me.

"I didn't say move," he said with a smile. "I just said I'd be more distracted."

I smiled back at him. "So, does that mean we're done talking? Because I've been fighting the urge to jump your bones for about an hour now."

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and I saw his Adams apple bob as he swallowed. "Ju-chan, I swear, you're gonna be the death of me."

I was just about to apologize and go back to our much needed talk when Johan rolled us over and began sucking on my bottom lip which made me shudder.

His hands traced the hemline of my shirt before removing it. "Well, if we're being honest, just looking at you makes my body hum in more places than not…if you catch my drift."

When he said that, my hips suddenly had a mind of their own as they buckled upwards towards his which made me blush furiously.

Johan chuckled. "Your wish is my command."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

"Do you forgive me yet?" I panted.

Johan tried to laugh but had to stop short to gasp for more air. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"It's not my fault that I can't resist your sexiness."

He rolled his eyes. "You don't play fair."

"Oh, and you do?"

He turned his gaze from the ceiling to me then. "You make a good point."

Even though the both of us were coated in sweat from our previous activities, I couldn't help but feel cold.

I slipped out from over the covers and began picking out a new pair of clothes from the bottom drawer. I couldn't believe that Johan had kept them all of this time.

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate January?" I asked as I shivered.

Johan walked beside me and started putting on some clothes as well. "I guess it does get a little cold when your butt naked in the winter."

I giggled.

"What?"

"You said butt naked," I laughed.

He rolled his eyes but I could see the smile pulling at his lips.

As he pulled up his pants, he knocked over his book of songs.

I bent down to pick it up. "I haven't heard you play in a while," I said as I flipped to a random page.

The song that I flipped to wasn't titled or dated like the rest were.

"I can play for you if you want," he said, taking the book from me and looking at the one I was looking at.

"When did you write that?" I asked.

He had to think for a minute. "It was when I went to see Yusei." He was talking to me, but his eyes never left the page. They were slightly dazed and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

"What?"

Johan opened his mouth several times but nothing ever escaped. He just kept staring at the page.

"Johan, what's the matter?"

He mumbled something but I couldn't make out what it was. So when I didn't answer, he said it again but louder. Not much louder but loud enough I could hear it.

"He wrote this," he said.

"Who did?" I asked nervously. Johan looked so freaked out and he had to lean against the dresser to keep his balance. "Johan, you're starting to scare me.

He moved from where he was standing to sit down on the bed and I followed him.

"Yusei," he whispered again. "Yusei wrote it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling so incredibly lost. I felt his forehead. "Are you feeling ok?"

He laughed, finally lifting his gaze to look at me. "I'm fine."

"Then, do you want to explain what the hell you're talking about? If I knew any better, I'd say you've gone temporarily insane."

Johan shook his head. "It was after I left. I went to see Yusei. And I was crying. But then all of a sudden, the tears stopped randomly and I picked up my pen and began writing this." He stopped to look at me, trying to figure out if I believed him or not. "But it wasn't me. I didn't have any control over what I was doing. And when I stopped, I tried to read it but it just didn't make any sense. It was like it was written in a different language."

For a moment, I thought he was seriously crazy. But I decided to let him finish before I judged.

"But now I know what it is," he said.

"What is it then?"

"It was Yusei's favorite song."

Looking over the lyrics again, I didn't recognize them which was good. I wanted everything to be a surprise when he sang it for me.

Just then, I felt of rush of warm air despite the cold weather. And out of my peripheral vision, I saw a boy who had the prettiest cobalt eyes and disheveled black hair that resembled Johan's.

I know that Johan could see him too because I caught him smiling as he stared at the corner of his room.

I looked there to but I couldn't see him anymore. I could only see him if I wasn't really looking at him…if that made any sense.

"Play it," I said.

He grabbed his guitar and placed it gently in his lap and played the introduction chords.

"_You could've bowed out gracefully_

_But you didn't."_

"_You knew enough to know to leave,_

_Well enough alone, but you wouldn't."_

"_I drive myself crazy,_

_Trying to stay out of my own way._

_The messes that I make,_

_But my secrets are so safe._

_The only one who gets me,_

_Yeah, you get me._

_It's amazing to me,"_

"_How every day_

_Every day, everyday_

_You save my life."_

"_I come around, all broken down_

_And crowded out and you're comfort."_

"_Sometimes the place I go is so_

_Deep and dark and desperate,_

_I don't know, I don't know!"_

"_How every day,_

_Every day, every day_

_You save my life."_

There was so much emotion as he sang and it wasn't just because Yusei was here with us. I could tell it was more than that.

This was what Yusei wanted Johan to know and Johan was telling him that he felt the exact same way.

I couldn't help but smile as I thought about how in love the two were. Not even in death as the marriage vows say, did these two part.

I knew I was extremely lucky to be a part of Johan's life. I wondered if Yusei liked the idea. It kind of scared me a little to think that Yusei hated it so I pushed it away from my mind and just let Johan sing.

"_Sometimes, I swear I don't know if_

_I'm coming home or going._

_But you always say something_

_Without even knowing,_

_That I'm hanging onto your words_

_With all of my might."_

"_And it's alright,_

_Yeah, I'm alright._

_For one more night!"_

Yusei had moved from the corner to come sit with us on the bed. He looked at Johan with love in his eyes and a smile that mimicked Johan's.

Then he turned his gaze toward me and smiled as he mouthed the words, _thank you._

I furrowed my brows, silently asking for what?

He placed his hand on Johan's knee, answering my question. Then he nodded as if he were giving me his blessing and I smiled at him.

"_Every day!"_

The way Johan closed his eyes as he held out each note gave me goose bumps and brought tears to my eyes.

"_Every day, every day, ever day!_

_Every day, every day!_

_You save me! You save me! Oh, oh, oh."_

"_Every day,_

_Every day, every day,_

_Every day you save me life."_

Johan finished the song and I saw Yusei rise on his knees to kiss him on the cheek moments before he disappeared.

"That was pretty," I said as I scooted closer to him.

He draped his arm over me and kissed my temple. "Did you see him too?"

I nodded. "I did."

"So you don't think I'm crazy?"

I laughed. "No. Not yet, anyway."

Johan chuckled. "Fair enough."

We didn't say anything for a while. We didn't need to. We just had to be.

"What song was that?" I asked after a long silence.

"Every day by Rascal Flatts," he answered.

And then we lay back down to where we were before and closed our eyes ready to go to sleep.

"I love you," I heard Johan whisper.

I smiled and gave him a gentle kiss. "I love you too."

**YAY! Twin J's are back together! Woot! Lol well, I hoped you all enjoyed seeing Yusei again!**

**Review plz!**

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	28. Clean Slate

**Hello peoples! I hope you're ready for chapter 28! I've been getting a few reviews asking me whether Haou was coming into the story or not. And me being me, I didn't want to give anything away but now I kinda have to lol**

**I had a little trouble with picking out a song this week. The one that I picked would probably make more sense if it was written in Haou's point of view. But for me it's so hard to write him because of his character. But I thought if I just told you it would be helpful**

**So sorry, the surprise has been given away ;( And also, sorry for not updating yesterday. I was at the beach with a couple of my friends and I got a bit caught up. I promise, the next update will be on time. **

**Song: By The Way by Theory Of A Deadman featuring Chris Daughtry**

**Johan's POV**

Today, I got Judai back in my arms and I saw Yusei. I _saw_ him. Today was absolutely amazing and all I could think about was Alice.

Weird, I know. But I had to talk to her. I had to tell her that she was right. Things did work out in the end. Not just with Judai but with my friends also.

She was officially the smartest person I knew.

"Johan?"

I looked down to see a pair of dark brown eyes staring at me. "What is it, Ju-chan?"

"Remember when you took me to your mother's music store?" he asked.

I nodded with a smile. "I remember."

"Can we go there again some time?"

I smiled and went to kiss his forehead when the scent of chocolate hit me.

I had never realized how much I had missed that smell until now. The smell of Judai had been gone for too long and now, there was nothing I could do but just sit there and revel in it.

It took a while for me to finally answer Judai's question. "Of course we can."

Judai's eyes were closed and I almost thought he was asleep until I heard him whisper, "I missed you."

I tightened my hold on him slightly. "I missed you too, Ju-chan. And I don't plan on missing you again because you're never _ever_ leaving my side."

He giggled but I was dead serious.

If Judai ever left again, I wasn't sure what I'd do. Maybe now I had separation anxiety but I couldn't help it. We'd been through so much already. I just wanted the rest of the ride to go out smoothly.

A few minutes later, I felt Judai moving away from me and instinctively, I tightened my hold again, not letting him move.

"Jo-kun!" he laughed.

"Where are you going?" A few weeks ago, I would've kicked myself for sounding so desperate.

"I gotta pee!" he said, laughing even harder.

Reluctantly, I let him go but I found myself following him.

"Johan, what are you doing _now?_"

"Following you," I answered.

He giggled again. "I'd rather do this by myself."

"Why?" I asked. "I've seen your thing before."

Judai stared at me like I was crazy. "Yeah, but I'd rather you see it while I'm _not_ taking a piss."

"You've seen me pee before," I argued.

"No," he corrected, "I haven't. I have the decency to turn my back when you don't close the door."

"I thought we had an open door policy?"

He lifted a brow. "The hell are you talking about?"

"In October," I reminded, "I told you that you were always welcome here. We have an open door policy."

This caused Judai to laugh once more. "For the entrance door, not the bathroom!"

I groaned as I reached over to close the door but Judai's foot stopped it.

"Wait."

I smiled. "You changed your mind?"

He stepped around me and stood in front of the window. Then he drew back the curtains, his eyes fixated on something.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Oh my God," he mumbled.

I took a step forward to see what was wrong but Judai was already running out the door.

I took a quick peek out the window and saw Haou struggling to get free of the guards' hold on him.

So, I followed Judai out the door, not caring that the only thing I was wearing was a thin T-shirt.

Judai was screaming at the guards by the time I made it outside but the guards made no attempt to stop.

"Let go of me!" Haou growled. "Get those handcuffs off me right now or so help me, I will shove my foot so far up your ass-"

"Stop!" I yelled, standing in front of them, pulling Judai with me. Mostly because we needed the body heat but I also didn't want anymore distance between us. Not even two inches. "We know him, he's ok."

"Its don't matter," one of them slurred. "He's on camplus affer vissing hours."

I rolled my eyes. Were they _ever_ sober?

"We invited him?" Judai spoke up. "He's ok."

"That 'gainst rules!" one shouted dramatically. It was hard not to laugh.

"How about twenty bucks?" I suggested.

They all quieted down, waiting for the rest of the proposal. _Dumbasses_. "Twenty bucks if you let him go and we'll be out of your hair for the rest of the night.

They nodded mumbling incoherent words in I hope was agreement.

I pulled out my green ticket from the talent show the gave me. The guards were probably too drunk to even tell what a twenty looked like.

I held it up, testing them and I saw there eyes narrow in on it.

I heard Judai stifle a laugh but I sent him a look that silently meant, "Be quiet."

He nodded and looked back at the guards.

I threw it into the air, resisting the urge to say, "Fetch!"

And they all ran to it like little kids would after beating a piñata to a pulp.

Judai grabbed Haou's arm and we ran back inside and into my dorm where the heat was blasting through the vents.

Judai was sitting down on the bed, staring at Haou who was by the window with his arms crossed and a permanent scowl on his face. I'm not sure if it was pointed at me or at previous events.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I'll give you two a minute." And with that, I left the room and sat down on the couch in the living room.

I figured they'd be in there for a while, so I pulled out my keyboard since my guitar was with Judai and Haou and began to tap the keys.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I'm not sure how long later, maybe an hour, Haou walked out the door.

He looked slightly off but I couldn't exactly determine what that something was.

His head was held high as usual, jaw clenched and shoulders tensed. That tough bravado was still there. But then I realized it was something in his eyes.

There was the same anger igniting behind his unnatural gold eyes. What was it?

Haou reached for the doorknob but hesitated, giving Judai, who was standing in the doorway with tears in his eyes, one more glance and that's when I saw it.

The guilt, disappointment and heartbreak.

After a moment, Haou opened the door but then paused again. He looked at me seriously-not necessarily glaring-but his gaze was strong enough to tell me that it was important. "Don't even think about running out this time," he said. And then he left.

Even though he couldn't hear, I whispered, "I won't."

I jumped up from the couch, knowing that Judai was on the brink of tears.

I pulled him close to me, pushing away all of the jealousy I felt.

Right now, I had to let Judai get it all out of his system. I had to be that someone who keeps the other steady. Who keeps the other from falling apart.

Not long after, Judai had calmed down.

"How you holding up?" I asked in a low voice.

Judai nodded, wiping away any stray tears. "I'm ok," he said as he sat up. "I should probably get going."

"What?" I asked. "Is this because of Haou?"

Judai smiled and shook his head. "It's not, I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at him, searching for anything that would tell me he was lying. But Judai was breathing evenly, completely relaxed. I had no other choice but to believe him.

"I just want to see Sho, Asuka and Jim, you know? I feel like I haven't seen them in forever. I don't want to be one of those couples who only have time for each other."

I nodded, knowing what he was saying. "I understand."

"Plus, it'll be good for you," he said with a smirk. "Considering an hour ago, you wouldn't let me pee by myself."

I chuckled. "Take it or leave it."

Judai crawled back into my lap, straddling me. "Taken," he mumbled right before he gave me a soft kiss. "I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok," I agreed.

Judai got dressed and no, I'm not afraid to admit that I watched every move he made. How his muscles flexed when he reached to pull his shirt over his head…_mm mm good._

With one more kiss, Judai left.

I watched as he walked back to his dorm, making sure he got in safely before I looked at the time.

It was close to eleven, and I knew if I hurried, I could catch Alice.

From the amount of people at the talent show today, I knew they'd have a lot of money to count.

Throwing on a sweatshirt and jeans, I ran into the building and into Alice's room.

She had just thrown her jacket on when I entered.

"Johan!" she said, taking off her jacket. "I was hoping I'd see you. I wanted to tell you that you did great tonight. That song was for Judai, wasn't it?"

I nodded, taking a seat in front of her desk.

"Were you just with him?" she asked.

My smile widened. "Yeah. I came to thank you."

"For what?"

I shrugged. "I was beginning to doubt that what you said before was true. But you were right. It all worked out."

"See? What did I tell you?"

I laughed as I walked around to give her a hug. "Thanks, Alice."

"You're welcome, Johan."

We talked for a few more minutes. Her asking about Judai and me asking about her husband, Jem.

Quarter to twelve, we were both yawning so hard, our jaws were in danger of becoming dislocated.

"I should probably head back," I said, stifling yet another jaw cracking yawn. "You know, before the night guards go nuts."

She chuckled. "Yeah, they are a bit stupid, huh?"

"Are you kidding? They're either hyped up drugs or sweating alcohol."

Alice laughed at that. "Very true. You get to your dorm, Johan, and get some rest. I'll see you Monday morning."

I nodded. "Goodnight, Alice."

I left the building feeling satisfied. Something I haven't felt in a long while.

**Well, I hope you guys liked it! Don't worry, this fanfic isn't over just yet. I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve. Not many but enough to keep this alive for a little while longer lol**

**Review plz!**

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	29. Chance

**Woot! Chapter 29! I guess you're all curious about what Judai said to Haou, huh? Lol well now you can figure it out haha.**

**Song: Marching On by OneRepublic**

**Judai's POV**

It was distracting. Having Johan right outside the door, beautifully gliding his fingers across the keys and humming soft lyrics. I wanted to pay attention to Haou. We had to settle everything immediately. But how could I do that when Johan's playing? Every time I hear him, my eyes involuntarily close and my fingers crave the feeling of his smooth skin and hair.

I took a deep breath and tried to push the sound of Johan's music away. "What are you doing here?"

Shrugging, he said, "I honestly don't know. Maybe I came to see…how you were doing…I guess." Although Haou was looking at me, he refused to meet my eyes.

I shook my head guiltily. "You came to see me? It should've been the other way around. You know that."

Haou uncrossed his arms and looked up and for a second, I thought you would meet my gaze. But he ended up looking at a zit just under my hairline. "I shouldn't have yelled like that. Hell, I shouldn't have even said anything in the first place. Not after Johan-"

"You had every right," I interrupted. "What I did was horrible and you shouldn't be making any excuses for my dumbass mistake. And I'm sorry."

He sighed, crossed his arms and went back to looking at the stain on my shirt. "Can I just ask you why? Why'd you use me like that?"

Now, it was my turn to look away. "It wasn't intentional," I mumbled. "When Johan came into the hospital, I was shocked. Paralyzed even. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and tell me to forget everything that happened.

"But I knew I couldn't. I had to sit by myself for a while and think about what happened. I mean, really go over it. With Johan around, I couldn't do it. It was like I was in a binding spell. I couldn't resist him.

"So, when I told Johan to leave, it was like my heart was broken all over again. And when you came in after him, I felt something."

I saw Haou lift up his head slightly out of the corner of my eye. But once our eyes met, he looked down again.

Internally sighing, I continued, "In my mind, I went through all of the time we'd spent together. And I realized that I liked you.

"So, when you told me how you felt about me, I jumped at the chance. I convinced myself that it was ok. And that was when I kissed you." I closed my eyes and swallowed.

"The next day, my head had cleared and I knew that I had to straighten things out with us. But then you kissed me again-"Haou flinched-"and I felt that same spark that I felt before. And I didn't say anything.

"And whatever happened at your house," I shook my head as if it would make everything go away, "I guess it was just the heat of the moment."

Haou scoffed. "The heat of the moment? That's the only excuse you can give me?" He was yelling now. "An Asia song?"

I sighed. "Haou, it was more than that."

"No!" He was looking me in the eye now, pure rage glowing in his golden eyes. "It really wasn't! It seems to me as if you knew all along you were going to forgive him. You just wanted to see him suffer. But if anything, that bounced right off of him and hit me in the face! Thanks a lot, Judai."

His words stung. Was he right? I always knew that there was a possibility that my relationship with Johan could end but I never pictured it. But I never meant to hurt anyone…did I?

I mean, I was _really_ mad at Johan. Did I take out all of my anger on Haou?

When I didn't respond, Haou marched out of the room, me hopelessly following him, trying to make him stop.

Johan was sitting behind the keyboard, the music coming to an abrupt stop which intensified the tension between Haou and I.

My eyes were filled with tears that threatened to fall. I struggled to keep them at bay. I didn't want to break down in front of Haou.

I saw him say something to Johan, but I was too busy trying to control my emotions.

Finally, Haou left, and I allowed the sobs that had built themselves up in my throat to flow freely.

Johan took me to the bed and held me, not saying much. Just letting me soak his shirt with my salty tears.

The feeling was horrible. I had broken Haou's heart and damaged mine in the process. And the more I cried, the more pain I felt.

Then suddenly, it was like I was put in a time machine. Three months back in early September. Johan was telling me the story of how he lost Yusei. And I let him cry on my shoulder. And I knew that I had to find a way to prove to him that what happened wasn't his fault.

And as I thought about that moment, I was able to pull my thoughts together. Haou was wrong. I mean, some things he had right but not the most important detail. I never wanted anyone to get hurt.

Yes, it was true that I knew I'd forgive Johan. But his reason was wrong. It wasn't because I wanted anyone punished. I was waiting for Johan. I wanted him to show me that he was sorry. Because saying wasn't enough. He had to prove to me that what he did was wrong, stupid and that he was sorry. And he did exactly that.

"How you holding up?" I heard Johan mumble softly.

"I'm ok," I said as I sat up. All of the crying had made me tired and I just wanted to sleep. Then, I randomly remembered the life outside of Johan. Asuka, Sho and Jim. I had basically abandoned them. "I should probably get going."

"What?" Johan sat up too, startled by what I had said. "Is this because of Haou?"

I felt guilty again for scaring him. What else could you think after what had just happened. "It's not, I promise."

Johan's eyes grew serious and he stared at me. He was searching for something. Maybe for a tell. A quickened pace of my heartbeat, a twitch, something to prove I was lying. Again, I couldn't blame him. I'd be worried too if it were the other way around.

"I just want to see Sho, Asuka and Jim, you know? I feel like I haven't seen them in forever. I don't want to be one of those couples who only have time for each other." I rolled my eyes at the thought. There were so many movies and books about them, it was sickening.

I was relieved when he said, "I understand."

I tried to break whatever left of the ice between us with a small joke. "Plus, it'll be good for you," I said with a smirk. "Considering an hour ago, you wouldn't let me pee by myself."

I swore to him that I'd see him later, just before I left.

As I left the Blue Dorm, I almost expected Haou to be there. But he was gone.

Sighing, I thought, I did the best I could. And it would be pointless to try and go after him.

I walked into the Red Dorm to find everyone crowded in there, hovering over a flyer that was in Sho's hand.

"Judai-kun!" Asuka said cheerily. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

I blushed. "Sorry."

She brushed off my apologizing and gave me a hug. "Don't worry about it. So, have you and Johan worked everything out yet?"

Smiling, I nodded.

"That's great, mate," Jim said from next to Sho. "I knew you'd be back to each other eventually."

I laughed happily. "Yeah, I guess so. What are you guys looking at?"

Sho stood up and showed me the flyer. "It's a contest at the Meiji Jingu Baseball Stadium. We found it online. If we gathered up every last penny, I bet we could afford to get Johan in. How awesome would that be?"

I wasn't even listening to him. I was too busy picturing Johan up on that stage playing one of his songs. And not just in front of the school. In front of all of Tokyo.

"The prize is a record deal," Jim said.

I looked up at him. "Seriously?"

They all nodded.

"Johan would have his own album by the time spring break comes around," Asuka said with a huge smile. "You know, if he wins. Which he will."

I laughed at her. I was so excited. I knew Johan would win. His songs were different than every other singer. His songs weren't only filled with emotion, they were filled with personal experience.

Sure, you could tell someone what you think a broken heart feels like. You know, from all the books that they all read now. But if you've felt it before, like Johan and I have, you'd know that there are absolutely no words. But somehow, Johan had done a great job describing it and even making the words rhyme.

"So, what do you think, mate?" said Jim. "If we're gonna pull it off, we'll need your help."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you kidding? Of course I'll pitch in."

So, now, we were on the floor, quiet, trying to figure out how to come up with the money.

Sho and I were digging through our checkbooks, looking at how much money we'd used and how much money we'd need in the not-so-distant-future.

Jim and Asuka were looking at their paychecks they had gotten from part-time jobs at the restaurant (Jim) and babysitting (Asuka).

I'm not sure how, maybe it was a miracle, but somewhere past two in the morning, we had figured out a way to get the money and not be absolutely broke afterwards.

"I'm tired," Sho said through a yawn, throwing the pen and paper across the room and collapsing on the bed.

"Me too," Asuka moaned. "C'mon, Jimmy, let's go to our dorm."

Jim ended up having to carry Asuka back to their dorm which I would've laughed at if I weren't so exhausted.

"It's good to have you back, Judai," Sho mumbled in the pillow as I got into my bed.

I slurred some kind of agreement as I slipped off into a deep sleep.

_You're gonna be famous, Johan_, was the last thing I thought.

**See? I told you it wasn't over yet. Lol you guys need to have more faith in me XD unfortunately now, I have no idea what's gonna happen in the next chapter, so thanks for officially emptying my creativity box haha jk**

**Review plz!**

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	30. 20 Questions

**Yay! Chapter 30! Lol this is the longest fanfic I've ever written. That's so cool! Haha I should get a metal. Well, I guess I should start the chapter now.**

**Song: Run, Don't Walk by Hey Monday**

**Johan's POV**

I am a man. And a man has needs. Most of which need to be taken care of immediately. And my needs have _not_ been taken care of in what, a week? And yes, for all of you clueless people, I'm talking about _that._

But, it's not just Judai. It's everyone else too. Sure, I see them during classes but afterwards, they're all so busy.

Jim and Asuka have been babysitting almost everyday and on the days they aren't, they're locked up in their dorm together doing God knows what.

And not long ago, Sho and Judai got jobs and they've practically lived there.

I visit them sometimes, Sho at the diner and Judai at the bookstore. But then their bosses kick me out for loitering.

So, there I was. Lying on my bed lazily, channel surfing.

One yawn and three commercials later, Judai walked into the dorm.

"Ju-chan!" I held out my arms and he jumped into them giggling. When he tried to wriggle out them, I tightened my grip and said, "Don't even try that I-have-to-pee-thing again."

Judai laughed. "Well, then I guess I should try the I'm-starving-thing then." To prove his point, his stomach growled loudly.

Chuckling, I sat up. "I'll make you something to eat. Don't go anywhere."

I was half way to the kitchen when Judai jumped on my back, almost giving me a heart attack.

"What are you doing?" I meant to sound angry but after not seeing him in a week, I couldn't help but smile.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. I refuse to go anywhere without you."

I looked up at him. "See? You call me crazy for wanting to watch you pee but you feel the exact same way."

He grimaced. "Ew. Watching you or anyone else pee, is just weird. But I guess I do understand the feeling now though."

Too lazy to make anything more complex, I decided to make hotdogs.

"So," I said as I handed Judai his food, "is there a reason why you've been working your ass off all week?"

Judai shrugged. "I thought I could make use of the extra money." Once he said this, I saw a smile tug at his lips.

I scooted next him and smirked. I figured if he wouldn't tell me, I'd just have to seduce it out of him. "And what exactly do you plan on using the money on?"

He looked at me and opened him south, probably about to say a snide remark. But I had my hand on his leg, tracing invisible circles on his inner thigh, making his breath hitch.

"Um, no-nothing." Judai's face was completely flushed and his breathing was getting louder and faster every second.

Ok, so maybe I was torturing him a little bit. But I couldn't help it! Like I said, I'm a man and I have needs.

"C'mon, Judai." I took my other hand and traced his jaw line and then slid it down slowly. I was leaving goose bumps everywhere I touched. His face, his neck, his chest. "You can tell me."

Judai's eyes fluttered and I almost thought I had broken him. But then I saw something spark behind his eyes. He lifted his hotdog and slowly put it into his mouth.

_Oh shit_, I thought. _He's retaliating. Not part of the plan!_

Judai wiped the grease that dripped his chin with his finger and put that in his mouth too, swallowing it loudly. "Sorry. What I do with my money is none of your business.

We spent the next ten minutes doing extremely inappropriate things with our hotdogs until they were gone. Then we didn't have anymore pervert-ish jokes to play on one another.

"Well, that was a waste," Judai said, staring at his empty hand.

"Not necessarily," I replied. Taking his face gently in my hands, I pressed my lips against his. "I missed you," I mumbled.

"I missed you too."

_I should make hotdogs more often_, I thought.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

I never did find out what Judai was hiding. Although the consolation prize was pretty good, now that I think about it.

"What time are you going to work tomorrow?" I asked him.

After he yawned, he answered, "Nine, I think."

"Let me give you a ride, then."

Judai nodded tiredly. "Ok."

I chuckled lightly. "Sleep, my angel."

"Let's not become one of those clichéd couples we see on TV and books, ok?"

I laughed again. "Sorry."

Satisfied, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up with Judai no longer in my arms. But there was a note in the dent that Judai had made in the bed.

It said:

_You wanted to take me to work but you wouldn't wake up : ) But you can pick me up at 3. You know, if you're awake._

_Love ya,_

_You're angel (ugh!)_

I laughed at his sarcasm as I looked at the time. It was just after ten.

I busied myself with my guitar. But once I could hear Jim and Asuka messing around through the walls, I decided to grab something to eat at Sho's place.

"Hey, Johan," Sho greeted. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "I figured since I'm not allowed to just visit anymore, I could conveniently come here for a late breakfast."

He laughed. "Sure, what can I get for you?"

"Pancakes. And don't be afraid to drown them in syrup."

Sho shook his head at me. "You better not puke in here. I just got done cleaning up after a food-fight over here."

"I can handle it."

Rolling his eyes, he wrote it down. "Whipped cream?"

"Yes, please."

Sho shook his head again. "No. You already want them drowned in syrup. No way, am I giving you whipped cream with that too."

"Then why'd you ask?" Again, I wanted to sound angry. But Judai's consolation prize was putting me in an extremely good mood.

"Because, if I don't, my boss will have my ass. You're pukefest will arrive shortly."

I chuckled as he walked away. "Wait, Sho! Come back."

He rolled his eyes but he did what I asked. "Yes?"

"You don't know if Judai's hiding anything, do you?"

Sho stared at me, almost startled. Then he called over his shoulder, "I'm taking my break!" Then he sat down in the seat across from me. "No, why? Has something happened?"

"Not really," I said. "He's just been working a lot lately, which isn't really Judai's style, you know?"

Sho laughed but nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"He said he wanted some extra money but he wouldn't tell me. Did he say anything to you?"

Sho glanced to the left, thinking to himself, I suppose, "Uh, no, I don't think so." He shrugged. "That's a little strange though. I'll keep my ears open, though."

"I'm sure it's nothing serious," I said, not sure if I was calming Sho or myself. "But he usually tells me everything and I'm curious."

He smiled. "Yeah, don't stress on it. I mean, it's Judai. What's the worst he could do, right?"

He had a point.

"I'll go put your order in now."

I nodded as he got up and walked back to the chef.

When Sho came back, he placed my plate of pancakes in front of me. There was whipped cream on it but not nearly enough syrup.

"What the hell is this?"

"Sorry," Sho smiled, "can't take any chances. Enjoy your breakfast."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

When I got back to my dorm, Jim and Asuka were quiet (thank you, Jesus).

I messed around with my guitar until it was almost three. I picket up our helmets and my keys to go pick up Judai.

When I got there, he was just walking out of the store, his cell phone in hand. I guess he was about to call me.

When he looked up, he snapped his phone shut and hopped on the back of the bike. But when he did, he groaned.

"You're knee still bothering you?" I asked.

"Sorta," he replied. "We were lifting boxes today so I guess that's why."

"Be careful next time," I said as I handed him his helmet.

As Judai put it on, he said with a smile, "I see you've risen from the dead, Frankenstein."

I playfully scowled at him. Then, contorting my voice, I said, "Give me a companion or I'll have no choice but to kill you."

He laughed as I revved the bike and then took off at full speed.

We weren't driving for long when Judai asked, "Aren't you going to turn around?"

I smirked. "Nope. I hope you didn't have anything planned for the rest of today."

"Not really. Where are we going?"

"Somewhere."

"Well that's specific."

I chuckled. "Totally."

Minutes later, we pulled up to my old music store that was still out of business.

"Aren't you afraid someone's gonna buy this place and turn it into a strip club or something?" Judai asked as he got off the bike.

I nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to buy it myself but I don't have that kind of money. I used to think after college I'd buy it but that's two and a half years ahead of me."

Pulling out my key, I unlocked the door and held it open for Judai, who was being extremely quiet.

"Everything ok?"

Judai nodded.

"What are you thinking about?"

Judai turned around to look at me. "You want to be a singer, right?"

I shrugged. "I wanted to when I was a kid. But with all of this competition it seems kind of impossible so I was thinking about being part of the music industry."

"Right, but if you could be a singer, would you?"

"Definitely." I smiled at the thought. Seeing my face on the cover of albums everywhere, performing live on talk shows, but never going anywhere without Judai. But then I stopped daydreaming and started to wonder why he was asking me this. "Why?"

Judai smiled innocently. "Just curious."

I sat down at the piano bench, lightly tracing my fingers against the keys.

Judai sat down next to me. "If you had to choose between being famous and college, what would you pick?"

I laughed. "You've got a lot of questions, don't you?"

"Like I said, I'm curious."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it depends. Famous for what? If your talking about being one of those retards for Jersey Shore or being famous for being famous like Paris Hilton, then I'm definitely picking college."

Judai laughed. "Of course not! Don't be coy! I'm talking about being a musician."

"Musician," I answered without a thought. "Seriously, Ju-chan. What's with all of the questions?"

"I told you," he said with a smile, "I'm curious."

I chuckled. "Well, you're as subtle as a flying brick. I know something's up."

"Oh, you do?"

I nodded. "Mhm."

"Do you know what that something is?"

I sighed as if I were frustrated. "No. Not yet anyway."

"Hm." Judai crossed his arms and sat down next to me. "Well, then it seems to me that you're a sucky detective."

I laughed. "So, you admit that you're hiding something?"

"Nope."

I shook my head incredulously. "Whatever, I'll get to the bottom of it, eventually."

"Sure, you will," he giggled.

Leaning in, I captured his lips with my own. I wasn't trying to pull anything out of him this time. I felt like I had to. It amazed me how even when we've been around each other for months, that magnetic pull did nothing except become stronger. Judai would be the death of me, I swear.

After a moment of quiet, I asked, "You still want to learn how to play an instrument?"

Judai nodded excitedly.

I grabbed the nearest guitar and put it into my lap. "Ok. Have you ever heard of a band called Theory of a Deadman?"

"Yeah, I have them on my iPod."

"Then, I suspect you know the song Wait For Me."

He nodded.

"Well, that was actually one of the first songs I learned how to play. It's easy because it uses the same chords the whole time. The first one's a D chord which goes like this." I showed him how to position his fingers and on what fret.

Once I showed him all of the chords it used, I showed him how to hold a guitar pick and the strumming pattern. And before we knew it, he was playing his first song. Sure, he had to play it slowly but he was playing it nonetheless.

"Good job, Ju-chan," I said. "If I don't make it as a singer, you better take my place."

Judai giggled. "Ok. But I severely doubt you won't become a singer."

"Is that so?"

He shrugged. "I guess you could call it a hunch."

**And there you have it. Chapter 30. Haha I hoped you guys liked it.**

**Review plz!**

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	31. Flawed Perfection

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated. I'm so sorry! I got caught up in all of these books and I just couldn't put them down lol but I'm forcing myself to look up and actually pick up my laptop. Again, I'm really sorry it's been so long.**

**Song: I'm Yours by The Script**

**Judai's POV**

Alright, so I'm not good at being subtle. And I knew that I almost blew it. But I needed to know that we were doing the right thing. I mean, it'd be a waste, using all of that money for something he didn't even want.

So when I asked, "If you had to pick between college and being a musician, which would you pick?" I secretly crossed my fingers behind my back. And luck must've been on my side because this is how Johan answered.

"Musician, hands down."

Relief had flooded through me so heavily, my legs almost gave out. I still don't know why I was so nervous about it in the first place. Somehow Johan makes me feel every emotion about ten times fuller than I do with everyone else.

"Yuki!"

I blinked and saw my boss waving his hand in front of my face.

"You have customers waiting."

"Right," I said giving him a weak smile. "Sorry." I scanned their books and magazines and then gave them the total.

I couldn't wait to get out of there. My knee was hurting from standing for so long and my fingers itched to hold the guitar again. Even though my fingers were sore, I knew I had to keep practicing. My index finger already had a small callous.

Johan told me I would get blisters at first but once they turn into a callous, it wouldn't hurt my fingers anymore.

When the customers were gone, I took out my phone to look at the time. I still had another hour before Johan had to pick me up.

I hadn't realized that I was leaning on the counter, trying to remove some of the weight from my knee until one of my co-workers placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Why don't you rest your knee?" she said. "I'll take over at the register."

I smiled at her. "Thanks." Maybe leaving this morning without my brace was a bad idea.

"Sure thing."

I told my boss I was on break as I limped to the back room and plopped down on the chair.

Since I had a thirty minute break, I pulled out my iPod and told myself I'd be done soon.

I had almost drifted off to sleep when my butt started vibrating.

I opened my eyes and almost screamed, "EARTHQUAKE!" but stopped when I heard something that sounded like bells.

_It's your cell phone, dummy_.

Biting back a sarcastic remark, I pulled out my phone and saw it was a text message from Johan.

_U left ur brace at the dorm. Do u need me 2 drop it off?_

I smiled as I typed out a reply. _**No, I'll be ok. C u soon**_

My break was over but I decided to let the song that was playing finish before I got up.

Anyone else would get in trouble for using more time on their break but I had a good excuse. Technically I was crippled, so who is he to rush me?

When I saw my boss coming around the corner, I played it up a bit more than necessary. Like instead of just standing up, I hung on the arm of the chair for a moment longer and took slower steps.

Instead of going back to the register, stayed in the back, returning misplaced books on the right shelf.

Then after the fiftieth time I checked my phone, it was the end of my shift. So I clocked out and smiled when I heard the familiar rumble of Johan's motorcycle.

I grabbed my helmet and left the store.

Johan was holding out my knee brace and told me to put it on. "I hope it wasn't bothering you too much today."

I shrugged. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

He frowned, still staring at my knee. It honestly didn't hurt that bad. It was just a dull ache. Nothing a pain pull couldn't take care of.

I stood up, smoothly, trying to show him that I was ok. Then got on the back of the bike. "I'm fine, Jo-kun."

I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up as I kissed the bottom of his jaw. I fastened my helmet just as Johan started the engine. And then we were speeding down the road.

It's kind of funny now that I think about it. Johan was always telling me to be careful when I'm riding my bike. And yet he's his own safety hazard.

It was only seven minutes later when it should've been fifteen when we pulled into the school parking lot. Johan parked next to my bike as always.

"How was work?" he asked after the engine stopped.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're seriously asking me that?"

He laughed. "Should've seen that one coming. C'mon, let's get inside where it's warmer."

We were about to walk inside when Johan said, "Be careful. There's ice there."

Looking down, I saw the small patch of ice and decided I could walk on top of it easily.

And I know, what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that I fell and hurt my knee and we had to make another emergency trip to the hospital. But that didn't happen. I was the one who made it inside effortlessly. Johan was the one who slipped and fell on his ass.

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "Why don't you take your own advice, huh?" I had to lean against the door to keep my balance as I laughed.

"Ha-ha," Johan said sarcastically as he stood up. "Very funny. I may have severely hurt my ass and you're laughing."

I could hardly breathe at this point.

"There might be nerve damage."

I snorted so loud, I'm sure the whole student body heard it. "I'm so-I'm sorry! Th-that was so…_funny!_" I choked out.

With a roll of his eyes, he climbed the stairs and went into our dorm.

His notebook was sitting open along with his guitar.

"Were you writing today?" I asked.

He nodded. "Do you want to hear it?"

I answered by jumping onto the bed and smiling at him like an idiot.

Johan chuckled and joined me on the bed.

"_You touch these tired eyes of mine_

_And map my face out line by line._

_And somehow growing old seems fine._

_I listen close for I'm not smart._

_You wrap you thoughts in works of art_

_And they're hanging on the walls of my heart."_

"_I may not have the softest touch,_

_I may not say the words as such,_

_And though I may not look like much,_

_I'm yours."_

"_And though my edges may be rough,_

_I never feel I'm quite enough_

_It may not seem like very much,_

_But I'm yours."_

"_You healed these scars overtime,_

_Embraced my soul,_

_You loved my mind,_

_You're the only angel in my life._

_The day news came my best friend died,_

_My knees went weak and you saw me cry_

_Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes."_

"_I may not have the softest touch,_

_I may not say the words as such,_

_And though I may not look like much,_

_I'm yours."_

"_And though my edges may be rough,_

_I never feel I'm quite enough,_

_It may not seem like very much,_

_But I'm yours."_

"_I may not have the softest touch,_

_I may not say the words as such,_

_I know I don't fit in that much,_

_But I'm yours."_

The song brought tears to my eyes. And not in the good way.

Sure, the song was sweet. And I returned his feelings. But it pained me to know that he still worried about Yusei. I mean, I knew he's moved on. But Yusei would forever be imprinted in his mind.

Johan said that I healed all of his scars. But there was one that I couldn't heal or anyone else for that matter. And that scar was the one Yusei left when he died.

Maybe I could distract him from the pain sometimes. But it would still be there nonetheless.

"Ju-chan?"

I kept my gaze down at my hands.

"Judai, what's wrong?"

I just shook my head, not trusting my voice.

Johan lifted my head with his hands. "What is it? Did I say something?"

I shook my head again. "I'm so sorry."

"For what? Judai, you're starting to freak me out."

"You still think about him," I said through my tears. "And there's nothing I can do to make it better for you."

He laughed once before pulling me into his lap. "Judai, that's what I'm trying to tell you."

I looked up at him.

"True, it still hurts to think about Yusei. And I'll never be the way I was before."

I bit my lip to keep from trembling.

"But just having you by my side, knowing that you'll always be there for me, makes it better. I love you." Johan hugged my tighter and I closed my eyes and let myself relax into his arms.

"I love you too," I said after a moment. "And I really liked your song. It was sweet."

Johan took my left hand and looked at my index finger. He lightly traced the callous that was there. "It's getting bigger."

"Is it really?"

He nodded. "Just keep practicing everyday."

I gently removed myself from him and grabbed his guitar and started to play. I had learned how to change chords quicker since the first time Johan taught it to me. Still it wasn't full speed but I was getting better.

"You're getting faster, too," Johan said as he kissed my cheek. "You're doing great."

"Can you teach me another one?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, let me think for a second though."

I nodded and continued to strum the strings absentmindedly.

"Okay, I think I got one that you might be able to get right away."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Have you ever heard of the song Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World?"

"I love that song!" I giggled.

Johan laughed at my giddiness and took the guitar from my hands. "It's really easy. The chords don't change that much. It goes like this."

He played the D chord the Asus4 and the G chord. I already knew all of them. Now all I had to do was pay attention to the strumming pattern.

He didn't sing, he only played because he thought it would keep me from getting distracted. He was probably right but I hated not hearing his voice.

"See?" Johan said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Now you try."

I took the guitar and started to play it slowly but kept going faster until I hit full speed.

I smiled as I played. This was the first song I could really play. And I got it on the first try.

When I finished, I threw the guitar on the bed and started jumping and dancing like a five year old girl who had gotten her first Barbie on Christmas.

Johan took out his phone as he laughed and recorded me. If I wasn't so happy, I would've knocked the phone out of his hands and chastised him about videotaping me without my permission.

But I stopped jumping when my knee started throbbing again.

Johan stopped recording and handed me my pain pills, chuckles still escaping him. "Stay here and I'll get you a glass of water for that."

"Thanks," I said as I sat back down.

A moment later, Johan came back in with a glass full of water.

I took the aspirin quickly. Then I picked up the guitar again as Johan snickered.

"You're attached to that thing now, aren't you?"

"You bet your ass I am."

**WOOOOT! Lol well I hope you all liked it. I promise next chapter, we'll get somewhere. No more filler chapters haha**

**Review plz! Oh and if you have any song requests, I'll take those too. In case you can't tell, I'm running out of songs.**

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	32. Extra Guest

**Hey again! Lol sorry I didn't update last weekend. I was just trying to soak up the last little bit of summer, you know? Speaking of which, now that school has started, I can't promise you that I'll update every weekend. Right now, it's pretty easy. My school hasn't given us much homework but the farther we get into the year, the more it'll pile up, I'm sure lol. So I'm just apologizing in advance if I miss an update. But if I miss one weekend, you can expect an update the next weekend. My limit is two weeks. If I go over, then I will punish myself XD**

**Ok, enough of my talking. Let's get on with the fic!**

**By the way, I'm still taking song requests ;)**

**Songs: Got It Made by Theory of a Deadman**

**Never Alone by Barlow Girls (Requested by Sakural7865)**

**Johan's POV**

I missed him. A lot. I just want a day where we both can just drop everything and run off together. I mean, that's not a lot to ask, is it? Just one day?

But I guess it was. There I was staring at the wall. Time was moving dangerously slow. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it.

_Just one more hour_, I thought to myself. _Only one._

And instead of staring at the off-white painted walls, I managed to turn on the TV. The duel that was playing live kept me entertained. Sort of.

At exactly three o'clock, I was on my bike and speeding down the streets. When I reached the store, I smiled. Judai was walking toward me. Finally.

He gave me what was meant to be a chaste kiss but I held his face there to make it last longer. "I missed you."

He smiled and kissed me again. "I missed you too."

I handed him his helmet after he was situated on the back of the bike. Then, we were back on the road.

When I pulled into my parking spot, I didn't stop the engine.

"Uh, Jo-kun?" I heard Judai say behind me.

I answered by handing him the keys to his bike. "Wanna go for another ride?"

Smiling again, he snatched the keys and got into his own bike.

I followed him out of the lot and onto the highway. We drove for hours, going over eighty miles an hour when the limit was sixty. We laughed even though the bitter cold air stung our faces and made our eyes tear. We didn't stop until our tanks were almost empty.

Then we got gas and went back to the school.

We scurried back into the worm dorm, desperate for some warmth. And while Judai was changing into a pair of warm PJ's that came straight out of the dryer, I was in the kitchen making us hot chocolate.

"Do you want marshmallows?" I called. When he didn't answer right away, I was about to repeat myself. But he cut me off with a quick "Yes".

Taking a small handful of marshmallows, I dumped them into the cup. Then I carried the two mugs into the bedroom where Judai was waiting.

I gave Judai his drink and sat next to him. But he only sat there, staring at the cup.

"Ju-chan?"

He didn't answer.

"Judai, what's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"Tell me," I pleaded.

"I have to show you something," he said, finally looking up. "But you have to promise not to be mad."

I smiled at him but really, I was bracing myself. Then I nodded. "I promise.

Judai put his cup on the nightstand as he stood from the bed. He reached into his bag and pulled out a folded sheet of paper and handed it to me.

I unfolded it and began to read.

_**MUSICAL CONTEST**_

_Do you have the talent? If so, this is your chance. $700 for each participant and the winner gets a record deal. Auditions start on February 3 at 2:00pm and end on February 7. If you are selected to be in the contest, bring the money with you. You must arrive at the Baseball Stadium at 6:00 but it will not be starting until 7:00._

The rest was just about the rules and regulations. What you can and can't do, what you can bring and can't bring. Blah, blah.

I looked up at Judai. "Seriously?"

After hesitating, he nodded.

"Is this why you guys have been working your asses off?"

He nodded again, a small giggle escaping him.

I jumped from the bed, spilling hot chocolate everywhere. But I couldn't have cared less. I was too happy.

I scooped Judai into my arms and spun him around until his face turned green.

"Ju-chan! Holy shit! Do you know what this means?"

He laughed. "Yes, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me anyway."

"I'm gonna be a singer! I'll be able to meet all these famous people!" I gasped, as a sudden thought came to me. "We can meet Ryan Star! The guy who made our first time absolutely _amazing!_ Of course, we don't have to tell him that."

Judai threw his head back and guffawed. Then he put himself back into my arms. "I'm glad you're so excited."

I was about to tell him how that was a major understatement but I stopped when I heard cheering coming from Asuka and Jim's room. "Were they eavesdropping?"

Judai nodded as he rolled his eyes.

I laughed as I walked up to the wall. "Thanks guys!"

"You're welcome, mate!" Jim replied.

Judai snickered. "What song are you gonna play?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. There are lots I want to."

"Will you tell me when you choose?"

Smirking, I shook my head. "It'll be a surprise."

Once he pouted, I looked away. There was absolutely nothing worse than when Judai gave you the puppy-dog pout. "No!" I shouted. "I'm not falling for that again!"

He sighed and crossed his arms. "Fine. But you're cleaning that mess up."

I looked over my shoulder and growled when I saw a huge brown stain from when I spilled my drink.

I looked over at Judai, about to ask him for help but stopped when I saw him lying on the clean side of the bed. He had his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.

"Thanks, Judai," I said sarcastically.

He didn't stir.

I chuckled to myself and went to the kitchen to get some rags. Once most of the mess was clean, I was about to tell Judai to quit pretending so I could change the sheets. But when I looked up, he really was asleep.

I could tell because he was breathing slowly and deeply, his eyes were moving behind his eyelids, telling me he was dreaming and his jaw was moving back and forth like he was sucking on a piece of chocolate. That was just a thing he does. I noticed it on the night of the Halloween party. You know, before I left.

I winced at the memory.

I pushed the thought away as I gently picked the sleeping brunette up. I carried him to the couch so I could change the sheets.

When everything was clean again, I carried Judai back to the bed. And I was about to go to sleep until I caught a glimpse of the calendar.

Today was February first. Auditions were February third.

My eyes widened, exhaustion disappearing. I had to cover my mouth to keep from shouting.

Forty-one hours! That's it! That's all I had! What the hell? Couldn't Judai have told me sooner? Shit!

I forced myself to take a deep breath as I pulled out my song journal. I decided on play a song I've already written instead of making a new one. Creating a song takes lots of patience. One thing I don't exactly have right now.

If I made it into the contest, maybe I'd write a new one. But that's a definite maybe.

Somewhere after eight, Judai woke up from his nap.

"What're you doing?" he asked groggily.

"Trying to pick a song for the audition. You didn't exactly give me much time, Ju-chan."

"Sorry."

I smiled at him. A real one. "It's ok. It'll all work out." I kissed his forehead. "You hungry?"

He nodded.

"Me too. I'll go make us some…_hotdogs._"

Judai smirked as he remembered what happened last time I made them. "Not tonight, Jo-kun. I'm too tired."

I chuckled evilly. "We'll just have to see about that."

"I'm serious, Johan."

"Uh-huh."

"Johan!"

An hour later, we were lying next to each other, sweating bullets and panting.

"This…doesn't mean anything," Judai said seriously.

I laughed. "I was still right though."

He stuck his tong out at me childishly. Of course I replied with a cocky "I thought you were too tired for that?".

Judai laughed. "Ew! I'm in love with a pervert!"

"You bet your ass you are."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

Judai took the day off on the day of auditions which I was happy for. I was extremely nervous and somehow, holding his hand seemed to calm my nerves.

It also helped that Judai was trying to guess what song I'm playing. But I've stumped him. Instead of bringing my acoustic guitar, I brought my electric. Judai hasn't hear much of the songs I've written with the electric guitar so it's amusing to watch him guess.

"Is it that song you played at the party in September?" Judai asked. "Uh, what was it…? Awake and Alive?"

I smiled as I remembered that. "No. But nice guess."

He sighed. "Are you sure you didn't write a new one?"

I laughed. "I'm sure, Ju-chan."

"But-"

"Johan Anderson?" the judge called, interrupting Judai.

I swallowed hard and Judai squeezed my hand. "Good luck."

I slowly walked up the stage and tried to stay calm.

The judges looked aggravated. Maybe because they had to listen to a thousand Avril Lavigne wannabes sing. Hopefully I could change that.

I plugged my guitar to the amp and began to strum the strings. Judai never heard this song before. I guess that was a little mean of me, letting him guess even though I knew he wouldn't get it. But hey, it calmed me down.

Taking one final deep breath, I started to sing.

"_I waited for you today_

_But you didn't show._

_No, no, no…_

_I needed you today,_

_So where did you go?"_

"_You told me to call,_

_Said you'd be there._

_And though I haven't seen you_

_Are you still there?"_

The judges were starting to perk up. They were sitting up straight and talking to each other. Of course I couldn't hear a word they were saying but they were smiling. Hopefully not making fun of me.

I looked up at Judai and though I could see the sadness in his eyes, he was smiling at me. He gave me a thumbs up.

I knew Judai didn't like that I still thought about Yusei. He had his heart set on healing me completely. But he already has. I'm not sure why that's so hard for him to grasp.

I no longer feel sad when I think about Yusei. I feel happy. I'm happy that he's still a part of me and I'm glad I can think of him and still love Judai.

"_I cried out with no reply_

_And I can't feel you by my side._

_So I'll hold tight to what I know_

_You're here and I'm never alone!"_

"_And though I cannot see you_

_And I can't explain why,_

_Such a deep, deep reassurance_

_You've placed in my life."_

"_We cannot separate_

'_Cause you're a part of me._

_And though you're invisible,_

_I'll trust the unseen."_

And then out of nowhere, I saw something flicker to my right.

Looking over, I saw Yusei, standing next to me and smiling. I could feel his hand caressing my cheek and I had to blink several times to keep the tears at bay.

"_I cried out with no reply_

_And I can't feel you by my side!_

_So I'll hold tight to what I know,_

_You're here and I'm never alone!"_

I let my fingers slid on and off of the strings as I looked back at Yusei. He opened his mouth and started to speak. I couldn't hear him but I could read his lips.

"I love you."

I smiled at him and whispered, "I love you too," so the microphone wouldn't get it. I don't think it did.

I looked back at Judai and saw him waving to Yusei. So he could see him too.

Laughing, Yusei waved back and then kept his eyes on me.

When the song was finished, the judges tried to keep their faces expressionless but I could see the light in their eyes.

"Thank you, Mr. Anderson. We'll call you."

Somehow, that line didn't sound as disappointing as it usually does. I mean, I know they say it to everyone but you can tell that some of them are lies. This one, I wasn't so sure about.

I unplugged my guitar, nodded a goodbye to Yusei and left the stage.

When I reached Judai he shot daggers at me, which took me off guard.

"What?" I asked, bewildered.

"I thought you said you didn't write a new song?"

I laughed and kissed him. "I didn't. You've just never heard it before."

His jaw dropped. "And you didn't _tell_ me?"

I laughed again. "Sorry."

"Meanie."

"C'mon," I said, steering him to my bike. "Let's go home."

"Did you see Yusei up there?" Judai asked as I started the engine.

I smiled. "I did. I wonder how he knew where I was. Do you think he follows me around all day?"

Judai laughed. "No, silly! I told him you'd be there."

"When?"

"A couple weeks ago. You were supposed to take me to work but you were still sleeping. Instead of waking you up, I left you a note. And before I went to the store, I stopped at the cemetery and invited him."

"How did I end up with such a cool dude?"

Judai smiled. "I just have extremely low standards."

I laughed. "That's not what you said two nights ago."

Again, his jaw dropped.

I turned around, the smile still planted on my face and took off.

**All right! I hoped you guys enjoyed it! I sure did! Lol thanks for the song request Sakural7865! I really enjoyed the song and I'm pretty sure I'll be adding it onto my iPod haha**

**Review plz!**

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	33. To Be Imperfect Is The Real Treat

**So, it's been another two weeks. I'm trying not to make this a habit but I just couldn't find any time to write lol. Last weekend my friend threw me an awesome birthday party and we ended up spending the night at her place and eating lots of candy. Then yesterday, we watched the season premiere of Supernatural (which was amazing by the way). If you haven't watched it yet, you should.**

**And I'm sorry if this chapter sucks cuz I'm not exactly feeling well and my brain feels kinda fogged lol.**

**Unfortunately, I couldn't find any song requests I liked : ( Sorry, if I broke any hearts.**

**Song: 6 Months by Hey Monday**

**Judai's POV**

I slammed the books back onto their shelves, earning stares from everyone in the store.

"'_We'll call you_," I muttered. "You bet your ass you're calling him!"

Another book was slammed.

"You give a freakin' Avril Lavigne wannabe the time of day but not a musical genius? Ridiculous."

"Judai-kun, are you ok?"

I smiled at my boss. "I'm fine."

"Well, try not to scare all of the customers away with all that banging."

"Sorry." I wiped the innocent smile off my face once he left. Was I ok? No. I was pissed.

I couldn't believe those judges! They were all smiles with everyone else but when Johan went up, they didn't show a lick of emotion. They actually came off as bored. And then, "We'll call you." Kiss my ass, bitches.

When my phone began to vibrate, I slipped into the back room to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Judai. It's Asuka."

"Oh, hey! What's up?"

"Did Johan go to the auditions or did he chicken out?"

I laughed. "He went and he did amazing though the judges were pricks."

"Yeah, that's how most of them are. But no one can deny that Johan's a good singer."

"I hope you're right."

"Aren't I always," she said smugly.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever, I have to get back to work. I'll see you later."

"Ok, bye."

I hung up and looked at the clock. Only a few more hours and I was out of there.

When the boss asked me where I'd gone, I lied and said I was in the bathroom. If you couldn't tell, he doesn't like me that much. He doesn't like anyone. Definitely not a people person.

When my shift ended, instead of riding with Johan, I got on my own bike.

Last night, Johan refused to sleep. He was waiting for that phone call the judges promised him. Obviously, he never got it. He skipped classes today because he was sleep deprived.

The anger I had earlier for the judges came rushing back to me. In my anger, I let go of the clutch too early and almost flipped myself over.

Taking a deep breath, I got the engine running without injuring myself.

It was a couple minutes past seven when I got back to my dorm.

The minute I opened the door, I knew something wasn't right. It was too quiet. You could practically hear the silence.

I swallowed. "Johan?"

Nothing.

I walked into the bedroom to find the bed made. The sheets were cold which meant no one had been in them for quite a while.

I turned around and was about to ask Asuka and Jim but I stopped when I saw a note on the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I read it.

_At the old music store._

_Come meet me after work._

_-Johan_

Throwing the note in the trash, I grabbed my keys again and sped to the store.

I parked next Johan's bike just as he opened the door.

I quickly joined him.

"Took you long enough."

I smacked his arm. "If you'd have called me like a normal person, I would've been here sooner."

Johan laughed. "Sorry."

I kissed his jaw. "Did you get anything to eat?"

He shook his head. "No, but the pizza I ordered should be here soon."

"Yum."

Johan hummed in agreement.

"Did you write anything new?"

"I'm almost finished, yeah." He grabbed my guitar. "In the meantime, I found another song you might be able to play."

"What is it?" I asked excitedly.

"It's called six months by Hey Monday. It'd kinda girly though."

I laughed. "We're queerer than three dollar bills anyway!"

His eyes widened but I could see the smile playing with his lips. "I'm offended."

"Fine, then I guess you won't be making anymore hotdogs for us then."

His eyes widened even more. "Just kidding!"

I giggled and took the guitar. "Show me how it goes."

Johan grabbed his own guitar and played the short intro. But when he kept playing, I interrupted him.

"Sing."

He chuckled. "Oh, alright." Then started over.

"_You're the direction I follow, to get home._

_And when I feel like I can't go on,_

_You tell me to go._

_And it's like I can't feel a thing_

_Without you around._

_And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees,_

'_Cause you have that effect on me._

_You do."_

"_Everything you say,_

_Every time we kiss, I can't think straight._

_But I'm ok!_

_And I can't think of anybody else_

_Who I hate to miss_

_As much as I hate missing you."_

His voice was mesmerizing but I managed to keep half of my attention to the fingerings.

"_Months going strong now, no goodbye._

_Unconditional, unoriginal,_

_Always by my side._

_Meant to be together, meant for no one but each other, you love me I love you harder!_

_So…"_

"_Everything you say,_

_Every time we kiss, I can't think straight._

_But I'm ok!_

_And I can't think of anybody else,_

_Who I hate to miss_

_As much as I hate missing you._

_So, please_

_Give me your hands._

_So, please,_

_Give me a lesson on how to steal,_

_Steal a heart_

_As fast as you stole mine._

_As you stole mine!"_

"_Oh, everything you say,_

_Every time we kiss I can't think straight._

_But I'm ok!_

_And I can't think of anybody else,_

_Who I hate to miss_

_As much as I hate missing you,_

_So, please,_

_Give me your hands._

_So, please,_

_Just take my hand."_

Johan looked at me, waiting for me to try. But I honestly didn't think I could recreate something so beautiful.

He saw the look on my face and laughed. "C'mon, Ju-chan. It's easy."

"For you," I added.

"Just try."

I picked up the guitar and tried to play the first chord but played it on the wrong fret. "Sorry."

"It's ok. Try again, That's what practice is for."

My hands were sweating and I had to wipe them on my jeans. I don't remember ever being so nervous around Johan. What was it?

Maybe the way that he sat across from me, waiting for me to play it perfectly like he did, sing it like he did.

I think this was the first time that I've felt inferior to him.

Johan frowned and came to sit next to me. "What?"

I shrugged. I'm not perfect like you."

Johan laughed and slung his arm around my shoulders. "No one's perfect. Especially not me. You should know that."

I could feel the blush warming my cheeks.

"Hold on." He got up and surfed through boxes and shelves until he pulled out what looked like a shiny black cork screw. He opened it and put it on the first fret of my guitar.

"What is that?" I laughed.

"It's a capo."

"a Cato? You mean, from the Green Hornet?"

Johan smiled. "No, a _capo_. With a P."

"What does it do?"

"It raises the pitch of the guitar. Go on, try playing it. It'll sound so much better than the version I played. Here, play the first chord like this." He placed my fingers on the right strings. Then I took the pick and played it.

Same notes, just a higher pitch, like Johan said.

"That's so cool!"

Johan laughed. "Isn't it?"

I played the rest of the song, almost flawlessly. Sometimes I messed up but Johan helped me get it right.

"See?" said Johan. "I told you, you could play it."

I was about to kiss him when we heard a car pull up.

"I'll go get it," Johan said.

He paid the pizza guy and carried the warm box over. "Dig in."

We sat and played. But mostly we talked. I told him about my little temper tantrum at work and he told me the crazy dreams he had of me chasing a piece of chocolate into the Mediterranean Sea. Don't even ask me what that has to do with anything.

When it was almost eleven, we decided to get back to our dorms.

But when we drove, we couldn't drive very fast because it was dark and some of the roads were icy. I wasn't taking any chances.

We got back at twenty after and shivering from cold.

When we got into the warm dorm, I couldn't help but sneeze.

"Are you getting sick?" Johan asked as he took off his jacket.

"I hope not," I said taking off my jacket. But just in case I was, I left my sweatshirt on. The phone was blinking a yellow light which meant someone had left us a message. I pressed play.

"Hi, my name's Denis and I'm from Who's Got Talent. I'd like to inform Johan Anderson that he has been chosen to play in the competition. It will be held at the Miji Jingu Baseball Stadium on February fifteenth at seven. Congratulations and good luck." _Beep_.

I turned around to see Johan standing by the door, eyes wide. "Did he say what I think he just said?"

Johan nodded.

A second later, we were jumping and cheering and got complaints from everyone else in the Blue Dorm. But we didn't care. We were having way too much fun.

Asuka barged in after a couple minutes of our cheering. "What the hell is wrong with you two? I'm trying to sleep!"

"I got into the competition!" Johan yelled.

She gasped. "Really?"

We nodded.

"Oh, that's so amazing!" She gave Johan a huge bear hug. "It's on the fifteenth, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ah, that's so cool! I can't wait!" She laughed and gave Johan another hug. "But in the meantime, _be quiet!_" Then she stormed back out and slammed the door shut.

I cracked up in hysterics. And soon Johan joined me.

I took a deep breath and then changed into my PJ's. Then I climbed into bed with Johan and fell asleep.

**Alrighty. What'd you guys think? Good? Bad? In between? Be honest. I think I did pretty well for a sick person haha**

**Review plz!**

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	34. Ready Or Not, Here I Come

**So, it's been another two weeks…ugh. I'm really sorry guys. High school sucks. And this is supposed to be sophomore year. **_**Sophomore.**_** Does anyone at my school know what that means? It means that it's supposed to be a lazy year and they've got us busting our asses. FTW**

**Well, enough with my ranting. So, remember way back towards the beginning of the story, I said that I'd try to give a song to every chapter but some, I might not be able to? Lol this chapter would be one of them. Seriously, I looked for hours, trying to figure out how to put a song in here but for some reason, I just couldn't. Sorry!**

**Johan's POV**

My pencil was flying across the page, creating complicated twists and turns like it were writing ancient Greek.

We were supposed to be watching the documentary the teacher was showing us but I couldn't stop. It was like my hands had a mind of their own.

I was so lost in my work, I didn't notice that the video came to a sudden stop.

"Mr. Anderson?"

Now, my hands decided to stop as I looked up.

My teacher stood over my desk, tapping his foot. "Would you like to share with the class?"

I caught Judai's eye a couple seats down from me. He looked concerned. I winked at him.

"Not exactly."

Mr. Burwell snatched my paper and gaped. Then looked at me hesitantly, like was about to start speaking in tongues.

"What is this?"

I cleared my throat. "In all due respect, I don't think that's any of your business." Then I thought about the contest coming up. "But you'll find out real soon."

Yeah, I know how creepy I sounded there. But the excitement was starting to get to me.

Judai looked like he was bracing himself for a life and death battle while Jim laughed next to him.

"Johan, are you feeling all right?"

I smirked as I said, "I've never been better." Ok, that one, I admit, was on purpose. But this possessed-by-demon-act was fun.

Finally Burwell turned around and continued lecturing.

Judai was still looking my way.

I smiled at him to tell him I was only screwing around and he rolled his eyes and faced forward.

After class, the three of us headed to the cafeteria for lunch.

"What was that he was looking at?" Judai asked.

I smiled. "Just music notes. But I was trying to do it so fast, some of them just looked like scribbles. I wonder what Burwell thought it was."

Jim was still laughing by the time we sat down at the table with Asuka. "Baby, you missed the best class ever."

Judai giggled as Asuka looked at us expectantly. "Do I wanna know?"

Jim tried to tell the story, but none of us couldn't understand his words around his laughs. So Judai and I picked it up from there.

Asuka shook her head at me. "You're so weird."

"You're just now noticing that?"

She laughed. "Yeah, good point."

For the rest of the hour, we talked about projects and other school junk.

Next class, we didn't have assigned seats so naturally I sat next to Judai and Asuka sat with Jim. This was usually the period where we start gossiping with our appropriate other,

But right when the bell rang, our teacher hung the phone up on whoever she was talking to and looked at me. "Johan?"

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Sheilds would like to see you in her office."

As much as I liked Alice, I wasn't sure if I wanted to skip a whole hour that I could be spending with Judai. But I stood up anyway and said goodbye to my little brunette.

As I walked down the hall, I was still a little upset I had to leave class but when I stepped into Alice's room, I realized how long it's been. Sure, I see her everyday but I can't remember the last time we really talked.

I was about to hug her when she started shouting at me.

"What the hell, Johan?"

I froze, completely confused. "What?"

"When were you planning on telling me, you jerk!"

It took me a minute to understand what the hell she was talking about. "Oh, yeah! The contest! Alice, I'm so sorry. Things have been so crazy."

"Yeah, I bet! Because listening to a judge tell you you're pure talent is so hard!"

I lifted a brow. "Well, that's not exactly how it went down, but whatever makes you feel better."

Her scowl melted and she smiled. "I'm just kidding, Johan. Come give me a hug."

I did.

"Congratulations, hon."

"Thank you," I said.

"When did you find out?" she asked.

"Two nights ago."

"Wow. Have you figured out what song you'll play?"

I shook my head, disappointed. "Not yet. I've been trying to write something but I can't get it right. I want it to be perfect, you know?"

Alice nodded. "I understand. Well, I just wanted to congratulate you. If you need any help, I'm always here. Don't be afraid to ask."

"All right, thanks."

"Here, let me write you a pass so you don't get in trouble." She took a piece of scrap paper from her desk and scribbled down on it. "There you go. See you in a few hours."

I smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "See ya later."

I walked back to my class, and handed my pass to the teacher. Then I took my seat next to Judai.

"What did Alice want?" Judai asked.

I smiled. "Just wanted to talk. I told her about the contest. I think she's more excited than I am."

Judai giggled. "Well duh! Do you know how famous she'll be after you win? She'll be the woman who taught Johan Anderson how to play music!"

I laughed. "Yeah, if I win."

Judai pinched my arm and I had to cover my mouth so I wasn't too loud. "I didn't say _if_. I said _when._ Don't downplay yourself, Jo-kun. Everyone knows you're gonna win."

I smiled again and kissed him. "Thank you."

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

After classes, I went to my dorm while Judai went to Shou's. They had a project they needed to work on and I had to work on my music.

It had only felt like five minutes when Judai walked through the door. "That was quick."

Judai lifted his brow. "Johan, I was there for four hours."

I looked at the time and it said ten minutes after seven. "Wow."

Judai sat next to me and took my journal. "Is this what you've been working on all this time?"

I nodded.

He took a moment and read what I wrote. "You're trying too hard."

For some reason, that upset me. Writing songs were supposed to be easy for me but this one just wasn't working. "What do you know? You just started playing."

Judai looked up. "No need to get snippy. I'm just trying to help."

I sighed. "I know, I'm sorry."

Judai laughed. "I see where your going with it. You're trying to find personal experience to write about so it has that epicness that everyone loves. But you're allowed to make things up."

I looked at him inquisitively.

"Like Daughtry for example. You've heard their new single right?"

I nodded.

"Well, the lead singer, Chris Daughtry? He's got a wife and kids. You really think he's going around talking about his wife like that? You really think he thinks love sucks?"

I laughed. "No."

"Ok, then. You can do the same thing. Just think of it like a story you're writing."

"I'm not that good at writing."

Judai smirked. "I am."

"Ok, then. Show me what you're working with."

He tapped his chin in thought. "Ok, so there's this couple right?"

I nodded.

"But their friends, parents, neighbors, they don't want them to be together. So they decide to run away together."

I nodded for him to continue.

"That's it."

"That's it?"

Judai laughed. "Yes. Now you take what I just said and write a song about it. Just put yourself in their shoes."

I took a deep breath and thought. If that were happening with me and Judai, then we'd drop out of college and get day jobs. We'd be able to make it.

Before I knew it, I was ripping out the song I was working on and started over. This one came a whole lot easier. Of course, I gave it more thought than my other ones since this one is more important. But it worked.

Judai finished up his homework and came to check on me every couple of minutes. By ten, my song was finished.

So it was official.

I was entering the contest.

I was singing the best song I've ever written.

I was going to win.

I was going to be a musician.

**Woot! Chapter 34 is done! lol i hoped you all enjoyed it. I really like writing it. Yeah, it was kind of a filler chapter but i thought it was too soon to have Johan enter the contest. But it might be next chapter? i'm not sure. I haven't decided yet.**

**Review plz!**

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	35. Mission Impossible: COMPLETED

**Ok, i know it's been forever since i've updated. But fanfiction was seriously acting like a dick by not letting me upload anything :( It wasn't my fault this time! Lol**

**So normally, I would've made this chapter in Judai's point of view but I thought it would make more sense to make it Johan's point of view again. So, here goes!**

**Songs: Renegade by Daughtry**

**Does It Really Matter by Theory of a Deadman**

**Sacrifice by Theory of a Deadman**

**Johan's POV**

I sat on the bed, the clock flashing six in the morning. My knee bounced without permission and my heart was pounding.

Judai lay next to me, his loud snores reminding me to inhale and exhale.

The strong wind streaming in from the open window made the calendar sway, as if it were taunting me.

_Feburary 20__th__, _it called. _Today's the day where everything you ever wanted is destroyed…_

Finally I stood, knocking down the damned thing and kneeled in front of the window.

Yes, I was aware that it was below freezing outside but the chill air felt great against my feverish skin.

I closed my eyes and took slow deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. And when I opened them again, I could see my reflection in the window.

My eyes were bloodshot, shining with madness. My lips were chapped and I bit my thumbnail so far down, there was a drop of blood welling at the top.

I stuck it in my mouth to try to stop the bleeding but the next thing I knew, I was chewing on the nail again, or lack thereof.

Sweat continued to seep through my shirt and drip down my face.

Looking over, I saw Judai shivering so I gave him an extra blanket but kept the window open as I grabbed my guitar and played lightly.

You'd think that holding the guitar would make things worse and it did for a second. But when I began to play my mother's lullaby, I could feel content spreading through me, relaxing my stiff shoulders and making my eyes droop.

My breathing evened out and suddenly, I felt warm, despite the cold air blowing against me.

I opened my eyes and saw a familiar hand resting on my knee.

Those beautiful cobalt eyes stared at me, smiling at me. He listened to me play. He didn't have to say anything, for he was an open book to me.

Yusei was telling me to stay calm and that everything would be fine.

The tune changed into Yusei's favorite song, Rascal Flatt's Every Day.

Yusei's smile widened and silently asked me to sing. But I shook my head and nodded toward Judai who was sleeping.

He frowned slightly but nodded in understanding.

Yusei just sat there with me as I played, switching songs and making them my own, which was exactly what I needed. I didn't want to hear everyone saying that everything would be ok. I just wanted to be a place where problem didn't exist. And for me, that place was anywhere my music was.

When seven hit and the sun started shining through, I stopped playing and shut the window and the blinds. Yusei was still there, watching me carefully as if I were a time bomb.

I smiled at him. "I'll be all right. You don't have to sit with me."

Yusei stood from his spot and gave me a kiss, which felt like a warm breeze passing over my lips. But it was nice nonetheless. Then he waved and disappeared.

Judai was still sleeping and I figured since I was relatively serene now, I could try to catch some Z's. So, I climbed into bed, trying not to shake the bed too much and closed my eyes. But sleep didn't come.

I opened my eyes to peek at the clock. Five minutes. Then I closed my eyes again. Five turned to ten and ten turned to twenty. After forty-five minutes, I gave up.

It was ten minutes to eight when I hopped in the shower. After I dressed, I looked out the window but didn't see Alice's car, which told me she was at home.

Judai was still sleeping and I'm pretty sure Asuka and Jim were too judging by the lack of noise.

So, I threw my jacket on and decided to go for a walk. I wanted to save my gas for the travel to the Baseball Stadium.

I had only taken a few steps when I slipped on a patch of ice.

Too lazy to try and get back up, I slouched onto the cold ground and groaned.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone."

I sat up and saw Yusei laughing at me. "I said I was fi-wait a minute." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're talking."

"Yep," he said.

I stood up. "So, you could've been talking the entire time?"

Yusei laughed again and I wasn't sure whether to smack him or cry. Hearing his voice again was wonderful. I almost forgot how it sounded. "Dude, you should see your face!"

I glared at him and crossed my arms, which was hard to do in a puffy winter jacket.

"I was only joking, Johan." He sighed. "Given, I shouldn't have let it go on for so long but I only wanted to see if you'd figure it out."

It was so like him and if things weren't so complicated, I probably would've laughed with him and let it go. But things _were_ complicated.

"Johan, I'm sorry," he said taking a step closer. "Truly, I am. Are you ok?"

I didn't answer him. I just looked away, still ticked about his little prank.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I turned and gripped his sleeve. "No."

Yusei smirked at me and I instantly regretted saying anything. He was bribing me.

"You haven't changed have you?" I meant for it to be firm but I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Not one bit." Yusei pulled me into a hug and I didn't have a choice but to return it. "Are you still nervous about the contest?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Then, what's the matter?"

I had to think about it for a moment. Why was I in such a bad mood?

"I'm bored." The answer was so lame, so juvenile, I couldn't help but laugh at it. Yusei laughed too.

"I see you haven't changed either," Yusei said.

"Guess not."

We stood there, watching the sun glisten against the snow, him keeping me warm. But it was kinda weird seeing him in his short sleeved shirt and jeans. Just looking at him made me shiver. But I guess ghosts don't get cold.

"What's it like up there?" I asked.

"Up where?"

I looked at him. "Heaven. Er…wherever it is you go."

Yusei shrugged. "I don't even know what it's called. I mean, I don't remember seeing some Egyptian dude weighing my guilt. I don't remember seeing a large gate with a man behind it, telling me if I qualify. I just woke up there."

"You woke up there?"

Yusei laughed. "I know, it's weird, right? First, I'm swerving my bike out that guy's way-"

I winced at the memory.

"-and the next, I'm lying in a patch of moist grass with yellow and purple flowers blooming all around me. For a minute, I thought I was the meadow we find behind the forest. Remember?"

I shook my head.

"Oh, c'mon, Johan."

I laughed. "Sorry, you're gonna have to jog my memory."

"Remember when we were six and we were boy scouts? My mom and your mom were talking while we both hid behind their legs, completely terrified of one another?"

I laughed, finally remembering. "Yeah, I remember. It took an hour for us to finally shake hands and talk."

"And when we started exploring, we left the group and found that meadow."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know the one you're talking about now! Oh, it was beautiful, wasn't it?"

"It was. Man, that thing was infested with dandelions."

"So, that's what it looks like?"

Yusei nodded. "For me anyway. But it's what I always imagined it would be. I think it's a different place for everyone, depending on what you believed in."

"What do you believe in?"

Yusei laughed. "It's funny because I never really decided. I guess you could say I was a Deist. I always knew there was some supernatural God running the place but I wasn't ready to say who it was yet."

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just thought it would be different."

"How so?"

"I always believed in reincarnation."

"Well, don't let me change your mind. If you strongly believe that's how the world runs, then I think you _will_ reincarnate. If you're soul is determined enough, it'll happen."

"You've been doing a lot of thinking, haven't you?"

"Johan, when there's nothing to do, that's all you can do. But that's only a guess. I don't exactly have any evidence."

The wind blew stronger but Yusei standing next to me, kept me warm. He was my space heater.

"And by the way, Judai's gonna publish his book."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

My jaw dropped. "I didn't even know he was working on one!"

Yusei smiled. "Relax. He hasn't started yet. But I saw it."

"Where?"

He kissed my cheek. "Sorry, but some things have to stay secret."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

"You'd better get back inside. Judai's waking up. I'll see you at the Stadium later today, all right?"

"Ok. Bye, Yusei."

"Bye, Johan."

When he left, the cold nearly gave me a heart attack. It was freezing! Geez, you'd think he'd be a gentleman and walk me to the door!

When I got into my dorm, I heard the shower running.

"Johan!" he called. "Is that you?"

"Yeah!" I answered. "Sorry to startle you!"

"Where were you?"

"Outside with Yusei. We were just talking."

The water stopped and a few moments later, Judai stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist. "He's gonna come to the show tonight, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he'll be there."

"Good. I have a feeling it's gonna be the best night of everyone's lives."

I chuckled. "Sure."

"Don't start with me, Johan Anderson," he said pointing a finger at me. "Because I will jack you up!" He tried his very best to use slang but it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.

I laughed. "What kind of accent was that?"

"I don't have no accent! I'm from da hood! And I have no problem jacking yo ass up!"

Tears were running down my face, I was laughing so hard. "Ju-chan, you're killing me."

Judai giggled. "I'm sorry. I'm just so excited!"

I laughed. "Me too. But in the meantime, let's get something to eat."

After breakfast, we watched movies all day. Literally. We were desperate for a distraction. Because each time we looked at the time, it seemed to go even more painfully slower than it already was.

Finally at five, we were grabbing our keys and our jackets and anything else we needed.

Jim and Asuka were already in their car and honking the horn for us to hurry up.

We decided to all cramp into Jim's jeep to the stadium.

Finally, we were in the car and driving.

We rolled down the windows and started screaming as if we were on a rollercoaster at Six Flags.

Judai plugged in his iPod and then suddenly we were all singing/screaming to Paramore's Where The Lines Overlap.

**SPIRITSHIPPING 4EVER!**

An hour later, we were pulling into the parking lot of Mingi Jinju Baseball Stadium.

Jim stopped the engine and we just sat there in silence as we stared at it. We were so psyched, we couldn't speak.

But then I saw Yusei standing in front of our door, knocking on the window. "You guys coming?"

Judai gasped. "He can talk!"

"Who can talk?" Asuka asked, confused.

"No one," we said simultaneously.

Yusei was laughing and it was weird because we couldn't glare at him or tell him to hush because now both Jim and Asuka were staring at us like we were crazy.

"Whatever. Let's just go," Jim said as he unlocked the doors and got out.

I followed him and elbowed Yusei.

"Sorry," he said.

Judai came up to me. "He can talk?" he whispered.

"Yes," Yusei answered. "You should've seen Johan's face when he found out. He was so pissed."

"Bet your ass I was," I muttered.

We stood in line behind everyone else and waited until the two people who were handling the money got to us.

I showed them the pass I got in the mail. "I'm participating in the contest."

The girl took my pass. "What's your name, hon?"

"Johan Anderson."

She ripped something off that looked like one of the stickers you see on American Idol. "Stick this on your shirt."

I did.

"Go down the hall, second door on your right."

"Thanks."

"I'll meet you on the stage, Johan," Yusei said, still standing next to Judai. "Break a leg."

I smiled at him.

When I got to the right room, I sat in one of the chairs and took a good look at my competitors.

Most of them were girls but there was one voice I heard that was absolutely wonderful. I never knew someone with that deep of a voice could be good but it was amazing. It kind of reminded me of Scotty McGreary or the lead singer of Pearl Jam.

I turned around and I could finally put a face to a voice. He was about my age. No more than twenty. His eyes were a dark blue, his red hair falling into his eyes and his shirt hugged him tightly. Every girl was staring at him.

Of course, he had a far away look in his eyes, so he probably didn't notice. He just continued to sing along with the song playing on is iPod. It was a country song. Country wasn't my favorite but I'd willingly listen to this guy if he hadn't already pissed me off.

I sighed. I couldn't help but feel angry. This guy was amazing! But what I was really worried about was his looks. I know a lot of shows were there was a person who one because of how he or she looked and not because of their talent. I really hoped it wouldn't happen tonight.

When he finished singing, he blinked a few times and noticed everyone staring and went as red as his hair.

I could feel my heart beating faster and sweat start to bead up at the top of my head. So I pulled out my guitar and started playing Mom's lullaby.

I'm not sure what I was expecting to see. Maybe a standing ovation once I finished but I got nothing. Nothing compared to the attention Mr. Hottie over there.

Someone entered the room, that I recognized to be the judge who was at auditions.

She congratulated everyone in the room but she held her gaze on me longer than anyone else's which made me smile.

_Don't get your hopes up_, I told myself.

She went over the rules again and told everyone how the contest was going to be run. There would be cameras filming us live and just to stay calm. There was a screen in the room that showed us what was being shown on TV and when we heard our names, calmly walk on stage so the camera could follow us, blah, blah, blah.

Finally the lights dimmed and the show started. I should've felt nervous. But I didn't. Knowing that everyone I want was here cheering for me, including Yusei.

The first one was Ciara Meinhart. She was the one who tried to climb on top of Mr. Hottie's lap after he was finished singing.

I rolled my eyes as I watched her switch her nonexistent hips and flip her obviously fake blonde hair. And she sang something that absolutely _no one_ was expecting. And mind you, I'm being sarcastic.

A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson.

OMG! That doesn't surprise me at all!

Fortunately, every other girl had the common sense to pick someone less popular, someone unique.

After the third commercial break Mr. Hottie was up, aka Jackson Harple.

I couldn't help but sing along when I heard the song.

"_They don't seem to know your name,_

_Does it really matter?_

_They don't even shed a tear, for you._

_They don't seem to waste no time_

_To fill your locker._

_They don't give a second thought, for you._

_Oh, things have gotta change!"_

"_I'm sorry that I never said_

_How much you had really meant._

_It's hard to say but now you're gone,_

_So does it really matter?_

_I'm sorry that I never tried_

_To tell you I was on your side._

_Now, you're gone…"_

"_You're spending all your time alone_

'_Cause you don't need them._

_No one can see the pain, inside of you._

_You just wanna say goodbye,_

_You're giving up now._

_I think the letter says it all, it's not your fault._

_Oh, things have gotta change!"_

"_I'm sorry that I never said_

_How much you had really meant._

_It's hard to say but now you're gone,_

_So does it really matter?_

_I'm sorry that I never tried_

_To tell you I was on your side._

_It's hard to say but now you're gone,_

_So does it really matter?"_

"_Did it hurt as much that day_

_As every other?_

_So I light a candle in, your name."_

"_I'm sorry that I never said_

_How much you had really meant._

_It's hard to say but now you're gone,_

_So does it really matter?_

_I'm sorry that I never tried_

_To tell you I was on your side._

_It's hard to say but now you're gone_

_So does it really matter?"_

"_It's hard to say but now you're gone,_

_To me it really matters!"_

"_Does it really matter?"_

The crowd went wild! The judges could barely concentrate on what they were writing because everyone was so loud. Eventually they had to cut to another commercial so everyone would shut up!

Jackson came back into the room, his face flustered and out of breath. All of the girls jumped on him, telling him how amazing he was and "secretly" writing their numbers down on his palms. I wasn't even sure how they could fit that many numbers at that poor guy.

After a couple of minutes, I was up. So, I walked onto the stage, not making eye contact with the camera as I was told but jumped when I saw Yusei standing up there too. I thought he'd grab a seat somewhere but I guess not.

I gripped my electric guitar and began to sing.

"_Do you wanna feel like a rebel?_

_Renegade on the run?_

_Real live wire cross fire riding shotgun."_

"_Not talking about making a deal with the Devil,_

_I said nothing about selling your soul._

_Call it what you will_

_If you start to feel out of control._

_Here we go!"_

"_Can you hear the sound of the turning wheels?_

_Burning the road, like it's never been down._

_I'm breaking out of this town like a renegade._

_So baby, get ready to runDon't have any time here left to kill_

_Don't wanna go down like the settin' Sun So let's break out of this town like a renegade_

_Can't wait another minuteI'm right here, ready to run"_

_"Don't you wanna feel like a rebelRenegade on the run?Real live wire in the cross fire ridin' shotgun"_

_"One-hundred miles an hour with the top rolled downRacin' the wind breakin' out this townTryin' to get lost but don't want to be found, yeah"_

_"Here we go! Here we go!"_

"_Can you hear the sound of the turnin' wheels? Burnin' the road like it's never been down I'm breakin' out of this town like a renegade_

_So baby, get ready to run Don't have any time here left to kill_

_Don't wanna go down like the settin' Sun So let's break out of this town like a renegade"_

_"Can't wait another minuteI'm right here, ready to run"_

_"Gonna ride tonight, ride tonight, yeahHey! Gonna ride tonight"_

_"Can you hear the sound of the turnin' wheels? Burnin' the road like it's never been down I'm breakin' out of this town like a renegade_

_So baby, get ready to run Don't have any time here left to kill_

_Don't wanna go down like the settin' Sun So let's break out of this town like a renegade_

_Can't wait another minuteI'm right here, ready to run"_

_"Don't wanna go down So let's break out of this town like a renegade_

_Can't wait another minuteI'm right here, ready to run"_

Everything was so loud from here! I felt like my eardrums were going to pop from all that screaming. And it didn't help that Yusei was screaming right next to me and sticking his tongue out like one of the guys from the band Kiss. Although, it was quite amusing.

I found my friends and smiled at them. I think their screams were the loudest. Yeah, thanks guys for the hearing aid I now require.

I exited the stage and that when my jitters came back. Now they were going to cut to another commercial as they decided the winner.

After a long break one of the judges, a man this time, came into the back room.

"Hello everyone," he said. "I hope you all had a great time tonight."

We all cheered.

"You were all great. I'd like to congratulate you for getting here this far. The winner will be announced in just a moment. But I want you all to remember that even if you don't win, try again. This isn't the only way to get a record deal. There are tons of people from music companies listening to you all and I'm sure more than one person is leaving here with a big prize. Good luck, you guys. I hope to see some of you next year."

Then he left and took his place back in his chair as the show returned.

The host took the stage. "All right, everyone! Welcome back! I'm sure everyone's excited to find out who the winner is but this competition isn't over just yet."

Everyone gasped and looked at one another in shock.

"Tonight is a bit different. There was a draw between Jackson Harple and Johan Anderson!"

I looked over at the redhead who looked just as confused as me.

"Unfortunately, only one person can leave with the record deal, so how about we have a sing-off?"

The audience was going nuts.

"Please welcome back to the stage, Jackson!"

He stood up but looked absolutely terrified. "I don't even know what I'm gonna sing!"

"C'mon, don't be shy!"

He shook his head.

I stood up and placed my hand on his shoulder. He seemed to be surprised it was me. Judging from how mad I was at him earlier, I guess this is a surprise to you. But the guy looked like he really cared about music and wanted to win fair and square. So he was all right with me.

"Hey," I said. "I guess you already know my name. But uh, you know that song you were singing earlier?"

Jackson nodded.

"Sing that."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Positive. Good luck out there."

Jackson smiled. "Thanks. You too."

He stepped onto the stage, taking his guitar with him and he began to sing.

Jackson sounded amazing singing rock songs. But his voice was meant to sing country. And that's why I sat here, slouching in my chair, knowing I had ruined all of my hard work.

My chances of winning may have been evenly matched with Jackson before. But now, as he sang country, I knew that I didn't have any.

When he finished, he was told to stay onstage. Then I was called up.

I wracked my brain, trying to think of a song that I'd written, although I guess it didn't matter anymore.

I held my guitar and sucked in a breath getting ready to sing until I realized I still hadn't picked a song. I was drawing a blank.

Thankfully, Yusei came up to me and whispered, even though he didn't have to. I mean, it's not like anyone was going to hear him.

When I got the song he wanted me to sing, I knew it was perfect. I had written this song while trying to get over Yusei's death. It was a bit dark and angry but hopefully it would pull me through.

"_No, I don't need a reason to be breathin'_

_Just here doin what I can._

_No, I don't want a family who would damn me_

_And resent everything I am._

_No, I don't need to prove to all the ones who_

_Feel that I need to fit in._

_No, I won't ever tell you, that I failed you,_

_I'd rather start life over again."_

"_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll be no sacrifice today."_

"_No, I can see it clearly_

_Why you feel me._

_Why you gotta bring me down?_

_No, I don't wanna fight you,_

_Just to spite you_

_But I'm not afraid to take you out."_

"_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll bee no sacrifice today."_

"_Everybody expects me to break,_

_But I'll never break down again._

_Everybody expects me to give up,_

_But you'll never see me giving in._

_Everybody wants me to lose,_

_But I'll never lose who I am._

_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll be no sacrifice today."_

"_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll be no sacrifice today."_

"_Everybody expects me to break,_

_But I'll never break down again._

_Everybody expects me to give up_

_But you'll never see me giving in._

_Everybody wants me to lose_

_But I'll never lose who I am._

_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll be no sacrifice today."_

"_No, I'm sorry to say,_

_There'll be no sacrifice today."_

"_No sacrifice today._

_No sacrifice today."_

Again, with the hearing aid. Ouch! These contests should come with earplugs!

"All right! Nice job to the both of you. Now, the winner…will be announced after this."

The crowed groaned in impatience.

So Jackson and I were made to sit in the room together, the anticipation ringing in our ears (but I'm suspecting that was from almost going deaf) and our hearts beating like crazy. And they wanted us to wait another five minutes? Oh, hell no!

But we waited. And waited. And waited, and waited until _finally_ we were called back onto the stage. I swear, if I see one more commercial, I will kill myself on the spot.

"All right! The moment you've all been waiting for!" The host pulled out the envelope that held a card that either said Jackson Harple or Johan Anderson. "The winner is…"

I literally counted sixty seconds before he finally finished his sentence.

I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to cover my ears. I wasn't sure if I could stand it if I heard Jackson's name. I guess that's what I get for running my mouth and getting my hopes up.

It was really coming back to bite me in the ass.

"Johan Anderson."

I sighed and almost turned to go back in the stage when I finally stopped and thought.

Johan Anderson.

My name is Johan Anderson.

My name was on that card.

It was me! I won! I won!

My eyes were wide and I almost couldn't hear all the screaming through my heartbeat.

"Congratulations, Johan. Sorry, Jackson but you were amazing as well."

My cheeks hurt. I wanted to stop smiling but I just couldn't! It was me! I did it! I'm a singer! Oh, I hope Alice is watching!

The camera zoomed up on me and I waved and said the obvious thing. "Hi, Mom!"

After what seemed like forever, the show was over and I was free to go wherever I pleased.

I jumped off the stage and ran into Judai!

Judai was screaming at the top of his lungs, almost killing my ears but I didn't care. "You did it! You did it!"

"I did!" I kissed him. "Oh my God, Ju-chan I can't believe it."

I hugged Asuka and Jim too and we just stood there for fifteen minutes screaming nonsense to each other.

When we started to simmer down, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around and saw someone who looked to be the age of thirty. "Hello, Johan. My name is Tyler Pettit. I'm from A&M Records and I would be _more_ than happy to record one of your songs."

I shook his hand firmly and tried not to act sophisticated, because not only was this the path to my career. This was the path to a new life.

I was leaving all the drama and all of the bullshit in my old life behind. I was starting a new that had Asuka, Jim, Judai and most importantly, Yusei. I had all that I needed. Now, there was only one more thing left to do.

Start living.

**l**

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	36. Only The Beginning

**Hey guys! So you got off easy this time lol only a three day wait! Haha well I'm sorry to say but this fic has to come to an end. But let's make this the best chapter and do this one last time, huh?**

**Song: Made For You by OneRepublic (without the extra stuff at the end lol)**

**Johan's POV**

Judai and I were lying on the sofa, in our new apartment, watching Saturday morning cartoons. Yeah, I know. Kinda lame. But have you ever just sat there and looked at it? It's surprisingly still amusing. Even for a twenty year old like me.

A couple minutes later, someone knocked on the door. I moved to get up but Judai got there first. He glanced through the peephole before answering it. "Hey, Asuka."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" she yelled, snatching off her glasses even though it was cloudy outside. "You guys aren't even dressed?"

"It's a Saturday morning," Judai and I said together.

She pulled up her jacket sleeve and looked at her watch. "We have to be at the show in ninety minutes!"

Judai looked at me confused. But I shrugged my shoulders having no idea what she was talking about.

"What show?" I asked.

She gaped at me. "The one I've been pestering you about for the past _two weeks!_"

I stifled a laugh. "Oops."

Judai covered his mouth, trying to tame his giggles but he failed miserably.

Asuka's face was bright red. And I knew she was really mad because she was speaking in a very soft but firm voice. "Get dressed. Now."

Afraid that her head might actually explode, I gently took Judai's hand and lead him to our room where we would pick out our outfits and shower.

I chose a light blue dress shirt with a black tie and simple jeans and sneakers.

Judai picked out a simple gray T-shirt and black pants that I recognized to be part of the uniform we had to wear in college. Of course he'd be the one who kept them.

I hated those uniforms and burned them in the fire place the minute we bought this apartment. Seriously.

I let Judai use the shower in our room while I used the one in the guest room.

I showered so fast, I practically scrubbed myself raw. But I couldn't take any chances. You really should've seen Asuka's face. It's so scary I'm not even going to describe it.

But when I was finished, I hopped out and quickly dressed. Judai was hopping around on one foot, trying to get his shoe on when I stepped out of the room.

Asuka was pushing her sunglasses back on. "All right. Let's move."

We followed her out the door and into her GMC (which I had also bought for her.)

"I swear," she said as she started the car. "I regret ever deciding to work for you every single day."

I laughed. "But would you like to quit? I could easily find another person willing to do the job."

She whipped around. "That's not funny."

"I'm not joking."

Asuka glared at me and I narrowed my eyes back at her. She clenched her jaw. I grated my teeth. It was the ultimate stare-down.

Suddenly she smiled. "I love you."

"That's what I thought."

Judai shook his head. "Honestly you two, you're like an old married couple."

I rolled my eyes and Asuka laughed. "Ha! No thanks. You can have him."

She pulled out of the drive and headed toward the freeway.

"Where's Jim and Sho?" Judai asked. "Are they gonna meet us at the show?"

Asuka shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. Jim's starting his first day as a councilor at that new summer camp. And Sho's with his brother because he's going to study in Madrid or some other Spanish country."

I blinked. "Really? Ryo? Spain?"

Asuka nodded her head. "I know. Crazy, right?"

"I don't even remember him speaking a word while we were in school. Do you?"

Asuka and I laughed. "Trust me," I said. "You didn't want to. The things he said sometimes…_whew!_"

Asuka ran a hand through her hair. "Oh man, remember what he said after Judai's birthday party back at DA?"

Judai looked kinda confused at our laughter. "What'd he say?"

"He said, 'I forgot to ask him what it felt like to be legal age.'" I laughed again at the memory. "And then he started checking off girls he might screw!"

Judai rolled his eyes. "That's just gross."

With thirty minutes to spare, we arrived at some building in Tokyo. I still had no idea what the hell was going on.

"Asuka, where are we?"

She turned around in her seat. "You really do forget, don't you?"

We nodded.

She scoffed and muttered something about boys. "You're one the Da Seul Show. Remember?"

I thought back for a second. Then I had an aha moment. "Are you serious? Asuka, I was playing Halo. I don't pay attention to you when I'm playing Halo!"

"Oh, I remember that night!" Judai said. "I totally kicked your ass."

"Only because you had the sniper!"

"And because you kept throwing yourself off that cliff."

"You pushed me off, it wasn't fair!"

"Guys!" Asuka interrupted. "Listen, it doesn't matter. Now can we just go? We can't be late for these things!"

We hurried out of the car and into the building. And after going through what felt like airport security, we were finally in.

I sat myself down on the chair and let the girls put makeup on me.

Then when they were done, I waited backstage to be introduced. And when Da Seul said my name, I calmly stepped forward and tried not to make eye contact with the cameras. Only Da Seul and the cheering audience.

Da Seul gave me a hug and a light kiss on the cheek. "Welcome, Johan!"

"Thank you," I said over the noise. I settled into the sofa next to her and waited for the audience's cheers to die down. "I'm so glad I could be here today. I've always wanted to be on your show." Not really true but you know how it is. You have to play it up sometimes.

"Oh, really? Wow, that's cool. Thanks. So tell me about this new album."

I cleared my throat. "Well, um, there's not much to say." I laughed nervously. Maybe I should've practiced before coming on.

"Oh, sure there is! I bet there's tons things these guys wanna know about it."

The audience cheered in agreement.

"It all started when you won that competition at the baseball stadium, right?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I remember. I really wasn't expecting that. I was pretty sure that Jackson Harple was gonna beat me." I turned toward the crowd. "You guys know him right? He's come out with a few singles I think."

There were a few whoops and whistles.

"Oh, yeah," Da Seul said. "I remember watching it and my two daughters were fighting with each other over who was gonna win. I had to pull my youngest one off of her sister. I mean, she was trying to _literally_ bit her head off!"

Everyone laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it was a close call."

"But what'd you do afterwards?"

"Uh, well, I celebrated with my boyfriend for a while. Then I went up with Mr. Pettit and we started working on what my songs should sound like."

The crowd clapped.

"It sounds like you were successful. I mean, over one _million_ copies were sold! How do you feel about that?"

My eyes widened. "I'm sorry, what?"

A few laughs echoed from the distance.

"You didn't know?"

I shook my head. "No! What? A million copies! Holy crap!"

More laughs.

"You really didn't know?"

"No!" I laughed. "Oh my gosh, that's crazy! And now I'm mad because I can't do my little dance I do when I get happy."

"You have a dance? Show us!"

"No, it's too private."

"Oh, c'mon!"

I sighed. "Ok, ok." I stood up and started doing the cabbage patch which made people laugh, then the running man and then started doing a crappy version of the moonwalk.

Then before I could make even more of a fool of myself, I sat back down.

"That'll make it to YouTube," I said.

Da Seaul laughed. "Yeah, you bet. But I've got a question about one of your songs on the album."

I nodded. "Yeah?"

"So the bonus track. What's it called again?"

I smiled and had to force myself not to look back at Judai. "Made For You."

"Oh, yes, that's right. Well, it says that it's featuring a Judai Yuki? Who's that?"

I blushed. "That's my boyfriend."

The crowed _ooed_ scandalously.

"You're boyfriend, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He's actually the one who helped me become a singer. I honestly don't know where I'd be without him."

"Aw, how sweet! Do you love him?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"How long have you been together?"

"A year and a half now."

"Are you gonna get married?"

The question had caught me completely off guard. "Um…do I have to answer that?"

She laughed. "I suppose not. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little _too_ personal."

I laughed awkwardly. "Just a little bit."

"Well, let's break the ice. Would you and Judai like to play the song for us live?"

People were screaming hysterically now.

"You mean here? Now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

I shrugged. "Ok."

"All right! Guys stay tuned because after this break you'll be listening to Johan Anderson play live!"

The lights above the audience came on and I was sent backstage to get ready for a live performance.

Asuka was laughing when I got there.

"I was literally reading the email Tyler sent me when Da Seaul mentioned the whole million copies thing."

I rolled my eyes. "Smooth. Where's Judai?"

"He's getting dolled up for your song. You did a good job out there handling that marriage thing. I hate when they do that."

I shrugged. "Hey, it is what it is."

A wire was being attached inside my shirt when Judai walked out. He didn't look that different to me. I really didn't get these makeup people. They spend so much time trying to make us pretty and we end up leaving with practically nothing on.

I smiled at him. "You ready?"

"I'm a little nervous."

I kissed his forehead. "You'll be fine. If you can sing in front of a whole academy, you can sing in front of these guys too. There's less than half the school here."

Judai laughed. "I highly doubt that but ok."

I walked back on stage as people were returning to their seats.

I sat behind the piano and Judai sat next to me.

It was clear that the host hated her job. I could hear her yelling at everyone a mile away.

"And we're back!" Da Seul said, putting on her fake smile. "You guys ready to play?"

We nodded.

I waited for the audience to get quiet before I started playing.

"_I was writing, thinking with my long hand,_

_Put pen to paper, everything was sinking."_

"_Then you start to wonder,_

_How you gonna handle me?_

_When I'm under,_

_Swimming in the dark sea."_

"_Everybody wants you to make it,_

_It's all yours._

_Everybody wants you to take it,_

_It's all yours._

_Everybody wants you to make it,_

_It's all yours._

_Everybody wants you to t-t-t-take it."_

"_Can you feel all the love?_

_Can you feel all the love?_

_Can you feel all the love?_

_Can you feel all the love?"_

"_Like it was made for you!_

_It was made for you!_

_Like it was made for you! _

_It was made for you…"_

Judai was doing some great things with his harmony. His voice sounded great. I actually lowered mine so people would hear his because I wanted them to know it wasn't all me. Then he took up the next verse while I sang in the background.

"_Tell me something,_

_Something that'll move me._

_Don't tell me lies,_

_Or I swear your gonna lose me._

_Guilty like an ocean,_

_Jealous of the fish it feeds._

_You're devotion,_

_Swimming inside of me."_

"_Everybody wants you to make it,_

_It's all yours."_

_(Can you feel all the love?)_

"_Everybody wants you to take it,_

_It's all yours."_

_(Can you feel all the love?)_

"_Everybody wants you to make it,_

_It's all yours."_

_(Can you feel all the love?)_

"_Everybody wants you to take it, t-t-take it."_

_(Can you feel all the love?)_

"_Like it was made for you!_

_It was made for you!_

_Like it was made for you!_

_It was made for you."_

We stopped singing and my fingers began to dance all over the keys. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through me. People were clapping the beat and singing along but I didn't let it distract me. I just kept playing.

"_Can you feel?_

_Can you feel?_

_Can you feel?"_

I let my fingers fly across the keys once more before finally, I slowed down and brought the song to an end.

"All right, everyone! An unexpected live performance by Johan Anderson!"

I gave Da Seul one more hug and Judai did the song. "Thank you for having us on the show."

"Of course. Good luck to the both of you!"

I grabbed Judai's hand and led him backstage once more.

Asuka was typing away on her blackberry again. "Good job guys."

"Who are you texting this time?" I asked.

"I'm sending the news to Jim and Sho. Both of them say congrats. Jim said he's gonna stop by your apartment later so he can say so in person so don't come whining to me if he cockblocks you again.

Judai blushed but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. It was a Friday night and we had like four shots of vodka. What did he expect.

"Let's just go."

"Sure, ok. C'mon, guys."

We left the building but were met with a crowd of screaming teens, waiting for me to sign something.

I grabbed one of the girls' pen when I saw Yusei standing next to me. "Nice job out there."

I nodded silently.

"God Da Seul's annoying."

I smiled and nodded again.

I signed as many CD's and shirts as I dared and then left with Asuka. "If she really hates her job," I whispered, "then why did she make the show in the first place?"

Yusei laughed. "I know, right?"

Yusei kept up the conversation, including Judai when he was in hearing distance until we got back home.

"All right, Johan," Asuka said in the doorway. "You have a concert next month on the thirteenth at the Soccer Stadium. Some people are probably gonna call and ask some questions so don't freak."

"I won't," I said. "Thanks for keeping me posted."

"And don't forget this time!" Then she slammed the door shut.

I laughed. I turned around, expecting to see Judai but he was back in our room with his laptop in his lap.

Yusei stood next to me and whispered, "Remember that day of the contest?"

I nodded. "How could I not?"

Yusei smiled. "Do you remember when I said Judai was gonna publish a book?"

"Yeah, why?"

He pointed to the brunette. "He's starting it."

I grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah. But he's gonna chicken out about half way through. But keep encouraging him."

"Ok, I will."

Yusei kissed me. "I gotta go. See you later."

"See ya."

I waited until Yusei had completely disappeared before I looked back at my Judai.

He was concentrating so hard. I wondered what he was writing about.

I joined him on the bed and looked over his shoulder.

_And then _he_ sat next to me. His very presence sent a surge of energy through me, making my whole body tingle. It was making me crazy. Like, literally crazy. It made me talk to him! If it wasn't for that, I would've never opened my mouth! I mean, c'mon what was I supposed to say?_

_Oh, I know. Something like, "Hi, Johan." Yeah, stupid._

The scene sounded so familiar. It took me a minute to realize that he was writing the story of how we got together. Oh, what a book that'll be.

I placed my arm around his shoulders and kissed his jaw. "I love you, Ju-chan."

Judai smiled. "I love you too, Jo-kun."

I was a singer. Asuka was my personal assistant. Jim was a councilor. And Judai was an author. We were all living our dreams. And I found out that it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Making a dream real didn't mean I had to make sacrifices. Sure, it was hard work but I had everything I've ever wanted. I had my friends, Judai and I had Yusei.

Someone knocked on the door again and I groaned. "You keep working. I'll get it."

I looked through the peephole and almost jumped at who it was.

"Haou. What are you doing here?"

The boy stood there, same arrogant look in his eyes, same tough bravado rolling off of him. He clearly hasn't changed.

"I wanted-" his voice was cut off. He tried again. "I wanted to…congraaaaa-" He stopped again and I couldn't help but smirk. "I wanted to…con…gra…tulate you."

I laughed lightly. "Thanks. I appreciate it. Did you want to speak to Judai?"

Something flashed across his eyes, something that looked like nervousness. "No. It's fine. Just tell him I stopped by. And that I said I'm sorry for all of the trouble I've caused."

I crossed my arms, suddenly aware of how serious things were. "Are you sure you don't want me to go get him?"

Haou nodded and smiled, which was odd. "Yeah, I'm sure. And…tell him thanks for me."

"For what?"

"Doesn't matter. Just relay the message for me, all right?"

I nodded. "Ok. I'll tell him."

Haou and I just stood there, staring at each other awkwardly. I was about to say goodbye when he held out his hand.

I smiled, took his hand and shook it firmly.

Haou nodded his head once and then left. He didn't need to say anything. I knew exactly what it meant.

He still loved Judai. It was obvious. But he came back to tell me that it was ok. Things were finally resolved between us.

It might hurt Judai for him to know that he didn't want to speak with him. But I knew that he'd get better. Because it had to.

We were together, both of us living our dreams. It doesn't make sense if it all comes crashing down now. We have too many things that need to be done in such little time.

I should've been worried that I'd end up like Yusei. Losing my life before anything got accomplished. But when I'm with Judai, growing old doesn't scare me. In fact, I'm looking forward to it.

Sitting on the porch, both of us gray-haired, making out by the swings…ok maybe not that much. But I knew we'd always be together.

Something was boiling up inside me as I thought about it. I jumped up and ran to our room. "Hey, Judai."

He looked up.

"I'm gonna go for a ride. I'll be right back. Unless you wanna come with me."

Judai shook his head. "No, I'll just keep working on this. You won't be out long, will you?"

I shook my head. "Nope. I just really go for a ride."

Judai laughed. "Whatever. I'll see you when you get back."

I quickly grabbed my helmet and raced down the stairs to my bike.

I hopped on and revved the engine.

I smiled at the feel of it. It had been so long since I've been able to ride.

I backed out and began to speed down the street.

Lifting up my right hand, I screamed at the top of my lungs as if I were on a rollercoaster.

Strange looks were passed my way but I couldn't care less. I just kept riding. I felt good. Even if I included the day when I started my first day shitty day of college, I could easily say that my life was perfect.

Absolutely _fucking_ perfect.

**So, what'd you guys think? Did you like it? Hopefully it wasn't a total drag cuz i loved writing this fic! I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did! But don't worry, this won't be my last. In the words of Arnol Schwartznegger: I'll be back XD**

**Review plz!**

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	37. Soundtrack

**Hey guys…again lol sorry if I got anyone's hopes up for a new chapter. Sorry. I just wanted to post a list of all the songs used in case anyone was curious and didn't want to surf through every chapter. I don't know.**

**What the hell? Why not dedicate a song to this non-chapter?**

**Song: Let It Go by Gavin Degraw**

Chapter 1: My Love by Sia- Johan's POV

Chapter 2: September by Daughtry- Johan's POV

Chapter 3: Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy

End of the Summer by Theory of a Deadman

Awake and Alive by Skillet- Johan's POV

Chapter 4: Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift- Judai's POV

Chapter 5: 'Cuz I Can by P!nk- Johan's POV

Chapter 6: Mean by Taylor Swift- Judai's POV

Chapter 7: Fuck You by Cee Lo Green- Johan's POV

Chapter 8: Don't Let The Sun Go Down by Elton John- Judai's POV

Chapter 9: Ours by The Bravery

Something To Believe In by Parachute- Johan's POV

Chapter 10: Enchanted by Taylor Swift- Judai's POV

Chapter 11: Open Up Your Eyes by Daughtry- Johan's POV

Chapter 12: Best Of Me by The Letter Black- Judai's POV

Chapter 13: Someone Saved My Life Tonight by Elton John

E.T. by Katy Perry- Johan's POV

Chapter 14: This Afternoon by Nickelback- Judai's POV

Chapter 15: Start A Fire by Ryan Star- Johan's POV

Chapter 16: On The Inside by Daughtry- Johan's POV

Chapter 17: Away In Silence by Creed- Judai's POV

Chapter 18: Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic- Johan's POV

Chapter 19: Catalyst by Anna Nalick- Judai's POV

Chapter 20: Mercy by OneRepublic- Johan's POV

Chapter 21: Goodbye Apathy by OneRepublic- Judai's POV

Chapter 22: Prodigal by OneRepublic- Johan's POV

Chapter 23: Addicted by Saving Abel- Judai's POV

Chapter 24: Innocent by Taylor Swift- Johan's POV

Chapter 25: Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd- Judai's POV

Chapter 26: Far Away by Nickelback

Never Gonna Leave This Bed by Maroon 5- Johan's POV

Chapter 27: Every Day by Rascal Flatts- Judai's POV

Chapter 28: By The Way by Theory of a Deadman ft. Chriss Daughtry- Johan's POV

Chapter 29: Marchin' On by OneRepublic- Judai's POV

Chapter 30: Run, Don't Walk by Hey Monday- Johan's POV

Chapter 31: I'm Yours by The Script- Judai's POV

Chapter 32: Got It Made by Theory of a Deadman

Never Alone by Barlow Girls- Johan's POV

Chapter 33: 6 Months by Hey Monday- Judai's POV

Chapter 35: Renegade by Daughtry

Does It Really Matter by Theory of a Deadman

Sacrifice by Theory of a Deadman- Johan's POV

Chapter 36: Made For You by OneRepublic- Johan's POV

Song List: Let It Go by Gavin Degraw

**I hoped you guys enjoyed it and I hope to see you next time!**

**P.S. Enjoy your Halloween! And don't forget: Trick-or-Treating is for all ages! I'm fifteen and I'm still dressing up lol have fun!**

**Leave a review telling me what you're dressing up as! I'm gonna be a water nymph!**

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